So I'm watching a terrible Steven Seagal movie

[nashbridges]

And Keenan Ivory Wayans is in it, and all I can think is:

How fucking fat can you be and still be in an action movie? I'm not overweight, but I'm not exactly movie star thin, and I'm STILL in better shape than this guy. But there's no way in hell I could pull off being a bad ass in a movie about busting a gang. NO WAY. You'd look at me and say, "Well, the unhealthy looking white guy is going to get his ass kicked."

I'd chalk it up to good acting, but he's just as bad as acting as I am.

What's the deal? I want a movie where an American husband gets to kick ass with a stunt man and sleep with women out of his league for real.

/Don't get Seagal at ALL!

[KitchenWitch]

1. Begs the question

Has Steven Seagal ever made a *GOOD* movie?

[Broken_Hero]

3. Under Siege was good...

but all of his other movies? hmm...nope, UnderSiege is it for me...

[ghostsofgiants]

2. Was the adjective "terrible" really necessary?

[Floogeldy]

4. He's a fucking communist, liberal environmentalist.

Right?

[lovelaureng]

5. I think that you are talking about the movie,

The Glimmer Man.

[edbermac]

6. What other kind is there?

Like saying "I'm watching a terrible Pauly Shore movie"

[DS1]

7. Steven Seagal says "Fuck you, I'm a fucking Puma in a previous

life, so I'm quicker than you"


*paraphrased, but the Puma bit is real

[GOPisEvil]

8. Is he fucking the puma in the same wooden style in which he runs?

:rofl:

[DS1]

9. left right left right left right left right left right left right left rig

left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right left right


running is like water, you can run all day, but pretty soon you'll shart yourself

-DS1

[GOPisEvil]

10. Ah, so, Sensei...

[vonslagle]

11. John Wayne pulled it off

He was still tough after he got real fat. Unfortunately he was a rethuglican (or at least acted like one to avoid McCarthy.)