Question for any adults living with a parent in the parent's home

[LeftyMom]

Generally does living at home as an adult obligate one to do most of the cleaning up? I'd say so but I want to make sure I'm being reasonable before I call my young relative up and tear her a new asshole, because I went over to visit today and the place is a dump.

[evlbstrd]

1. One should contribute to one's household.

Tear away.

[crispini]

2. I'd say it depends on the circumstances.

Although I am not currently living with them, but I did for a short period after college, and I paid rent. I helped keep things tidy, but I'd say by no means did I do "most" of the housework. Why should I have? I had a job at the time & neither of my parents were working.

[Withywindle]

3. It's up to the people involved what kind of arrangement they want to have.

Generally I'd say that all adults in a household should contribute to that household equally. Whether that's financial/housework/other is up to them in how they want to break it down.

I don't see any "rules" in how this "should" be done - obviously it's going to depend on who works and when, who has more money and who has less, etc.

Does your relative work long hours? Does she contribute to rent/mortgage/utilities fairly? Do the parents work long hours? All these things are factors.

[LeftyMom]

4. Okay, I tried not to add too many details for privacy's sake

but to be honest anybody who knows my family probably knows exactly who this is about anyhow. :shrug:

Sis is 21 and in community college and working. Dad is 56 and works 10+ hours a day at least 5 days a week, usually six or more. They're both really busy, but he pays all the bills and most of her expenses so it seems fair to me that she should do the majority of the picking up.

If she can't handle it (and I think she can but doesn't want to bother) I wish she'd at least called me or phone up a maid service for an estimate (they can afford it) before the living room got to the point where you couldn't see the floor.

[greatauntoftriplets]

5. They both should do the picking up and cleaning.

But Sis should really do her share since Dad is picking up the bills and working extremely long hours.

[Withywindle]

13. Oh in that case,

It sounds like she should be doing more.

Paying for a housecleaning service isn't a bad solution if everybody is really busy.

[Ladyhawk]

6. Until I got sick, I did most of the housework in my parents' home as

an adult, but my mother doesn't remember. :( :( :( :(

I think she felt put upon when I got so sick. She probably still feels put upon because I need her help to live somewhat independently.

[LeftyMom]

10. How are you doing?

Is your bone graft taking well? I don't mean to be nosy but I don't think I've seen an update on your condition lately.

Do let me know if you're going to be in Sacramento for a dr's visit or something, I'd be happy to meet you for lunch one of these days. :)

[Ladyhawk]

12. I'd love that. :)

The bone is fused, but I had a setback when I didn't wean myself gradually from the collar. I was in a lot of pain for a couple of weeks. It's getting better now, but I have to try the whole "weaning off the collar" thing over again. :P

[hickman1937]

7. Is she paying rent?

If not, housework is the rent. Anything else is freeloading. Been there.

[LeftyMom]

8. No, she doesn't pay rent

Dad would never dream of asking her and wouldn't take it if she offered.

[hickman1937]

11. If she's not under 18, she's freeloading.

Your Dad shouldn't have to ask. No offence but she sounds like a republican. They're all carnys at heart. People are there to be used.

[CBGLuthier]

9. ream her out

After reading the details, she deserves it.

[Blue_Tires]

14. yesh...i do about 95 percent of all the cleaning

[Mz Pip]

15. Doesn't matter what the relationship is

It is not ok to trash the place. Ever.

It's not rocket science to clean up after one's self. It just good manners.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. depends

i moved in with my mom and offer to help all the time..but there are things she wants/likes to do by herself..and i dont want to intrude either