I just dropped out of college.

[Err]

After careful consideration with myself and my parents, I just decided to drop out of college...for now. As many of you know, I have been suffering from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Major Depression, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, and Agoraphobia, so my college education has not been that great. I'm doing really horribly in all my classes right now. My sub-par education has to do with a combination of things, including the wrong major and my mental disorders. So I decided it was best to drop out now, get my mental disabilities well under control, and then come back to college in a year or two...whenever I get my life straightened out.

This is definitely the lowest point in my life, considering I only have one more semester left to graduate. I know that with my current condition right now, I will not be able to do well at all in any of my classes next spring.

I am in tears right now. Thank you DU for being here for me. Without you, I'd be even more miserable. :grouphug:

[MissMillie]

1. Err... take care of yourself

:hug:

It sounds to me like you have thought this through. It also sounds to me that you will most definitely be back to finish what you started.

Please don't fret. There is no crime in taking a little time off to take care of yourself.


:hug:

[RevCheesehead]

2. Oh, sweetheart -

Come here and get a cheezy hug. :hug:
Have another: :hug::hug:

There is no shame in dropping out, if you feel that's the best course of action. The most important thing you can do is to take care of yourself. It sounds like you're realizing that, too.

Keep posting here, and we'll :loveya: on ya until you feel better.

[lizziegrace]

3. I'm very sorry for you.

I was finally diagnosed with ADD at 44 years old. My life until now has been a series of disasters and humiliating experiences. I'm on medication and doing much better, but still show the scars of the past. Do take the time to get your mental condition and self-esteem back under control. Until then, you may succeed, but barely.

All the best to you and may your recovery be swift.

LG

[Rising Phoenix]

4. I totally understand...

you made a tough decison, but you have to do what is right for you... I have bipolar and panic disorder with agoraphobia, all of which blew up my final semester in college...it was really hard, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone...take care of yourself first...if you ever need to talk...

[catmandu57]

5. Sometimes college isn't the answer

It sounds like you've come to a mature and rational decision, if you can't carry the load put it down, take care of immediate problems, and if it becomes an option in the future, you can pick it back up.

[NNadir]

6. Take some time, work your mind, see what you like, and come back.

Age brings perspective.

You are doing the right thing.

[XemaSab]

7. I'm sorry to hear that

Hopefully you will be able to go back later to finish your degree.

:hug:

[jane_pippin]

8. Aw Err, good for you--that's a tough decision to make.

I was in the same place a few years ago--except instead of dropping out I let them kick me out which was pretty stupid on my part. I was failing everything, didn't like the school I was in, I was depressed and overwhelmed and then felt guilty since few people in my family even made it to college and here I was fucking it up.

I took a year off, got my head together and then found a school I actually wanted to be at with a major I was excited about and I managed to graduate with honors.

You are so not alone with this kind of situation and you're lucky to have parents who understand where you're coming from.

:hug: to you, and good thoughts/vibes/whatever you want to call 'em to you too. When you're ready, you'll kick your last semester's ass.

[Err]

14. That's the way I feel right now.

Very few members of my family have gone to college, and here I am, fucking it up. I'm really depressed right now.

I hope I can get everything under control.

I know that when I am ready to go back to school, it'll be at a different college and it'll be with a different degree.

[jane_pippin]

19. You know what, one of the hardest things to learn was that

I wasn't going to school for my family, I was going for me. Sure, I wanted to make my family proud--especially those who didn't go. I convinced myself I was going for all of them who couldn't. But that's such a heavy load to give yourself on top of everything else you have to deal with in school.

Learning that my family would love me no matter what, that they'd be proud of me no matter what, and that they knew I had to live my own life made all of it so much easier to handle.

You seem like you know yourself pretty well, and I bet you'll have everything under control and then some.

[WolverineDG]

25. don't accept that pressure

:hug:

just because very few of your family ever attempted college doesn't mean you should think you failed because you have to drop out or are "fucking it up." yes you were close to finishing, but in the wrong major & lots of health problems to deal with. there's no shame in recognizing that these problems need to be dealt with first. and who knows? with the pressure of being in college in the wrong major gone, you might be able to deal with them more easily/quickly than had you carried on. if this should come up in a future job interview (& it probably will), your best answer is what you said in your OP--it shows that you thoroughly considered your options, included seeking the advice of others, and didn't act in haste to make a "quick fix" of the situation.

besides, depending on where you transfer to & what your new major/minor are, you won't have to take those lame required basic classes again. :)

i hope things look up for you soon! :)

dg

[hickman1937]

40. But you haven't fucked up.

You've identified your problems, and chosen to deal with them. I say good for you. Sometimes you have to back up into what is familiar and comfortable, rest, get help, then shoot off to the next step. No shame in that. Some of the most brilliant people in history needed to go home early on, then achieve.

[Shell Beau]

9. Err, just take care of yourself, try to focus on the positive things,

and :hug: Things will look up soon!

[TallahasseeGrannie]

10. Dear Err

I'm kind of relieved for you, dear. It sounded like it had caught up with you bigtime and knowing when and how to retreat is part of winning. Can you get an incomplete so you don't get F's?

Listen, I have been agoraphobic. Almost a year I never left my house. I have anxiety/panic disorder and I am here to tell you this is a disorder that eventually evens out. It all has to do with learning strategies and while it never goes away, you learn how to actually use the feelings to your advantage. PM me if you would like to. I'm here and proof there is life after mood disorders. (and of course depression is the flip side)

For now, go home and let your parents love you and remember..baby steps! You can do this.

[Lex]

11. Sounds like you needed a lighter class load, imho.

I think I remember a thread of yours from last week and it seemed like you had so much to do in all your classes.

When you feel up to completing your degree, consider taking a lighter class load even if it takes a little longer to finish.

Peace.

[auntAgonist]

12. look after your health needs first

and take care of you :hug:


You're doing the right thing!

[XemaSab]

13. Can you take some incompletes

so you don't have to repeat the whole crappy semester?

[I Have A Dream]

15. You need to take care of yourself right now, Err.

Just promise yourself that you will go back as soon as you're able, and then totally focus on doing what you need to do to be happy and healthy again.

I wish that you didn't have to go through this pain right now.

:hug:

[snacker]

20. I agree completely...

your health and happiness is the most important thing right now. Take care of yourself. We all support you and see nothing but good things for you in the future.....focus on that!

[CarpeDiebold]

16. Hey bud

I'm sorry to hear about your situation :(

I had a bad college situation, too. Taking time off was the BEST thing I could have done.I think you'll find it incredibly useful, too. I'm very glad to hear you thought through this with your family...I'm sure you will feel better with some time/help.

*sending good vibes your way*

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

17. Take care...

The first few months are really crappy, becuase you kinda feel like you fell short...(I'm not trying to make you feel bad: I dropped out of college, too, so I know somewhat how you feel).
In time, that passes.
Get everything sorted out and see if you want to return. I did, and I finally have a job I actually enjoy.
Good luck, and do what you feel is right.

[Err]

18. I just don't know what I'm going to do now.

You know, I feel like I've wasted this whole college experience...

Anyways, I think that after the holidays, I'll figure out what to do with my life...with getting a job and all. And I suppose I'll have to start paying back all that money I borrowed.

Oh god. This is going to be hell.

[Heidi]

21. Err, my friend . . .

I just got home and I'm sorry I didn't see this thread earlier. Get your health in line and go back to school when you're stronger and clearer. Turn this low point into a high point; you're a smart and good-hearted man, and I know you can do this. Your all-around health is the most important thing. :hug: PM me and/or Call Me Wesley if we can help in any way. :pals: :hug:

[Err]

22. Thank you everyone for the well wishes.

I'm grateful for everything you've helped me with. I'll get my life on track and I'll come back to school...but when, who knows.

Thanks everyone. :grouphug: :hi:

[WindRavenX]

23. hey dood

:hug:

I know this is a rough spot. Take care of yourself, right?

[Deja Q]

24. Err

:hug: :pals: :hug:

I know a LOT of what you're going through. Depression, ADD, GAD (or PTSD), and Asperger's.

Feel free to PM any time you wish; even if I can do little more than listen right now, I have found that discussion and talking with people considerably alleviates the depression component.

Do NOT do the drugs psychiatrists prescribe without good reason or cause.

And I am very much glad you are able to talk with us here. :hug:

[Call Me Wesley]

26. Though decision, but surely the right one.

And I've been there, done that, again, too. Makes me somewhat respect the ones more who went through though times and came back one day; even more mature and faster on the path. I know that words are not this comforting, and that it's you right now being caight in your own skin and not able to escape yet.

But it's also yourself that comes first, and I believe that your decision is the absolutely right thing to do. Nothing runs away from you; except if you'd stand still and would let yourself be sucked in deeper.

And I just saw that you were referring to your family and that you're almost the only one going to college. Don't let this pressure burden you; it's your life, and if you can't give them what they might expect, it's still their expectation and not yours. I'll hope they'd expect for you to live a worthy life for yourself (dealing with everything, of course) instead of awaiting a degree hanging at your back wall right now. It's you that counts.

Walk your path, and if you need anything, let me know. Pathes are many, and sometimes the short ones lead us too far away from anything we should have experienced. No worries; it'll be though, but you made the first step into the right direction.

Good vibes and take good care of yourself.

[Thtwudbeme]

27. I am so very sorry;

is there anyway possible you could finish with an online degree program? My school (University of North Carolina) offers online classes (but, not a whole degree program) and the University of Maryland has a whole one online.

Shoot me a PM if you are interested, and I will try to find the stuff on the net for you.

Stephanie

[Mizmoon]

28. Make sure you go back

Get better but just be sure to go back. You'll probably regret it later if you don't.

[underpants]

29. Eh

college is always there. Take your time just make sure you get the damned degree.

Don't fret about it. Take some time sit back relax and then go back for a semester or a take two to do one.

[Xithras]

30. Did you try adjusting your class load first?

As a college professor, I'm always saddened to hear about students dropping out because of pressure issues. There are many ways to tackle the problem, and dropping out is a drastic solution that should be reserved for the most extreme cases. Practically every college and university in the country, from your local community college to Yale, has disability services offices with people specially trained to help people like yourself have a successful college career. Whether you need special tutoring, a group of peers to work with who are experiencing similar problems, counselors to provide additional educational planning, or simply a sounding board to help you work through your difficulties, I'm sure that there's resources there to help.

Most of us in higher ed know the statistics, which is why so many of us are willing to bend over backward to help people like yourself graduate. 90+% of students who drop out of college say that they plan on returning. Less than 1 in 10 ever do. If it's not too late, please make sure that you have explored ALL of your options before formally dropping out.

[Lex]

37. I thought adjusting his class load might work too.

It sure helped a college friend of mine get through school. A year late, but she still graduated. She just got overwhelmed with the work in her junior year.

She did lighter load semesters and that did the trick.

[LaraMN]

31. Oh Err! I'm sorry you're so miserable!

:hug: It's sounds like stepping away from the whole situation for awhile is a good option. Give yourself some time and you'll come to a decision much more easily about what you want to do with your life. I think people tend to get so wrapped up in the idea of this prescribed progression of life events that we're "supposed" to follow, that it feels all the more tragic when we fall of the path. Who's to say the well-worn path is the best one for everyone? One day you'll look back on this and it'll all be just a detour on the way to where you were meant to end up. The greatest minds and most unique people, in my experience, are also those most prone to deviate from the expected; it's not always ultimately a bad thing. Hang in there!:hi:

[WilliamPitt]

32. I took a year off from college between freshman and sophomore year

and it was the best decision I ever made.

Good luck to you.

[DemReadingDU]

33. It's alright

It's tough now, and things do take time, but you will get better. And when you feel mentally improved, you will finish college.

My daughter, who suffers from major depression, dropped in and out of college many times. She persevered, and after 6 years, she did receive her degree. It was a difficult time in my daughter's life, and she pulled thru. I have confidence that you will too.

[Oeditpus Rex]

34. What you call 'fucking up' is your brain being healthy

Err, I've got a pretty good idea of where you are right now, and I've been there. Boy, have I been there. And at the time, I, too, thought of it as "fucking up." But the human brain is wonderful about knowing when it's had enough. The real trick is having the courage to listen.

Yeah, courage — because what your brain tells you may be repugnant to you. It may sound like "quitting" or something, and that does not feel good. But it isn't "quitting." It's recovering. And you need to recover.

I'm making an educated guess that if you pressed on through the holidays and into your final semester, you may well have run into something much worse than you're going through now. It happened to me when I was 19, and it pretty much wrecked the next few years of my life.

Listen to your brain; it'll tell you how to feed it. Take time to do you — not what others expect of you, or what the darker parts of your head expect of you.

You didn't mention medications, but if you're not now taking anything, look into it. If you are, look into adjusting types and dosages. And see if there are any ADHD/PD/depression support groups near you. With a good facilitator, group can be a marvelous recovery agent.

Get well. And be well.

And PM me if you want. I really do understand, as do others here.

:pals:

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

35. Consider it an opportunity

Take advantage of your new freedom. Take a vacation. Walk on the beach. Ride a Harley across country. Throw a party. Take some Tai Chi.

Like the Doormouse said, feed your head.

:bounce:

[sundog]

36. Err

you might consider taking a semester off or even transferring schools

i felt like shit when i first started college & was doing terribly... i transferred to a new school, switched majors & ended up doing great & graduating...

don't lose sight of the final goal... take some breathing time if you need, but don't give up on it...

rethink & reorganize & you'll do ok

take care man

[EFerrari]

38. I have most of your list.

Got a handle, and was accepted to my dream college when I was ready to go there.

First things first. When you're ready, you will LOVE college. And it will love you back. :evilgrin:

:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

39. Err - be good to you

Get things under control, and when you have done that, you can check into whether the classes you have already taken can work as part of a custom major!

:hug: :loveya:

[WCGreen]

41. Hang in there.....

I quit with only two quarters to go and went back to finish about two years later....

[SmileyBoy]

42. I'm so sorry to hear this. I was at that point last year.

I am currently in my 5th year of college, and I am only at the academic level of a sophomore, because I dropped out of and failed a lot of classes. My university GPA before this year was only 2.36, so I know how it is. I almost decided to make the same decision this past summer.

Hopefully everything will work out for the best, and you get that degree.

Meantime, have a beer.:beer:

[Wapsie B]

43. Take it from a dropout,

do what you have to to make things right with yourself. Sometimes taking time off is what you need.

[BlueIris]

44. You poor thing. Take some time to relax, recenter and get healthy.

Hook yourself up with some good healthcare professionals, sort out a recovery plan that works for you, repair your mental health and move on from there.

[enigmatic]

45. Sorry man

That sucks. And no, you're not alone; if you ever need to talkj, I'm around....