Breaking: White House aide announces presidential run

[auburngrad82]

Assistant to the White House cafeteria lady James Wanabe announced this morning that he is throwing his chef's hat into the presidential arena.

Wanabe, a registered Republican, says his decision to run is based on the fact that "all the other guys are under investigation or indictment." The outspoken Wanabe said that he had hoped that Bill Frist would run, but his hopes faded when Frist became involved in "that stock thing." Then Delay was indicted, Hastart was under investigation for ties to Turkey, Rove, Libby and Cheney are "leaking like a soaker hose" and Jeb Bush "is poisoned because his name is Bush."

Asked who his running mate will be, Wanabe said it is going to be a waiting game. "Virtually everyone in the GOP has ties to DeLay or Jeff Gannon, or else Karl Rove has dirt on them. I might ask Bill in the mail room. He's an Independent but he's voted GOP in the past."

"You can't be too picky," says Wanabe.