I ask for some advice

[dorktv]

well not really advice but if my annoyance is okay.

I volunteered for someone (extensive volunteer work since I gave up lots of my free time) and paid my own way with no re-imbursment yet on all the finacial outlays that I had to give to do this volunteer work. This has been over several weeks.

The person in question told me that since I do not have a car that she would give me rides home after my work was done. Last weekend I did not have her give me a ride since someone else was with me and I had a ride this way and I told her that I did so. But this last time I did not call her in the morning about the ride because I thought it was a given since I had not told her I had another ride.

I sent her a text message and left several voice mail messages regarding this ride at around the time that I was suppose to call her when I was ready to leave. She never responded and I had to leave the place I was volunteering at early to catch a bus to go home. This was late at night and I had a very long way to go on public transportation and had I missed any of the buses I would have had a long walk home.

This morning she IMed me telling me I was not being courteous for telling her in the morning I needed a ride. Am I wrong for being annoyed at having to tell her something she should have already known by telling me oringally that I would have a ride?

[hfojvt]

1. I would find the IM very annoying

not to mention being stranded, and then scolded on top of it?
I think she is embarrassed about forgetting to give you a ride and trying to cover her own mistake.

[salin]

2. That explanation makes sense to me,

In cases such as these, right or wrong, I 'chalk it up to mixed up communication' (to the person in question) - gives a face saving way out ... and makes it more likely that the same "mistake" wouldn't recur, as the person would likely be pretty embarassed time two. However, to be safe, I think I would plan on an alternative just in case.

[dorktv]

3. Okay, thank you for your comments...I feel better now. :)

I still am annoyed but not too much.

[salin]

6. completely legit annoyance

on your part. Esp since you are giving your time, and getting some stuff for the volunteer work out of your pocket. However, if you get something positive out of the volunteer work (which I would hope is the case), then I would find a way to deal with the situation - so the next time you are there you can fully get that positive charge rather than let it be diminished by building annoyance (even though it is legit) and potential future resentment. Just my two cents.

[dorktv]

10. Oh I will continue to volunteer. The cause is more important then

my little hurt feelings. I just wanted to get it out of my system so I could feel better. Thanks for listening to my rant. :D

[skygazer]

4. I think your annoyance is merited

This person assured you that you'd have rides and it sounds like until the one time you provided your own, you did not need to give her reminders.

What puzzles me about your OP is the mention of financial reimbursment. It doesn't really seem to have anything to do with the ride issue and I don't really understand its meaning. Are you supposed to be reimbursed for your expenses? "Volunteer" tends to mean "working for free" for the most part and I'm wondering why you felt the need to mention the money aspect. Are you irritated that you're NOT getting paid or were you promised some payment?

Just trying to understand all the dynamics...

[dorktv]

7. I was just being totally honest about everything.

Does not matter in the main though I guess.

[salin]

9. my guess

would be feeling underappreciated - esp given the experience and then the chastisement... so the comment would be along the lines of.. but, hey, I even do X for the organization... Sadly this can grow to where the positive one gives out of the volunteer work can become so diminished while resentment grows (from the sense of underappreciation) that the whole thing just ends. Which is a shame. Have watched that dynamic occur - when just a little bit of demonstration for the work and time and inconvenience of the volunteer would go SOOOO far.

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. It is only polite that you would have made sure that she knew when

your other ride option was ending.

Were I in her shoes, yes, I would have been annoyed as well, and thought you were being discourteous.

[dorktv]

8. That is the thing, she knew it was a one time deal with this other person

giving me a ride because that is what I told her.

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Well, if that's the case, then she should have known.

You didn't specify that in your rather ambiguous initial post.

[dorktv]

12. I do not want to make her more mad at me but I had to talk about

it so I could stop feeling so bad. So I tried to make sure it could not be obvious what I have been doing or who for, or whatever...this way she can not find out what I am saying and I can avoid making her mad about that and not say something that would make her mad about what I just said if that makes sense.

Basically I want to avoid hurting her feelings and make me feel better in a way that will do that.