Post your best (or worst) pick-up lines here....

[kmla]

Ones that have either been used on you, or that you have used.

Didn't even need to be a successful one...

But do share. We all could use a giggle or two.

[taterguy]

1. Best or worst? You decide

You don't know me but you look like the kind of person that my therapist said I should interact with

[Fox Mulder]

2. "I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand."

...

[XemaSab]

3. You like necking?

n/t

[eyesroll]

4. "My twin brother and I think you're hot you wanna play? Luv, Tina!"

OK, so it was spam...but still...:scared:

[nashbridges]

5. Worst I've ever heard:

"You're so hot I would drink your bathwater."

Oddly enough, it didn't work for the guy.

[atomic-fly]

6. Hey you foxy sluts!

Got a smile.

[no name no slogan]

7. Hey baby, what's your sign? I hope it's "yield"

...or the ever-classic "as long as I got a face, you got a place to sit"
:hide:

[kwassa]

8. "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

made her laugh, but it didn't work.

[Truebrit71sbruv]

9. "Fetch yer coat love, you've pulled..."

... and well bugger me if it didn't work...

:evilgrin:

[Loonman]

10. May I insert my penis into your vagina?

No, I've never said that, but I would laugh if I ever did. Before the drink hit me in the face, that is.

[Oeditpus Rex]

11. Do pick-up lines *ever* work?

And who'd want to go out with someone on whom one did? :shrug:

[Deep13]

12. This is how my divorced father met his 2nd wife.

At a nightclub, he walked up to her and said that she was the only one in there with any class, and then he left for the evening. The next week he picked her up.

[skoppa]

13. Go up to a someone at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck...

(wait and see reaction)....ing drink!!

[edbermac]

14. Would you care to exchange bodily fluids?

That was my best; I'm to embarrassed to say my worst...:blush:

[Richardo]

16. Don't be embarrased to say it's your worst...

Be embarrased to say it's your BEST. :eyes:

[mac56]

15. "C'mon, lower your standards! I did."

nm

[anarch]

17. "How you doin'?"

works every time.

[yellowcanine]

18. I actually heard a guy use this one. "Do you like boats?" It was on a

dinner cruise and the guy was about 55 years old with a pot gut and the girl was a 17 year old French exchange student we were hosting. My wife rescued her from the old lech.

[Patiod]

19. Do you play basketball?

I am the Cyrano de Bergerac of tall girls - there is no "tall joke" or smartass height comment that will remain unanswered.

I just looked at the guy, who had warned all his stockbroker buddies that he was going to do this, and said "no, honey, are you a jockey?"

You know how much men love to see their friends embarrassed, so this reply was a big hit.

I don't usually make a policy of humiliating men -- only when they are clearly trying to humiliate or embarrass me loudly and in front of others!

[skygazer]

40. You must hear the other one, too, all the time

"How's the weather up there?"

Do these people think they're original? I'm not tall but I've heard both of those so many times directed at tall people I know.

I used to work in the produce department of my grocery store and I needed to carry a knife. Rather than a regular vegetable knife, I carried a Buck knife with a six inch blade and a black leather sheath. It hung on my apron string in the middle of my back.

Every day, at least 287 times a day, I heard (always from a man) the comment, in a bad Australian accent, "Now, THAT's a knife!"

People are so predictable.

[antigone382]

20. "How do you like your eggs: boiled, scrambled, or fertilized?"

Yeah, OK, it would work better if I was a guy...but I don't care, I still love that pick-up line.

[maveric]

21. "Wasnt that you in that Thighmaster commercial?"

That one could go either way depending on what part of the country you live in.

[BigMcLargehuge]

22. Nice dress!

It'll look great crumpled up at the foot of my bed.

[Lisa]

23. Come home with me! I need your weight on these icy roads! (n/t)

[liberalitch]

24. For breakfast... shall I call you or nudge you?

I handed him a wine cooler bottle my roommate had partially thrown up in.

[VelmaD]

25. I heard a really good one...

at Democracy Fest back this summer. I was at a panel on defeating Tom DeLay. Someone brought up the DeLay quote where he said, "I am the federal government". The guy sitting next to me turned and said, "If Tom DeLay is the federal government...can we get Grover Norquist to drown him in a bathtub?"

It worked. I was smitten. :)

[nemo137]

26. I keep debating making flyers

to hand out at shows and coffeeshops and suchlike, with radom phrases and my phone number:

"Like boys who are smarter than bricks? Call Matt @ ..."
"Like a teddy bear, but with extra benefits. Matt ..."
"I cook, I clean, I do laundry, and I'm better in bed than a frat boy. call Matt @ ..."

[northamericancitizen]

28. 3 AM the bar just closed. On the sidewalk people still trying to

to hit the yielding one...

"So are coming with me?"

"Why should I?"

"I'M YOUR LAST CHANCE"

"Is that so?"

"Yep. For tonight anyway. Look around. Almost nobody left around here."

He had the most incredible green eyes I ever saw.

[mwooldri]

27. "Do I come here often?"

I always found it amusing when Terry Wogan from BBC Radio 2 used it. I suppose it could be used as a pick up line.

[Truebrit71sbruv]

35. ~chuckling~

Actually, that's a doozy... I'll have to try it sometime...

[Scoots]

29. Disgusting alert --

I have actually heard this one. My friend turned to the girl at the next table and said, "So, do you take it in the ass?"

The scary thing is it actually worked!!

My guess is that he said it with such confidence and charm that she would have gone home with him no matter what he said. It's also possible that the music was so loud she didn't clearly hear what he said.

Then again, maybe she was just a slut.

[WeRQ4U]

30. Nice socks.........wanna hump?

Never works, except to get a laugh.....or a drink in your face. One of the other.

[Lethe]

31. "Hey you look familiar. Do I know you? Did you go to Westwood High?"

does it really matter what you say anyway?

[Scoots]

32. No, I went there sober..... (rumor has it this is Bad Pun Day)

[tigersumtin]

33. were do you dance?

[Jed Dilligan]

34. Excuse me, you've probably heard every pickup line there is...

But I just wanted you to know, John Wayne once played My Penis in a major motion picture.

[In_The_Wind]

36. I could use a little help ...

would you mind ...

[TreasonousBastard]

37. I do not use pickup lines...

I just sit in the corner licking my forehead.

[Guava Jelly]

38. from a garbage lyric

You look so fine I want to break your heart and give you mine

[Oeditpus Rex]

39. Heard a comedian say this one years ago

He picked out this stunning woman in the front row, knelt on the stage and said, "What is it that you do when you're not bringing strong men to their knees?"

[A HERETIC I AM]

41. "I've noticed something about you that you might not be aware of......

You seem to be suffering from an affliction that most doctors refer to as (pregnant pause here as she begins to look concerned) Perfect ass syndrome" I've never had less than a smile from that and usually a blush and a sweet "thank you". Follow it up with "You might want to get that looked at. I'd be happy to."

I know, I know, the last bit is a stretch, but it usually makes em laugh.

[SeattleGirl]

42. "As long as I have a face, you have a place to sit"

:puke:

On edit, that line was used on ME, I didn't use it on someone else!

[HEyHEY]

43. Wanna get a pizza and fuck?

What, you don't like pizza?

[PowerToThePeople]

44. I stick with, "Hey honey, put down that pipe and get my pipe up."

n/t

[SeattleGirl]

45. Hey, who let O'Reilly in here?

:rofl:

[PowerToThePeople]

46. Hi SeattleGirl.

:hi:

We vote Tuesday.

Down with insurance bill,
Down with smoking ban,
Down with gas taxes..

[SeattleGirl]

47. Howdy!!!

I gotta get my ballot filled out (I vote by mail). :hi:

[ghostsofgiants]

48. My best...

"Hi, I'm Jonathan..."

My worst...

"Hi, I'm Jonathan."

[lakemonster11]

49. Once in college, one of my male friends came over - I was studying

He sat down next to me on the couch, pulled this jar of pomade/gel out of his backpack, and talked me through the apparently quite complex process of gelling his hair so that it looked right.

Then he did the (yawn-style) arm-around-the-shoulders thing and said, "So...now that you've seen me do my hair..." and started leaning towards me suggestively.

[-..__...]

50. How "worst" do you want to get?

I'd eat a mile of your shit just to sniff your asshole.


Sorry... but you asked.

[Deja Q]

51. "Do you believe in the hereafter? Then you know what I'm here after!"

:wow: