You may now enter the DU Lounge confessional where no one will absolve

[JimmyJazz]

you of your sins. However, we will take notes.




I, JimmyJazz, have sinned three times. I tried to pass myself off as a newbie who is unable to start threads in order to gain sympathy from others. I lied and said I was in the 700 club in a lame attempt to get Rabrrrrrr to like me (but, in defense of that sin - HE STARTED IT) and I told someone who posted their 1,000th post to me that they are now my slave.

Overall, it's been a pretty good night. :)


Next.

[RevCheesehead]

1. HEY! This is MY side of the street!

But, go ahead.. this should be amusing. :popcorn:

[JimmyJazz]

3. I did. I confessed. It's YOUR turn.

BTW - I'm not Catholic...does that little light at the top come on when you've told a really juicy story? :P

[RevCheesehead]

5. Nah - that's when the priest wets himself.

:shrug: How the hell would I know? I'm Methodist!

[khashka]

2. I would, but

Frankly I can't compete. You are much more sinful than me.

All I did was tease Shari today.

I bow before your superior evilness.

Khash.

[JimmyJazz]

4. Piffle. I tease Shari everyday.

Amateur. :P

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

6. I had naughty thoughts

about you, myself, and Lenny Kravitz in the shower together :blush:

[JimmyJazz]

7. I know. I was there. Remember?

All My Love,

another DUer :P

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

8. Well I didn't want to call you out

but you did that fine yourself :hug:

ill fix my first post :P

[khashka]

10. So did I

and I'm brazen enough to name names - it was me, Heidi and Lenny.

But I didn't realize that was a sin....

Khash.

[JimmyJazz]

11. Lenny must be getting a teensy bit winded at this point.

If he's doing it right, that is :evilgrin:

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

17. damnit!

why am I never part of your fantasies Khashka? :cry:

[khashka]

21. I am so sorry

I will go and fantasize about you now.

But the overtime is killing me - every time I say I'm gay another woman throws herself at my feet. It's a job of work and I barely have time for men anymore.

Khash.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

24. LMFAO!

pooor kashka :hug:

it seems you need some real loving :evilgrin:

[southlandshari]

46. ROTFLMAO!!!!

Guilty as charged.

:rofl:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

55. Well, you got that right, my dear Khash!

:evilgrin:

[Heidi]

65. I wasn't throwing myself at your _feet_.

My aim is poor, I'll admit. :evilgrin:

[southlandshari]

74. Oh my!!!!

Why didn't I think of that reply?

:rofl:

Missed you last night!

:hug:

[Heidi]

76. :-*

I'm not normally so clever, but khash brings out the so-called "best" in me. :rofl:

Missed you, too, gf, and I'll be back at the regular time, your night/my morning. Right now, I gotta go make beef stroghanoff for Call Me Wesley (that's Mr. Heidi's new DU username) and The Wiley and Excellent Cat Named Ginger.

:loveya: :*

[In_The_Wind]

9. team work ...

BTW ~ enjoy your slave :thumbsup:


BTW ~ part deux ~ I got nothin' to confess ...
I'm innocent I tell ya ...

[JimmyJazz]

12. *cough* Bull...shit *cough*

:)

[In_The_Wind]

14. *giggle*

[philosophie_en_rose]

13. Forgive me JimmyJazz, for I love the Brazillian joke.

I laugh at every duplicate thread, encourage its posting, and have spread the joke far and wide.

:)

[JimmyJazz]

18. I can't forgive you! I'm not Catholic, ordained or male!

But, I will taunt you with really lame jokes from now on. (remember, I am taking notes) :)

[flvegan]

15. DU Lounge Confessional...I have many sins to confess

First, I have flirted. Shamelessly. With many. I seek to be absolved, and to learn. Thence I seek to go forth to flirt again.

Second, I have mocked. Shamelessly. Many. I seek to be absolved and forgiven.

Third, I have forsaken a friend, here. A friend of great value that has distanced themself from me. Today. It's my fault. I look for forgiveness, from you, and that friend.

Fourth, I have kneeled at the altar of "hand your ass to you" sacrifice. I have indeed, handed the ass of an individual (or two, or three...) back to them. I know of what I do, but they pissed me off.

Fifth, I continue to laugh in the face of men that are anti-choice. I know it's mean...I can't help it. Even if forgiven, I will continue to do so.

Sixth, I'm drinking a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale RIGHT NOW. Yes, I suck from the alcoholic teat of the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company. I deserve a beating, I'm sure.

Seventh, today, at the gym, there was this very, um, attractive girl. A succubus in spandex, I assure you. In my mind, I might have sinned. I'm not positive, but I think I might have. Just want to get it all out there.

Have mercy...please.

[JimmyJazz]

16. Well that's just ick on a stick.

Is there a spork for the mind's eye? :P

Besides, as I stated in my OP, absolution is not being offered. All we're doing here is taking notes. Thank you. That was a bit on the juicy side! Everything you said has been duly noted :7

[southlandshari]

47. Come on now, darlin'....

He seems sincere. I think you should give him absolution. I took notes on that one - you can copy them during recess.

;)

[XemaSab]

53. You have tempted me to sin!!!!!!

:cry:

This weekend I was planning to go to Chico to go to the native plant nursery, and JUST the plant nursery, but you had to go and remind me that the brewery is there too!

I have lusted in my heart for pale ale!!!! :(

[flvegan]

56. Well, shit...

Leading XemaSab to sin is just one more feather in my Helmet de la Satan...

I lusted for Pale Ale too, but then, I finished them...

[XemaSab]

79. I have fallen!

:cry:

I am drinking Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and it's not even NOON yet!

:cry:

[yvr girl]

19. I assaulted a lamp post in Cambridge

but other than that, my record is clean.

[JimmyJazz]

20. I thought you had a conversation with the lamp post and

assaulted a woman :shrug: Damn. I didn't take very good notes that weekend. I wonder why? :P

[yvr girl]

22. I forgot about the woman

oops.

I assaulted something or someone in Cambridge. How's that.

[JimmyJazz]

23. You also forgot about sitting on the brownies.

I ate a brownie with a yivver right cheek ass impression on it. And, it was GOOD :9

[yvr girl]

26. That was not my fault

Bettyellen put them UNDER the cushion of the chair - which turned out to be my bed, if you remember correctly.

[JimmyJazz]

29. You do realize you are blaming the butt impression on

the woman to whom I am affianced? But, that's okay. I know she's guilty as hell. :)

[yvr girl]

32. Damn, her. Trying to keep us from eating ALL the brownies.

When's the big day? You can come up here to get hitched - it's legal and all.

[bettyellen]

40. yeah, it wasn't supposed to go down that way.....

but they were good squished. your ass added something.

[crispini]

25. I made several snotty remarks on threads in GD tonight.

In my defense, GD appears to have gone off its collective nut. I don't know what on earth is going on over there! :eyes:

[RevCheesehead]

27. May I butt in here?

That, my dear, is doing the work of the gospel of DU.
"We don't take shit from anyone."

[crispini]

31. Howdy Rev!

It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas!

I just wonder how much notice he has to give when he's going to hold a press conference. I need to know when to drop everything and turn on the TV. :D

[RevCheesehead]

Just to be safe, maybe you should call in sick the rest of the week.

I guess some are predicting Friday, but I don't know. This is too big to qualify as a "News Dump."

Keep up with the snark - we need more snark in the world. :)

[JimmyJazz]

28. Snotty remarks in GD are expected. Please - I'm sure you

can do better than that! Did you slap a n00b down? Tell someone to do their own research? Call someone a troll? If not...well: :boring:












:P

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

30. LOL nt

[crispini]

33. Hee! Just a little eyerolling.

I just hate to contribute to the lowering of the discourse. :D

[JimmyJazz]

35. You are NOTHING until you have

flaunted your post count in someone's face :o

[LeftyMom]

34. I corrupt innocent DUers

Yeah, I didn't know there was such a thing, either.

For some reason threads I post on turn to certain off-color subjects. Well, variations on one off-color subject (sex, porn, sex outdoors, sex involving soy ice cream... you get the idea.) Since DU surely isn't a den of sexually frustrated perverts (yeah right) I assume this must be my evil doing.

I don't want forgiveness.










I want applause. And more ice cream. :evilgrin:

[JimmyJazz]

36. Um....Are you trying to get my thread locked?

And if so, how exactly does that work? Do you alert on yourself? Inquiring minds want to know :D

And....mint chocolate chip or chubby hubby?

[LeftyMom]

37. I probably should alert on myself

but then Shari will laugh at me again. :cry:

Mint chip is good but I like the kind with little oreo-like bits in it.

[JimmyJazz]

38. I'm a cookie dough kinda gal myself

but I digress. :)

[LeftyMom]

39. I don't think I've ever seen veg cookie dough ice cream

Should such a thing exist, I will gain a great deal of weight when I discover it. :D

[BlueIris]

41. I've killed dozens of threads. DOZENS. nt

[JimmyJazz]

42. NO WAY? FER REAL????? NU-UH!

[shugah]

43. that is a really impressive confessional!

except... is that a bald headed priest sitting in there? and does that red thing at the top light up when the confessional is occupied?

okay, my DU confession - often, when reading DU i type really sarcastic responses to any number of posts - and then i delete them without posting.

[JimmyJazz]

44. Okay. Here's the truth.

The red light is kinda like the red light on Ultra Man. When it starts to blink, the confessional is losing power and can't absolve sins as quickly as it once did. So talk fast. Otherwise, it's hell in a handbasket for you, baby.

And your DU confession: :boring: We ALL do that! Some of us even delete them ten seconds after posting becaus we've reconsidered. Now, go into GD and start the following thread: "Christmas comes once a year, Fitzmas ain't comin' at all - Rove and Company are going to be completely exhonerated." THEN come back here and confess! :evilgrin:

[shugah]

45. lol!

ULTRA MAN!! woo-hooo! i didn't know anyone else ever heard of that cool super hero! ;-) keeping the world world safe from the evil goudis!

as to your comment about my "boring" confession - you haven't seen the things i've never posted ;-)

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

91. I'm in love with Bill O'Reilly. It's his big forehead. I can't help it.

[ToolTex]

48. OK, I'm a newbie so be gentle.

Does sport porking require absolution here?

How about wanting to have Fitz baby?

How about just lusting in my mind for Fitz, (not for procreation)?

Do I get merits or demerits for doing it with whomever is in the confessional?

Does the score double when the red light is on?

[AwakeAtLast]

49. I outed a covert sex thread.

but if a grand jury asks me about it, I will not confess. You keep secrets, right? ;)

[TimeChaser]

50. I must confess

... I have sinful thoughts...

...a lot... :evilgrin:

[Meatwad]

51. I don't need absolution...

for I am perfect.

:)

[southlandshari]

52. I haven't sinned

with anyone but you. And that was in private. Do I have to give details in order to seek the absolution that will not come from this silly thread?

:P

[JimmyJazz]

62. I got your absolution right here!

:loveya: :loveya: :loveya:

I have no idea what that means, btw - but, to me, it sounded good :7

[southlandshari]

63. You know you can absolve me anytime, darlin'.

But you also know I don't do that kind of thing in public!

:P

[JimmyJazz]

66. Well then, you don't know what you are missing!

*yikes* :o

[southlandshari]

68. You mean there is more?

Than what I already...we already...

:wow:


Ok then. Come on over and let me kneel at your alter, darlin'. Right here in this confessional thread in the Lounge. Probably good to have witnesses to my absolution anyway!

:evilgrin:

[JimmyJazz]

69. ALERT! ALERT! SEX THREAD! CALL THE MOD SQUAD!

for some group fun :P

[southlandshari]

72. Mod squad at your service!

Where's the sex thread, ma'am?

Aw heck. This thing? This is nothing.

If it gets any naughtier, no need to call us again.

Just get a room.

:P

[MrScorpio]

54. Yeah, I did it

That's all you're gonna get outta me

[La Lioness Priyanka]

57. i wrote a few scathing emails to an asshole

[NMMNG]

58. I have sinned, and enjoyed it

I went on vacation a couple of weeks ago. I drank every night. I sang karaoke--poorly. I kissed a woman barely an hour after I met her. A few nights later I kissed another woman a minute after I met her. Then I bought a corset and wore it to a dance club, with my blouse unbuttoned nearly to the bottom. And when the club played the dance version of "Personal Jesus" I did a naughty dance to it. :evilgrin:

[JimmyJazz]

60. .................

note to self: post picture of confessional more often due to educational factor!

[NMMNG]

92. Hey, I don't normally act like that

(yeah, I know you hear that all the time but it's true!).

I work 7 days a week, and lead a very dull life. I sort of went wild when I went up there for Womens' Week.

The last time I kissed anyone was about ten years ago and it was someone I really liked--I've never kissed a total stranger before (let alone two).

The corset was my first ever piece of sexy lingere, and certainly the first time I've ever let my undergarments be seen in public.

OK, I'll admit that at times when I get to drinking and in the mood I have a tendency towards "dirty dancing", but other than that I'm very boring.

[KitchenWitch]

59. Yesterday, I told flvegan and LeftyMom to get a room

Which started a shitstorm of posts between them and also hooked southlandshari and GOPisEvil up.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

61. Aren't we ALL your slaves?

:shrug: Hey, don't tell me you tricked me too!! :grr:

[JimmyJazz]

67. Ha ha ha ha!

Works every time :evilgrin:

[billyskank]

64. I thought an unworthy thought

concerning you. Oh no, I just did it again. :hide:

[southlandshari]

70. The only way that is a sin

Is if you are not having thoughts about JimmyJazz and southlandshari - simultaneous thoughts.

:evilgrin:

[billyskank]

71. Not to do so would be impossible

It is most distracting when I am at work! :loveya:

[no name no slogan]

73. I once had a sexy thought

about the Bush twins. But a shot of penicillin seemed to clear that up pretty well.

[RedCloud]

75. Sorry for my "confession" here in your confessional

but the bathroom was locked!

[atomic-fly]

77. I was born a Catholic, but have never been to a confessional.

They always swat me away.

[LaraMN]

78. I spent excessive dollars on a costume not intended for Halloween,

and "scared" my husband in it.:rofl:

[LSK]

80. i have used the word Fitzmas

please forgive me!

[Taverner]

81. I perform unnatural acts with other people's sock puppets

[Lilith Velkor]

82. You mean that's a confessional and not a toilet?

Ooops :blush:

[billyskank]

83. I'm sure it happens all the time

:D

[Lilith Velkor]

85. Is it a sin?

:yoiks:

[billyskank]

86. Depends on what which one you do

:hi:

[Lilith Velkor]

87. The second one.

Poop!

[RetroLounge]

84. Luckily, I am pure as the driven wisconsin snow

and have nothing to confess.

Wanna help me out with that?

:shrug:

RL

[JimmyJazz]

88. I have PROOF that Wisconsin snow is not the pure!

Nice gallery pic, Retro! ;)

[merh]

89. Bless me father for I have sinned, it has been.......

Hold on - wait just a dadgum minute -- that isn't fair -- messing with recovering Catholics that way. x(

















Nothing to confess, nothing to tell. :freak:

[ghostsofgiants]

90. I have nothing to confess...

Not even a witty joke confession. :cry: