I lost my job today

[undeterred]

Actually I left on Monday after a terrible day and wasn't sure I would ever go back. I've been emailing in sick, and this morning they fired me. I found out when I couldn't get into my email account.

I called the Manager of my department in New York, and he said, yes he had no choice because the people in my office were really upset. I am the only IT person at a company in Madison which has grown from 100-170 people during the time I have been there. I made a mistake on Monday that had ramifications and during the whole six hours I was trying to fix it, people were yelling and blaming me. I am a level two person but I have been in a situation where I had responsibilities of a manager. There was no one there to support me at all. When I left I felt suicidal.

During the past few months I have been working 10-11 hours a day, often without taking a lunch break, and working weekends. The job was way too much for one person. The business manager in my office refused to acknowledge that I reported to the IT department which is in the corporate HQ in New York. This was fundamentally a no win situation from the get-go. The business manager is a dominating, arrogant, asshole with narcissistic personality and my gut reaction to him has always been pure nausea.

Still, it was the first permanent job I had in 52 months. It was a way out of the financial nightmare I've been in. I have no job to go to and I don't know if I will be able to collect unemployment. Still checking on that.

I feel like a total loser and a horrible failure.

[caty]

1. I don't see why

you couldn't get unemployment. You certainly worked there long enough. As far as the job goes---if it caused you that much stress, you are probably better off. You have been given an opportunity to find a job that you might actually enjoy and feel good about without feeling beaten down at the end of the day. Good luck in your search for a new job.:hug:

[miss_kitty]

2. um-they set you up to fail

please don't feel bad. It sounds as if it was AT LEAST a 2 person job. and what are they going to do now with no one?

Some people are so stupid-these idiots found out what false economy is-and it sounds as if they don't know it-they saved a penny and ended up spending a pound.

Do not feel as though this is your fault. They gave you no support.

[Shell Beau]

3. Aw, I am so sorry!

:hug: Hang in there, things will turn around!

[Lethe]

4. sorry to hear it

good luck with your job search

[meganmonkey]

5. I'm so sorry

:hug:

I hope you figure things out soon.

[bertha katzenengel]

6. Get a lawyer, undeterred.

If you can't afford one, look on findlaw.com under "pro bono." Someone who can HELP you will be very interested in your story. I wish I could help.

Best wishes - keep us posted, please.

[RebelOne]

7. In most states, you can always collect unemployment

if you are fired or laid off. But not if you quit.

[Sanity Claws]

8. So sorry to hear

When you're ready, maybe you should try for some temp jobs so you know what a place is like before you commit to it.
Bummer.

[JimmyJazz]

9. I'm so sorry.

You are not a loser or a failure. Please don't believe that. :hug:

[rbnyc]

10. You deserve to have a job that makes you happy!

You don't need a job that makes you feel like killing yourself. I know the job market is tight, but you have to believe that this job has simply been cleared away to make room for something better.

You are not a loser!

It's natural to feel bad about what happened, but let those feelings go as soon as you can. There IS something better waiting for you.

Best of luck!

:loveya:

[undeterred]

11. thank you

When I talked to the manager he said he was looking into the HR part of it. I don't want it to be job abandonment. By Monday night I had been taking meds for daily migraines for a week, I had not been sleeping well, I was anxious and depressed, and I felt like if I didn't start taking care of myself the job would devour me.

Although the managers in NY were sort of sympathetic, they never did anything to really help change the situation except tell me to "hang in there".

I don't want this job at all. I think about it morning, noon, and all night long. I am so overwhelmed by the responsibilities that I can't sleep. It wasn't supposed to be this big a job, but because I was the only one there, it was a huge job.

I don't want this job. Its not worth fighting for something that is destroying you.

I feel like shit.

I will find something else.

But I feel like shit that I couldn't make this work.

[Love Bug]

13. Honey, don't beat yourself up

One person can only do so much and it sounds like you were burnt out with long days and no time off. They set you up to fail, so don't blame yourself. It is typical of management to not give a shit what effect a job has on an employee as long as the job gets done.

Of course, they'll have to hire 2 people to replace you and they will realize they should have hired someone to help you, but don't ever expect to hear that from them.

