why don't women like unattractive men?

[liontamer]

I see it all the time, women always go for the attractive, friendly, confident guy and completely ignore the unattractive guy muttering under his breath in the corner.

DU ladies:
What's up with that?

[LisaL]

1. Beats me.

:shrug:

[mwooldri]

2. Guess same reason men don't go for....

... the unattractive woman muttering under her breath in the corner.

Oh, and another thing: sex sells. As a good friend of mine one said, "phallic symbols sells records."

[liontamer]

3. ?

[mwooldri]

4. Which do you prefer?

OR

?????

Believe it or not it's exactly the same person.

Link: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/trans29.htm

Another example:

OR

?????

Link: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/trans48.htm

I know there are plenty of people who would (if these people were single) want to date the "after" photo much more than the "before" photo.

Mark.

[ForrestGump]

59. THAT

is a brilliant point.

Not only do I (we all) know people who'd not go near the 'before' photos based solely on external attraction, but I know people who -- when they WERE the 'before' photo not only considered themselves unworthy of love, or much else, BUT categorically stated that they would not want someone who wanted them when they looked like that. Yes, the rare doublethink-with-an-inside-twist form of shallowness, a hybrid I have thus far only seen in people from Beverly Hills and environs.

[bridgit]

5. i've always understood it to be an amalgam of factors...

primary of which being ethereals such as: scent, proximity, atmospherics that can translate into concepts such as security, future, home; physical attraction is important, but something has to draw people together. and that can be the look of another's eye from across the room. why are too many women not drawn to clearly attractive men who don't have any money. you could procreate an entire tract of people predicated upon goodly qualities :shrug: but that's just me

[GirlinContempt]

37. Symmetrical faces

have been tied to low rates of genetic dysfunction.
No wonder we find it attractive.

[bridgit]

42. boy do i think i know what you're saying, had a blind date with a guy...

that looked like a canvas strewn with shards of cubist weeping, then he said he had no money after all, and i had to pick up the bar tab x( sex with him was the very last thing on my mind

[Misunderestimator]

6. LOL!!

muttering in the corner... :rofl:

[bridgit]

7. honey, i'm home...

:rofl: :hi:

[Misunderestimator]

8. I'm sorry I don't understand...

you were muttering... :D

:rofl: :hi:

[bridgit]

13. quit'jer yap'n will'ya, i've had a lousy day...

:rofl:

[Misunderestimator]

14. You've already had a lousy day?

Damn... there's a lot more left of it. :hug:

Slackware Linux... :rofl:

[bridgit]

17. it only seems like an eternity...

We live on a mountain
Right at the top
There's a beautiful view
From the top of the mountain

Every morning I walk towards the edge
And throw little things off
Like car-parts, bottles and cutlery
Or whatever I find lying around
It's become a habit
A way to start the day

I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you

I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you

It's real early morning
No-one is awake
I'm back at my cliff
Still throwing things off
I listen to the sounds they make
On their way down
I follow with my eyes 'til they crash
Imagine what my body would sound like
Slamming against those rocks
When it lands
Will my eyes
Be closed or open?

I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you

I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you

I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you

Safe up here with you
Safe up here with you
Safe up here with you

:hug:

[Misunderestimator]

18. LOL! What a touching song!

What did you throw off the mountain this morning? :D

[bridgit]

19. ah yes, that would be the tattered remnant of a carpet thread...

:thumbsup:

[Dangerously Amused]

9. DON'T go there. DO NOT get me started. Just don't.

[Misunderestimator]

10. Why... because then you would be...

dangerously amused? :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Dangerously Amused]

11. More dangerous. Less amused.

:eyes:


:hi:

[Misunderestimator]

12. Are you one of them there nice guys?

Just don't tell me that you mutter in the corner...

:hi:

[Bucky]

15. And they never believe that it's rust, not dried blood, on my chainsaw

Honestly, people are so cynical sometimes.

[SoCalDem]

16. I have seen many gorgeous women married to very ugly men

Perhaps when women are ready to settle down, they choose more cautiously. Maybe that hunky wild-guy might not make a good provider/husband/father-to-children.:shrug:

Looks don't usually last anyway..

[kwassa]

20. but if he is a rich unattractive guy muttering under his breath

things could be different.

[liontamer]

29. especially if the woman in question is a prostitute

[Misunderestimator]

32. Ha! Exactly...

And what a great thread that would be.

"Why don't prostitutes like nice but poor guys?"

[neweurope]

21. Well - I never had "attractive" men in the usual sense of

the word. But I'd certainly not choose a man who's "muttering under his breath in a corner"!

------------------

Remember Fallujah

Bush to The Hague!

[Loonman]

22. Same reason why men don't like unattractive women

Biology, man.

[Ellen Forradalom]

23. Because I hate muttering.

"Got something to say? Say it so I can hear it." I tell my unattractive, muttering husband that all the time. :-)

[Starbucks Anarchist]

24. Oh, yeah? Well... mumble, mumble, mumble...

:)

[LynneSin]

25. Why don't men like unattractive women

I mean we're not the only culprits here

[liontamer]

30. i know, but there aren't a dozen threads a week

from women complaining that men only want to date bitches

[raccoon]

34. Yep! I've wondered about that too.

One encounters FAR more threads on the Net in general, not just DU, where men are complaining that women don't want to date "nice guys". You rarely see the opposite.

Is it just because there are more men than women on the Internet? Or is it something else?

[liontamer]

35. these men feel entilted to women

largely because they view women as objects or a game. Most women don't have the same sense of entitlement nor the societal largesse to dehumanize men in the same manner

[kwassa]

39. "Entilted" I like that misspelling

I've known some pretty entilted people.

[liontamer]

48. hey i've been up for days, give me a break

:)

[hfojvt]

51. It's because there are more men

desperately seeking Susan (Faludi) than there are Susans desperately seeking Sam (Donaldson). It's a sellers market for the attractive ladies, and after a guy has been rejected a few dozen times he has little recourse except to stand in the corner and mutter to himself or complain to his fellow travelers on the internets. Of course, we are also expected to have compassion for all those single mothers who would not give us the time of day when they were not mothers, but instead hooked up with somebody who turned out to be a jacka$$hole.

[Heidi]

26. What do you mean, specifically, by "unattractive"? (nt)

[liontamer]

31. i'm positing another explanation for why women aren't dating

the so called "nice guys". By unattractive i just mean someone who complains that women are never attracted to him and they only want jerks

[Heidi]

38. I've always dated nice guys, and I'm married to a nice guy.

I don't think that a guy lodging those complaints would necessarily make him unattractive.

[BlueJazz]

27. Here's a picture of me..I.....I.... just..just don't understand....

...why I can't get to first base with classy women.
Maybe it's my breath??.. Sigh...

[ForrestGump]

60. There's something different about you these days. Can't put my finger on

it.

Did you dye your hair a different color?

[Redstone]

28. Well, for Christ's sake, if women liked those men, or

if men liked those women, well, that would mean that they would not be unattractive,, now wouldn't it?

I mean, since the men or women would then be attracted to them? As in the opposite of unattracted?

Sheesh. Little logic here, ladies and gentlemen.

Redstone

[liontamer]

33. i know

the original post was meant to be a sarcastic response to the constant "women only like jerks, nice guys like me never get laid" threads

[Redstone]

41. And, in my neverending obliviousness, I didn't catch that.

Thanks for the clarification.

Redsdumb

[CAcyclist]

57. me,either.

[ForrestGump]

61. I never got 'laid' (well, I did, but not enough), but I never thought

it was because women, in general, prefer jerks. I just put it down to some ancient curse of supreme irony.

Besides, later in life I've had the opportunity many times but not taken it because I am a nice guy -- first because I was married and then because it just didn't feel right. The sexual impulse is incredibly strong, but it can be diverted, channeled, and sublimated.

And I know that women are, essentially, just after my precious bodily fluids...

[Heidi]

46. Here's some logic for ya:

There are hundreds of thousands of unmarried and unattached men and women in the US. Just because 10 or 20 or 30 people over the course of a lifetime have considered one "unattractive" does _not_ make this a fact. Come on! Even a hundred out of hundreds of thousands does _not_ a fact make.

[GirlinContempt]

36. Personally I always go for the unattractive guy

Didn't you meet my ex?

He has to sit down a lot, we didn't often go dancing, but other than that he was a good guy.

[DanCa]

40. Or those of us with chronic neurological illness :)

Ah well i got pets at home that like me.

[El Fuego]

43. Attractive is in the eye of the beholder.

I always think dorky geeky types are hot, and my girlfriends think I'm weird. But it works for me. So even if the women don't swarm over the guy in the corner, there's bound to be ONE woman who thinks he's handsome.

Plus, people just naturally gravitate to friendly confident types... regardless of looks. Sorry to say it, but a guy muttering under his breath in the corner sounds a little psycho...

[liontamer]

52. true

but if the beholder deems someone unattractive, why not just let it go?

some people will never want me, that doesn't mean that men are stupid and they don't know what they're missing.

If however everybody I spend time with runs away screaming, it doesn't mean that men just don't know how good and kind I am, it means I'm doing something to creep them out

[BuelahWitch]

44. I think a man's personality makes him more or less attractive

I've worked with several men who weren't that great looking, but they were so kind to me I would have liked to have gotten to know them better. Then there were others who were good looking, but once you got to know them you said "Yuck."

But I might question the mental health of the one muttering in the corner...

[liontamer]

49. that's true

but if your personality makes you unattractive that's no reason to say that all women only want jerks is it?

[Missy Vixen]

45. Some of the most attractive men I have ever known

have not been what another woman would consider traditionally handsome. It depends on the guy in question.

Julie

[bertha katzenengel]

47. DU men:

Why do men ignore fat women?

[William Bloode]

50. I think yer wrong, hell i know yer wrong.

I am beaten and scarred in the face. I have bullet/knife wound scars on my body, my head and forehead look like a railroad crossing, i am missing 1/2 an ear, the other whole one is cauliflowered. My nose is crooked from being broken multiple times, one eye is a bit crooked from having my orbital socket smashed, and the eye lid sewn back on, one side of my lips hang lower than the other. Yet despite all this i get hit on and flirted with more than when i was a pretty young smooth 18 yr old lad. I have found attitude plays much more a part than looks, money helps too.....unfortuneatley i am a poor broke ass fucker lol!

[liontamer]

53. attractive is more than just looks

if you're attracting people, then you are attractive.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

54. Your key phrase is "muttering under his breath in the corner"

He needs to get out of the corner and act confident and friendly. As long as he doesn't drip grease from his hair or walk around in a cloud of body odor or have dead eyes and a monotone voice, he'll do better out in the center of the floor than in the corner.

[ny_liberal]

55. is this a trick question?

lol

[CAcyclist]

56. Umm, I went for that weird guy lurking in the corner

a few weeks ago. Well, he's a really good dancer (always dances by himself, as I generally do myself) and good dresser, and attractive to me but not necessarily to the avergae woman, but definitely not overtly friendly and confident. We went out on a few dates and then he stood me up. He still goes to the same club and now he's avoiding me.

Those men lurking in the corners have issues and maybe it's better sometimes to leave them alone.

Also, it's not really fair to always expect the attractive woman to go for the unattractive guy - what about expecting the attractive guy to go for the unattractive woman?

[RevCheesehead]

58. *sigh* ....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=4482405&mesg_id=4482688

[caty]

62. Maybe it's because he is

muttering under his breath in the corner. I look for warmth in his eyes and smile. Get that guy out of the corner and tell him to speak up.