Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

I choked out a Freeper at the office Christmas party last night.

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
Beware the Beast Man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 03:54 PM
Original message
I choked out a Freeper at the office Christmas party last night.
The vile freeper coworker of mine got drunk and took the podium last night, spewing out vile insults about "femnazis" and "the poor are poor because they are lazy," the usual stuff. After 5 minutes of this, I had enough. I told him off and tried to get him to calm down, but he threw his drink at me and called me a "commie bastard." "That's it!" I screamed. "I am going to settle this once and for all, you Christo-fascist supporter!" Then I grabbed his necktie with my left hand and throat punched him with the right. He retaliated with a series of uppercuts, but I relented and power-bombed him through a table. Thinking quickly, I grabbed the microphone cable and wrapped it around his throat. He wheezed and sprayed blood from his nose as he gasped for air. With one foot on his heaving chest, I grabbed them mic and said "Tell everybody you're Bill Clinton's pool boy. SAY IT!!!" With the little breath he had left, he muttered, silently, "i...am..bill...clinton's..pool boy." "Good," I said, freeing him from certain doom. "Now go, and never come back to this place."


But not really.

Happy Holidays, everyone! :hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Fenris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
1. ...
:spray:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 04:18 PM
Response to Original message
2. A broke a bottle and cut one with it
He was going on about how gays shouldn't be married and all. SO I said, "careful buddy, you're gonna get hurt." To which HE replied, "Go for it, there's three more of us in the back seat." I said, "Pity the back seat!" And broke my whiskey bottle on the fence.
It got a little heated and a slashed his face.

Fucker he ain't pretty no more
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-24-05 12:53 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. That sounds very much like a scene from "The Outsiders"
:P
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
AmandaRuth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 04:18 PM
Response to Original message
3. LOL
my freeper fantasies revolve around making these overpaid executives work and survive on these min wage jobs that abound in todays economy - I had a district manager tell me that our warehouse workers are well paid - Salaries run from $16,500 to $20,000 yearly. Some of our workers go to food banks and one is involved in the WIC program.

And Happy Holidays right back at ya.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
sakabatou Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-24-05 01:19 AM
Response to Original message
5. For those of you who have seen the anime X-1999 or X the movie
You can kinda get what punishment these asswipes deserve.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-24-05 01:32 AM
Response to Original message
6. Well, all I have to say is...
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

Happy Holidays too!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Wed May 01st 2024, 12:00 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC