Some people just should not own firearms (my neighbor is insane).

[Xithras]

I live in what most people would call a "ranchette neighborhood". It's a buffer of 1-5 acre properties that lies between a neighboring town and larger open farms. The neighborhood's become a bit snootier since the property values have shot up, but we still have our share of old fashioned rednecks.

My wonderful, friendly, lifetime NRA member neighbor is the biggest redneck of them all. He's also a rich repuke twit who considers any news other than Faux to be "liberal, communist propaganda". Still, his wife bakes us amazing pies, and his barbeque's are to die for, so we put up with him :)

Lately, Mr. Repuke has been getting all worked up about the bird flu, and how it's going to kill us all. He's got stockpiles of food, he admitted that he's been stockpiling ammo and seed, and he's convinced that HE'S the only one in the neighborhood who's going to live through it. About a week ago I laughingly pointed out to him that his 40 chickens actually made him the MOST likely person in the neighborhood to get it. That was a bad idea on my part.

He went nuts. He put up mesh screens over and around all of his chicken coops to keep the wild birds away, he's installed floodlights, fake owls, and noisemakers to scare off anything other than his own chickens (which actually do get scared, they just can't fly away). When the deterrents stopped working after a few days, he took to firing his rifle into the air to scare the birds away.

And then, about four hours ago, he escalated it even further. Apparently a bird got inside of the mesh, and he ran out with his RIFLE (not shotgun or scattergun, but his rifle...which was probably a .30 or .45) to shoot it. Just as he got to the coop, the bird got loose and tried to fly away. He tracked it and fired on it anyway...missing the bird, but hitting his own house. The bullet went in through his dining room window, barely missed his wife who was eating breakfast, and exited the other side of his house right in the middle of his 10 foot by 12 foot living room picture window. Presumably the bullet landed somewhere in the river valley behind his house, or in the farmland on the other side.

As I write this, the county sheriff deputies are giving him a stern talking to, but they probably won't arrest him since he only damaged his own property. His wife, on the other hand, is about ready to leave him :)

Ah, the joys of living in a Red county!

[kick-ass-bob]

1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I have no words.

[Xithras]

2. I have PLENTY for him when the police get finished.

He could have hit MY house or MY wife just as easily!

[seemunkee]

3. Words fail me.

:wow:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. This has to be fiction, right? Tell me you're kidding!

Infuckingcredible........What a jerk!

And dangerous to boot......

Good luck to you .........

[Xithras]

9. Nope, not kidding.

The police apparently cited him for firing his gun in an unsafe manner and left. When one of them came over to talk to my wife, he said that they'd be turning it over to the DA to see if any charges are warranted. My wife thought so, but since he fired AWAY from homes other than his own, they weren't going to arrest him because they weren't sure what charges could actually be brought. We live outside of any city limits, so firing a weapon isn't actually illegal here.

As I type this, his wife is shrieking at the top of her lungs calling him every insulting name in the book. A minute ago she was screaming at him for cursing her with an "paranoid, ignorant bastard of a husband".

By the looks of it, I won't have to say anything at all...it looks like she's already covering all of the bases :)

[BigMcLargehuge]

5. HAHAHAH!!!!

:rofl:

[Robb]

6. Great story!

It sounds so much like the police blotter in my own little town, it's not even funny! :D

[DS1]

7. Fuck 'im

Let him die tripping up while running with his shotgun

[Shell Beau]

8. There was a guy in my hometown who

was a tattoo person (what are they called?) and he was all high on something (crystal meth I think) and he got to shooting his gun in his tattoo parlor. Well there are houses nearby, and a bullet went through someone's house and killed a 9 year old boy sitting on the couch watching cartoons. The father of the kid was outside working in the yard. It was one of the saddest stories and freakiest accidents. The bullet had to travel a good ways. The guy is in jail for life. When he sobered up, he felt awful. My brother, who was a cop, said he would sit in his cell and bang his head on the wall and just scream in guilt. Really sad.

[Xithras]

10. This isn't the first time the guy has almost shot someone.

He actually has one of the larger properties in the neighborhood, with six or seven acres going down to the rivers edge. He used to do a lot of target shooting, where he'd take his targets out and hang them on his back fence. He didn't have a backstop or anything, but since his property slopes downhill toward the river, the rounds usually landed harmlessly in the water or in the dirt along the banks.

You can probably figure out what happened next. Anyone with a brain could have forseen it, but this guys a repuke, so he obviously doesn't have one. He went out shooting one day as some hikers were walking the bank of the river. One of his rounds hit a tree so close to the hiker that it actually embedded wood shrapnel into her arm.

I've never understood how he evaded charges on that one, but he never spent a day in jail for it. He did, however, push up a dirt and sand berm to catch his rounds and prevent it from happening again.

Hopefully the DA will take that incident into account when deciding whether or not to press charges against the guy. I don't even care if he goes to prison...felony probation would be fine with me because it would prevent him from owning any more guns.

[LeftyMom]

13. If she has any sense

the Mrs. should prevent him from owning any more guns.

How scary.

[RebelOne]

11. He's eligible for a Darwin Award.

[Ganja Ninja]

12. Bwahahahahah!

Rednecks is the craziest people.:rofl:

[chaska]

14. Not once but twice??? I'm dumbfounded. These people R truly, uh, special?

[Misunderestimator]

15. O M G

[gardenista]

16. Are you sure he's not very, very clever, and looking for a way to off his

wife without doing time?

Just a thought...

[ThoughtCriminal]

17. "Responsible" Gun Owners

God save us from these Elmer Fudds - ever met a gun nut who did not think he was "careful"?