Spam: the canned meat, not the email

[KitchenWitch]

[purr]

1. eww

just as repulsive as guacamole imo.

[Oeditpus Rex]

2. 'Shh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your Spam. I love it!'

"I'm having Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, Spam and Spam!"

[KitchenWitch]

3. I was hoping for Monty Python moment!

:hi:

[Oeditpus Rex]

5. And you know I'm incapable of resisting

:hi:

[Gormy Cuss]

4. It should be illegal in the continental U.S.

I wouldn't take it away from the Hawaiians however.
:silly:

[KitchenWitch]

6. There is a recipe I use Spam in

otherwise I leave it alone.

[Gormy Cuss]

7. OK, we'll have the HazMat team ship it to you from HI.

:P

[kwassa]

8. Hawaiian Spam Recipes, Spam Fried Rice and Spam Tempura

http://www.alohajoe.com/joefood.htm

SPAM FRIED RICE
(or what to do with leftover rice)

If you're into cooking your SPAM, this one is for you.
4 cups leftover rice
1 1/2 cup SPAM, diced
1 egg
1 TBS. Shoyu (soy sauce)
3 stalks green onion, chopped
<><>
Fry SPAM in a small quantity of oil in skillet.

Lower heat and add rice. Mix egg and soy sauce and add to skillet. Stir everything around just like they do in Chinese restaurants. Just before serving add green onions.


SPAM TEMPURA

1 can SPAM (cut into 8 slices)
2 Eggs (beaten)
1 cup Flour
1 cup PANKO
<Japanese Breadcrumbs - found the in Asian of supermarkets>

Put slice of Spam in flour mixture, then dip in egg wash,
then in Panko,
fry until golden brown. Ono, (delicious) with rice, poi, whatever...

[kwassa]

9. Spam Musubi!

http://www.alohajoe.com/joefood.htm

Lea's Halau Style - SPAM MUSUBI

3 1/2 cup uncooked rice - steamed
1 can Spam cut into 10 slices
1/3/ cup sugar
1/3 cup shoyu (soy sauce)
1 tsp. rice vinegar
5 sheets sushi nori (seaweed)
Furikake Nori
<>
Use either bamboo sushi mat or musubi mold
(small mold, cut nori in half - large mold, use whole nori sheet)
<>
Fry Spam until light brown and remove from pan.
Heat sugar, shoyu and rice vinegar until sugar is dissolved then return Spam to pan, cooking for 1 minute.
<>
Using Musubi mold:
Place nori on flat surface and center mold on top of nori
Place rice in mold and press down (rice should be 1/2" thick)
Sprinkle Furikake Nori over rice
Place seasoned Spam on rice
Add another 1/2" of rice on top of Spam and press down
Lift mold off then wrap nori around the rice
Turn musubi over placing on fold allowing the nori to seal
Slice & Enjoy!

[Oeditpus Rex]

10. I invented a Spam omelet

Send me lots and lots of money or I'll post the recipe.

:evilgrin:

[jmowreader]

16. So it's YOU!!! YOU!!! YOU!!!

YOU were the fucking mess sergeant at Teufelsberg!

Sorry ass motherfucker.

Actually, I don't think Oeditpus Rex was the T-berg mess sergeant because no one--NO ONE--would admit to being that. But while O.R. claims to have invented a Spam omelet, the fucking T-berg mess sergeant actually did it. I still shudder.

Let me tell you about some of the atrocities this SOB perpetrated on the innocent soldiers of Field Station Berlin...

* Potato Soup. Oh, this was special potato soup. This motherfucker boiled up a pot of water, then added cooking oil and dehydrated mashed potatoes. That's it. Just cooking oil and dehydrated mashed potatoes. It was as good as it sounds.

* Fresh Fruit on the Salad Bar. We kept bitching about there being no fresh fruit on the salad bar, so he put some out there. Raw cranberries. Jeeze, top, couldn't you at least have thrown a few lemons or persimmons out there?

* The Spam Omelet. The warehouse the mess halls bought their food from found fifteen hundred pounds of spam at the back of the building. No one was buying it, it was coming up on its expiration date (apparently the shit does expire, although I can't see how), and they had to get rid of it somehow. Most of us would have just taken the crap to Wuensdorf, written "This is meat. It is a goodwill gift from the United States Army" on the cans, and left it in front of Group of Soviet Forces Germany headquarters. Those poor fuckers would have eaten it with great relish. (Okay, they probably would have declared war on the Berlin Brigade right after they were done with the spam. That's beside the point.) But nooooooo...they gave it to the field station and we had to eat the shit in one month before it expired. For the next thirty days, the only meat dishes they were serving had spam in them. And yes, there were spam omelets. In fact, you could have two spam omelets, a triple serving of fried spam, a serving of baked spam, a spam sandwich to take back to your position...the spam omelet probably would have been acceptable if they would have used something besides raw spam in the things.

* Rare bacon. Bacon is supposed to be crispy and hot. Bacon is not supposed to be cold and foldable. That's how they served the shit. Or, that's how they served it until Scott Bradshaw got a piece of foldable bacon on Friday night, took a complaint form, wrote "Enough said!" on the complaint form, signed it, folded the bacon into the complaint form, and dropped it into the suggestion box. This was in July and the air conditioner didn't work. You can well imagine what the mess hall smelled like on Monday morning when the mess sergeant got there to unlock the complaint box.

* Creative signage. They gave the mess sergeant a copy of "Print Shop" when they issued him his Wang. He used Print Shop to make little table tents. One described the difference between butter pats and margarine pats then said "Always Choose the Margarine." Well...maybe I would have, except that margarine wasn't stocked by that warehouse in the entire history of the Berlin Brigade.

There are others, but you get the idea.

[Oeditpus Rex]

18. I am not now, nor have I ever been

a member of the United States Army Mess Corps.

I just like Spam. :bounce:

[Kellanved]

20. Sounds like he got his recipes straight from the NVA

Which of course is entirely possible :evilgrin:



Thank you!

[Xithras]

11. Mmmmm....I love Swiss Spamwiches!

I don't get the arguments against Spam...it's really nothing more than the pork version of bologna! Spam sandwiches, Spam and eggs, Spam and pasta...perhaps it's an aquired taste, but I grew up poor and we ate the stuff regularly as a result. I love Spam!


Oh SPAM! Oh SPAM! Gourmet delight!
My food by day, my dreams by night.
To carve, to slice, to dice you up -
pureed in a blender and sipped from a cup.

What shining deity from Olympus knelt
down to the earth and hog butt smelt?
Creating then man's eternal desire
for swine entrails congealed by fire.

On some corporate farm, a pig has died.
Eyes, tongue, and snout end up inside
that cube of SPAM hidden in the can
I now hold in my trembling hand.

More than mere food, SPAM is for me
a hedonistic expression of gluttonous glee.
Mottled with pork fat, the pink cube engrosses.
My mouth takes it in, my intestine disposes.

Long have my arteries clogged to the sound
of sizzling SPAM when there's no one around -
furtively chewing or swallowing whole.
Triple bypass by forty, my medical goal.

Other processed meat products I've tried or declined
Vienna Sausages, Treet, even pig's feet in brine.
Though each may be tasty in different ways,
none matches SPAM for gelatinous glaze.

That glistening pinkness beckons me
with gristle, fat, and BHT.
Oh SPAM, my SPAM - the taste, the smell!
The sacred meat product, from Hormel.

[kwassa]

12. Green Eggs and Spam

http://www.tattered.com/spam.htm

Green Eggs and Spam From: CouponNet
Ingredients -
6 eggs 8 oz favorite green chili 1 tin Spam few pats of butter
Directions -

Heat butter-coated fry pan, float eggs in pool of simmering butter. In a separate pan heat 1/4" slices of Spam. Warm green chili in a small sauce pan. Cook all until desired golden fryer brown is achieved. Line Spam slices on plates, with an egg on each slice, then cover with chili. Serve with hot beverage of choice and give thanks to Dr. Seuss.
Spam Then And Chow From: The Nevada State Fair

[kwassa]

13. Frozen Spam Push-Ups (this web site has hilarious Spam recipes)

http://www.tattered.com/spam.htm

Frozen SPAM push-ups From: Yeeeow

Ingredients:

One can SPAM; Grape Juice; 6 Popsicle sticks; 6 toilet paper tubes; One candle; Wax Paper; Mini marshmallows

Preparation: Line cookie sheet with wax paper. Melt candle wax onto inside of TP tubes to coat, place vertically on wax paper, let cool. Frappe SPAM and grape juice in processor, mix well. Add mini marshmallows to taste. Pour mixture into tubes, filling 2/3 full. Insert Popsicle stick. Freeze and enjoy!!! (Perfect for weddings and baby showers- juice may be changed to fit color theme)

[PittPoliSci]

14. spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam

Lovely spam!

[BigMcLargehuge]

15. I like it

one of the things my dad always made as a quick lunch. Spam and eggs, Spam sandwiches, Spam hash.

[Shell Beau]

17. Ham in a can is not for me!!

Eeewww! :puke:

[matcom]

19. but its not REALLY 'ham'

;)

my mom used to give us SPAM and cream cheese sammy's for lunch. wasn't bad then (not so sure about now - afraid to try it) :scared:

[Shell Beau]

21. Spam and cream cheese?

You can add enough cream cheese to anything and make it taste good, or so I thought! Never heard of it on Spam before. Sounds like something my mom would've concocted.