I can't believe when my born again sister asked if I was a virgin

[LittleClarkie]

I said "Yes, unless my right hand counts."

I couldn't believe I said that.

[Xithras]

1. You answer should have been NO.

My born-again cousin once lectured me that to think about another nude woman was adultery while we were arguing about pornography. I asked him if he considered THINKING about having sex with someone to be the same as having sex, and he informed me that the Bible said it was.

By that yardstick, I was a raging manslut at 11 years old :evilgrin:

[Deja Q]

2. Yours was the size of a yardstick?

:wow:

:yourock:

[Xithras]

3. Ack, I can't respond to that!

Every comeback that comes to mind would either get deleted by the mods or get this locked as a sex thread ;)

[Name removed]

4. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Canuckistanian]

15. Hey, when it comes to sex...

I hold my own....

[Jade Fox]

5. Should have told her you've had it restored.

Years ago there was a book out called 'How to Restore Your Virginity', or something
like that. As I recall, it was pretty funny.

[victim]

6. HAHAHAHAHAHHA

Was it of the "Sorry, bitch, we can't get married til your hymen grows back!" variety????

[InkAddict]

17. Plastic surgery can fix that! n/t

[sasquatch]

11. Are you a Bengals fan?

[undeterred]

7. When I was around 30 I finally told my married fundie sister

that she could stop whispering about sex in front of me, because even though I was single I knew about it.

[RevCheesehead]

8. ROFLOL!

:rofl: Great answer!!

Whenever anyone is obnoxious enough to ask, I simply smirk at them and say "what do you think?"

Honestly - it keeps them wondering even more!!! O8)

[Missy Vixen]

9. Why is it any of her business?

I'm continually amazed at the nosiness some people exhibit.

In the meantime, good answer re: "my right hand".

Julie

[Ellen Forradalom]

10. "I'm a born-again virgin!"

"The Lord has made me innocent again!"

[Bucky]

21. You have been kcuf'ed!

[sasquatch]

12. How *ahem* is your sister and many years seperate are you?

[LittleClarkie]

16. 10 years

She's married with two kids. She married, had an affair and my first nephew, divorced, got born again, married, had nephew number two, divorced, remarried the guy she divorced that second time. Now one nephew was like his dad, had drug issues, got cleaned up, had a kid with his girlfriend, who then went back to the drug lifestyle, while he stayed clean. He's now a single daddy. The other turned out to be bisexual, and now has full blown AIDS.

She's bringing him home to mother him because he's not doing so well either physically or mentally.

She's a good woman. She just drove me nuts today getting too personal about why I never married and am still a virgin. Like she's in a position to give advice.

Just yesterday an old boyfriend was doing the same thing, only he was giving me financial advice and telling me I should move out of the apartment where I've lived for 30 years. It's not the best apartment in the world, but it's home. He doesn't get the "sentimental attachement" and thinks I could do better for the same money, or get a cheaper apartment not in the suburbs. He also thinks I should get a new computer, get rid of cable, get rid of internet, and stop going out. This from a guy who has two or three maxed credit cards. I'm in debt too, but not like that.

It's been two days of unwanted advice. It got on my nerves. In some ways, I think I got back at my sister by saying something that was kinda gross, though I didn't think of it that way until later.

Oh, the life of a single lass.

(looks up) Good God, I just sorta spilled my guts, didn't I. Eh, so be it.

[CBHagman]

18. People are ALWAYS Santa's Little Helper, aren't they?

Or do I mean Satan's Little Helper?

Little Clarkie, I have reached the point where if someone says, "Well, she meant well when she gave that advice/said that to you," etc., my sincere response is that I don't care. Everyone's an expert on everyone else's (pick one or more) job hunt, love life, financial status, living situation, etc.

Whew. This time of year brings it home.

:hug:

[hfojvt]

19. people used to tell me that in grad school

they would give advice and I would just say "I'll take it under advisement". They said "you never listen." I said "I listened, but it is my life, after all."

Then again, my life does kinda suck. Maybe I should have listened a little more.

[tuvor]

13. It's not just fundies that ask inappropriate questions.

When my then-girlfriend and I got engaged after two months of dating, EVERYONE--family, friends, coworkers--was asking us if she was pregnant.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

14. I think that's hilarious! LOL!

[dback]

20. "Does anal sex count? Does oral sex count? Does bestiality count?"

You could've had some serious fun with this question. :)