There are other jobs out there that won't kill you.

[hfojvt]

12. I know that I did not enjoy the feeling of getting fired

although it was a little bit of relief since it is not funny working at a job you expect to be fired from. I knew that I had temp jobs that I could fall back on, even if that required relocating. I did enjoy unemployment though, it was like paid vacation. I hope you have been planning for this, preparing a resume and checking job leads. Job search is always very difficult for me since there are apparently very few good jobs that I am qualified to do.
All you can do is keep trying.

[Patiod]

14. My heart goes out to you

What a horrible position to be put into.

Sounds like a warm bath and a trashy book/magazine are needed for a temporary (healthy) escape from reality.

[undeterred]

15. In a way I guess I was asking for it

I knew that taking four days off after a work incident like this could not be well received.

And I knew I could not quit.

The truth is I would not have gotten the kind of solid technical experience out of this job that I wanted to get. Way too much other stuff was getting dumped on me.

I have been a contractor in this town for four years so I do have a lot of connections.

The truth is I could never let someone treat me the way that this manager does without paying a huge price for it mentally and emotionally.

It still comes as a shock to the system though and its financially frightening. I've been living on the edge for years.

[Kenneth ken]

16. take a week off

seriously. Take a week off and just concentrate on getting yourself to a positive state of mind.

Congratulate yourself that you didn't "go postal." :)

If you let yourself think about it, you will see that the job was not healthy for you, so you took the best way out. Be proud of the fact that your subconscious is looking out for your best interests, even when your conscious mind is overwhelmed with the day-to-day struggle to accomplish what sounds like was an impossible task.

After a week of getting your self mentally, emotionally, and physically rested, you will be in a much better state to dive back into a job search.

by the way, you didn't lose your job - you threw it away as the trash it was.

:hug:

[undeterred]

17. Thanks for a fantastic reply

I didn't go postal. I recognized that having suicidal feelings over a job is the definitive sign that you need to leave and never come back, so that's what I did.

My subconsicious is brilliant, even when my consciousness is a mess.

This whole week after Monday has been about looking out for myself, sleeping well, eating well, and talking to friends.

thanks

[Kenneth ken]

19. you're very welcome

I hope you have a fantastic weekend :hug:

:hi:

[MissB]

18. Awww

You aren't a loser and you certainly aren't a failure. :hug:

[redwitch]

20. Don't be sad. It sounds like a wretched job, be glad you're out of there!

Hubby was in a situation much like this years ago before we married. It was making him ill. They fired him and he was totally demoralized but shortly thereafter found a different job which he loved. Opportunity rarely knocks at the front door, in my experience. Hang in there friend, you'll be just fine. :hug:

[area51]

21. job

I'm so sorry, undeterred. :hug: I hope you'll get a new I.T. job very soon. I too have worked I.T. w/fscking assholes.

[undeterred]

22. I adored my IT manager but

the business manager is a narcissistic prick

Maybe I will look for something political, closer to my heart.

[LSK]

40. i work in IT too..

While I am not alone in our department, we do get buried with work. This past month I had 12 projects to get done which were all #1 priorities. The last person to call bitching is the priority that I have to get done. It can really get stupid. But I dont let it get to me. I just accept it. LAst spring, someone quit and they didnt hire a replacement, our 3 person team had to take on that work too (which was a clusterfvck). You situation is no unique. Upper management just has NO FUCKING CLUE! You did not fail, management failed.

I would be interested in your career switch into politics. I have been thinking about that too. I just dont know where or how to break into it. If you go this route, I would be interested to see how it works out.

Good luck.

[undeterred]

43. I called Senator Feingold's office this afternoon

the one in Middleton, which I pass by on my way to this awful job. They gave me a name and number to call on Monday. I am going to tell them that I would like to work for him, and here are my skills, and so on.

Then I will keep looking for other jobs. Maybe I will get called by him, maybe not, but right now I have nothing to lose.

[neuvocat]

23. Make sure they pay you for your overtime then.

You might have to take them to small claims court if they try to avoid paying you. You'll get what's owed to you.

[undeterred]

24. Now I am in that "adversarial space" that corporations

put you in when they're done with you. Can't go back to the premises to get my stuff, but they won't know where to find it to ship it to me. They won't know where to find all the hard work I did for them that would help the next person so much either.

I hate corporations, they're assholery.

[neuvocat]

27. You might as well take them to court for that too then.

IT is not such a glamorous field anyway. Maybe working for a non-profit organization would be better for you right now.

[gardenista]

25. I was thinking the same thing. I bet they haven't been paying overtime

for all those extra hours.

[undeterred]

26. They automatically deduct an hour lunch

and I can't change the timecard. You email the supervisor who can change it and hope thay remember to do it.

I hate corporations. Hate Hate Hate everything about them and I hope I don't have to work for one again.

[gardenista]

36. Did they pay you overtime?

As for lunch, it sounds like maybe you should have taken it.

I know it's easy to get wrapped up and overwhelmed, but it's not a good idea to go for hours with no break.

Anyway, if they didn't pay you overtime, you have a case.

[MichiganVote]

28. Go to the Gulf, jobs there will open up. They'll need computer geeks

[bliss_eternal]

29. You are not a loser or a failure,

though it is really normal to feel that after a termination. You are however human.

It is not human to expect more than to be able to do your best. You did it and gave it and it wasn't good enough for them. THEY don't deserve YOU.

You deserve better than to deal with such insane dysfunction and to be still asked to give that much more....

:hug:

If you need to talk, e-mail me, I won't be around and that will be the best way to get in touch with me.

Please remember, you can't give anymore than you've already given. There's something so much better (and healthier) for you out there.

I am very sorry that they made you feel so badly and that you lost your job.

[WCGreen]

30. I'm an accountant....

Go for the unemployment.....

And if they fight you, fight back....

[undeterred]

33. I emailed my senior manager about the unemployment

and he talked to HR and they will not contest it. I was terminated, but not for anything bad that would count against me. In a way its perfect. I hated the job, but if you quit you don't get unemployment. If you keep working you don't have time to look for a job.

They are paying me for the next 2 weeks. So, I just gotta find something soon.

[WCGreen]

39. Good news......

[hatredisnotavalue]

31. WOW, I am really sorry.

I am sure you will find something else with your skills. Personally though, the job sounds like it was a nightmare and they were lucky to have you as long as they did.

[undeterred]

34. thats what I think too

the business director was a total asshole and he had no idea how much I was doing for him and for that office

fuck him, I hope he gets paralyzed in a car accident and has lots of time to think about what an asshole he has been to all the people who have worked for him

It was a nightmare, but I tried so hard to make it work.

[Deja Q]

32. You are not the failure, my friend. Our greedy, exploitative cesspool of a

"society" is.

Never forget that.

[GreenPartyVoter]

35. I am so sorry *hugs*

[graywarrior]

37. Been where you are. After backing off for a week or so,

I got my perspective back and realized it wasn't me...it was corporate mis-management.

Don't let them shame you. Let it go. Don't beat a dead horse. Close one door, open another.

But take a week to yourself and take care of your health. Get some B complex vitamins and some sleep. You'll be OK.

Say to yourself "right this minute, everything is ok."

[Sequoia]

38. I'm so sorry that had to happen. I know the feeling.

Five years ago I was in a very horrid accident and two weeks later I was "laid off". I stayed away from work for a few months and then when I tried to get hired the big Nine-Eleven happened so no work for sure. Then my landlord tried to evict me around the holidays, got served the day before Thanksgiving. Went to court, won but decided to move up north. Big mistake, high cost of living, mate can't find work, kid had mean teachers, my job pays like in 1985 and my rent is more than double. I get in food lines for the poor and hope my co-workers don't see me since they bad-mouth homeless and poor people.

I hope you can get unemployment. That company really dogged you. You're not a loser or a failure and I wish I could give you a hug. I'll have to just send a prayer your way.

[flamingyouth]

41. Sorry for you

That really sucks. :(

[gizmo1979]

42. you'll find a job

quickly.it people are always needed.try to find a place with decent nanagement.Or better yet start your own small it firm,then you can be your own boss.

[undeterred]

44. its my birthday and I have no job

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

[Bullwinkle925]

45. Look at it this way - perhaps it is the BEST B'day gift you could have

given yourself. Use this opportunity to find something you'll really enjoy doing.

[undeterred]

46. I hope so but it doesn't feel that way right now

I drove myself crazy trying to please these people and in the end all I got was kicked in the face.

[Bullwinkle925]

47. File for your unemployment on Monday.

What would you like to do? Thinking of changing fields?

[undeterred]

48. I am sending my resume to Feingold's office in Middleton

as well as going back to the usual contract techie stuff.

Besides being a techie I have loads of graduate school and am a terrific writer. Working on his staff in any capacity would be a dream job for me. I have no idea what they need, but it can't hurt to ask.

[necso]

49. Circumstances beyond your control

pushed you outside of your performance envelope.

It happens.

Recognize that it does -- and has. And recognize that you will have to crawl back (use whatever other image here that you like) into that envelope, pick up the pieces and move on.

Wisdom, courage and strength.

[khashka]

50. Total loser and horrible failure?

I doubt it.

Actually your skills are very much in demand. A new (and better) job shouldn't be that far away.


In the meantime, commiserations. The good thing about being down is the only way is up.

Keep us posted.

And I wish you all the best,
Khash.

[undeterred]

56. thank you khash

I know these things are true, its just hard to be all the way at the bottom, and its my birthday too.

[Floogeldy]

51. Losing Our Job

LOSING OUR JOB

It's just a job that fell through
I'm sure that you will find another
I'll make a special dinner tonight
Don't worry darling, it'll be alright

I don't believe these words I'm singing
It doesn't sound like truth to me
Our love is gone, but we're still clinging
To the way it used to be

These times are hard for everybody
I read the paper, I see the news
Something will give and make it better
We're gonna work it out, not gonna lose

I don't believe these words I'm singing
It doesn't sound like truth to me
Our love is gone, but we’re still clinging
To the way it used to be

Words & music by Terre Roche

[Blue_Tires]

52. i'm also unemployed

so i know where you're coming from

[undeterred]

53. thank you all for supporting me

I'm going to try to sleep now. :grouphug:

[ofrfxsk]

54. Oh honey, you're not a loser. You were overworked to the point

of despondency. When you said you felt suicidal, it rang a huge bell here. I went through that and no one cared either. You really need to get help for your depression. It's not the grand answer but it will help you in the long run.

This is what I hate about life these days. No one will admit that probably 35% or more of the population isn't cut out for desk jobs. Why is the depression level so high? Most people sit at a desk all day long working jobs/projects that they can't see to fruition. All they see are constant problems and bitching from coworkers. No wonder we are an angry and sad people. The American way is to act like nothing is wrong though.
If one person is overworked; he ain't working hard enough. If someone is suicidally depressed; fire his ass 'cause he's a weakling. Things need to change.

Regardless of my tangent, I am with you. I understand. Take some days to just breathe. You need them after that schedule. Please know you can go on and you ARE NOT a failure because those folks fucked you over. It was their failing. NOT yours.

[undeterred]

55. thank you

I actually liked the job itself. But there were way too many people to support and way too much stuff to do. My real bosses in the IT department were in another city and they just kept saying hang in there, we'll hire someone to help you, do the best you can. My asshole business director boss thought I should magically be supporting our office with 170 people plus 6 of his other smaller offices in other states. The whole concept was ludicrous. He treated me like I was slacking off, when in reality I was working way too many hours and still not keeping up.

Bottom line is the asshole boss is a textbook Narcisisstic Personality. His secretary has to work from home 3 days a week because she is so stressed out. But she is totally submissive to him. I wasn't submissive enough, so I got stressed out and fired. He's a narcissistic prick, and no one should have to work for someone like that. He's a successful man who is a horrible person and a horrible manager, and as soon as I realized that two months ago I had that sinking feeling that this was never going to work.

Still, I tried and tried until it almost broke me. I recognized the suicidal feelings as a sure sign I needed to get out and never go back, but I couldn't quit because of the unemployment comp thing. A friend of mine quite her job because of stress a few months ago and now she is barely holding it together, living on food stamps. Thank God my IT Manager terminated me, it was an act of kindness.

But the whole situation totally sucks, and the Narcisisstic Prick will not suffer at all - the people who work for him will.