How's this for an ethical dilemma?

[Writer]

I'm perplexed. Not that I'm obsessing over this; in the large picture it isn't my greatest worry. I'm just damned curious about what someone else might think of this story.

My brother-in-law's wife is petulant. 27 years-old and a bit of a narcissist. A bit hypercompetitive with me, and she and my brother-in-law are a bit competitive with my husband and I monetarily and socially.

As I said, she's a narcissist. That's what young ladies with NPD do. But I digress.

As a birthday gift, my brother-in-law decides to take her to Europe for the weekend. A nice present and exactly what she wanted.

Here's the odd and somewhat complicated part. My husband spoke to his mom on the phone during the weekend. Apparently, my brother-in-law and his wife told my mother-in-law that they were going to New York and Philadelphia, not Europe.

My husband was taken aback by this and didn't immediately correct the situation. But he found it odd. Why lie about something so small?

He made another phone call, this one to his sister. Why are they lying about this trip? The story is that they didn't want to tell their respective parents because they didn't want them to worry about recent unrest in Europe. But they've had this trip planned for a couple of months.

Perhaps that's why. But they're adults. Why not just say, "Yes, Mom, but don't worry, we are not going to places where there is unrest." Why just lie?

It's such a small thing... but then again, it so small that it seems so unnecessary. Why? This isn't the first time they've lied about something so innocuous. It does little to ruin my sleep but it's enough to ding the alarm bell in the back of my mind. It just feels creepy to me.

What do you think? Should my husband have told his mother that she was lied to? Could there be an innocent explanation for their behavior?

I'm puzzled. :shrug:

[realisticphish]

1. thing is

i can't see why there would be anything sinister about just saying you were going to europe. but i see why you're puzzled

[Heidi]

2. I don't think you have an ethical dilemma, Writer,

because _you_ weren't necessarily lied to. When I'm in a circumstance like this, I ask, "Am I going to make things better, in general, in the long term, or worse?" It's not your or your husband's responsibility to tell your MIL anything and, in fact, doing so could ignite a family feud. :shrug: