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Edited on Mon Dec-26-05 09:09 PM by Radio_Lady
fill the void. I wish you had been able to make peace with your father before he died. (If it's any comfort to you, I was unable to do it, either. My father lived until age 76 and when my mother called and told me he was gone, I didn't shed a tear. Later, I did miss him and realized he did the best he could as a parent.)
Reasons for the estrangement in our family are somewhat clear. I raised the three stepkids as best I could after their mother died, but never replaced here. She was the angel and I was scum. Deeply into adolescence, I wondered why I had taken this on, and now advise women who want to marry men with children: BEWARE! IT CAN BE A REAL QUAGMIRE! I don't think they have ever forgiven their father for remarrying me. We tried counseling, gifts, and we paid for weddings and the joint purchase of a home, while I was working and their father was unemployed. Later, we remembered each of the older daughter's children with visits and presents for their birthdays. But in the end, it's clear they either know nothing about us, or they have been poisoned with their mother's viewpoint. The upshot is if we saw them in the mall, we wouldn't know them.
There was a big blowup around one visit with the younger daughter. She was married and came into town with her son around Thanksgiving. My husband was invited to the party, he was told pointedly that I was not welcome. He refused to go.
It's a lot of stuff. I wish them well, but we are not in a good place. We just have the three children with whom we have a good relationship.
In peace,
Radio_Lady
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