Inappropriate use of 'The Shire' theme

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

I was watching LOTR last night and it occurred to me nearly every time Frodo mentions the Shire and/or the ring and the incredible burden he bears, they cue 'The Shire' theme song. (To jog your memory, it's the one that goes, "Do do do do do do do. Do do do do do do do do do do." Sound familiar?) Anyway, it really started to irritate me, almost as much as the sticky-sweet, latent homosexual tension between Frodo and Sam (not that I have anything against some hot, male hobbit on hobbit love) so I thought I'd come up with a scenario that would be completely inappropriate for that song. Here is is:

Man sits as desk, drinking large cup of coffee and checking his emails. He takes a big swig of coffee and clicks on a new email. Sounds of a distressed stomach are heard. Man winces slightly and grabs his stomach. CUE 'THE SHIRE' THEME SONG! Man grumbles, "Damn Mexican food," and reaches for nearby newspaper. He stands, tucks newspaper under arm and heads for door marked "Men's Room."

Please share your inappropriate use of 'The Shire' theme ideas here....

Edit: typo

[jpgray]

1. A scene of hot, male hobbit on hobbit love

I mean, you couldn't easily put that melody through a whack-a-chicken guitar backing without losing something.

[tigereye]

8. no not the phase shifter

phase distorter... what ever it is! NO!

[WCGreen]

11. Wa Wa Pedal

[tigereye]

15. right I was blanking on it

I still remember a gig we played once after the guitarist had just gotten one. It was hilariously annoying.

[Orsino]

13. But a sweet, high voice singing...

..."In and Out Again" could be fun over such a scene.

[Shell Beau]

2. I just didn't like the LOTR movies. I bought the

gift set for my hubby without ever watching them and we watched them all (in three days). I thought they were so drawn out. It could have been done in one long movie IMO!! Sorry, I don't have an inappropriate Shire song story.

[tigereye]

9. oh

the extended release ones are like a film school tutorial. We watched them endlessly, but then we are huge geeks. My son sat through LOTR 3 TWICE in the theater!

[Shell Beau]

10. OMG, I thought how many battles can they

possibly have. I like fantasy stuff, but LOTR didn't do it for me. I guess there was so much hype and when I saw it, I was disappointed. I do love the Harry Potter movies though!

[tigereye]

14. the third HP movie is especially good!

[sundog]

3. frodo receives written notice that he has tested positive for gonorrhea

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

5. I love it.

He gets the envelope and reads the return address: Hobbiton Free Clinic/1 Buckleberry Way. He takes the letter out and begins reading it...CUE 'THE SHIRE' THEME. A lone tear slides down Frodo's cheek as he limps awkwardly thru the front door of Bag End.

Edit: more typos

[sundog]

6. goes into the map room & 'checks himself'

CUE 'THE SHIRE' THEME

[asthmaticeog]

4. Robin Zander says

"This song is the first song on our new album." Cue Shire Theme.

[fudge stripe cookays]

7. .

:rofl:

"...It just came out this week, and the song is called..."Shire Theme!"

{{{{cue thousands of screaming Japanese girls}}}}

[bleedingheart]

12. how about using it in commercials for Hobbit ED

you could have a bob dole like hobbit hawking it to others...

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

17. Let me set the scene:

The Saturday Night Live announcer says: "Once again here's Elvis Costello" as the band launched into a slightly hyper version of "Less Than Zero". Elvis is wearing a grey jacket with a dark tie and a striped shirt, plus narrow-leg blue jeans. As Elvis reaches the line about "there's a vacancy waiting in the English voodoo" he stops short, not quite getting the word 'voodoo' out as he starts to turn, yelling frantically "Stop! Stop!" to the Attractions. Having gotten the band's attention Elvis turns back to the audience and rather earnestly announces "I'm sorry, Ladies and Gentlemen, there's no reason to do this song here". He then turns back towards the band and says "OK, Shire Theme!.....1, 2, 3, 4" and the band crash, slightly awkwardly (understandably since the song is not in 4/4 time), into the opening chords of "Shire Theme".

[SocratesInSpirit]

16. How about for one of those "feminine hygene" commercials...

Woman facing camera: Do you ever have one of those days where you don't feel "fresh" down there?

CUE HOBBIT THEME

A man and woman skip merrily down a beach, hand in hand, as the woman from the beginning talks glowingly yet vaguely about the product in a voiceover, the hobbit theme playing lightly in the background.

CUE AUDIENCE SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN HEAD

FIN

:D

[RandomKoolzip]

18. Here's mine:

Four middle-aged tourists stop at a Denny's off of the highway somewhere in southern Illinois or western Alabama. They are dressed in pastels. Two of the toursits are men, both wear black socks, topsiders, and golf shirts. The women both wear visors. They are traveling in an RV with a bumper sticker which features a lighthearted jape concerning sportfishing.

They sit down to eat, contemplate the menu....waitress arrives.

"Do you know what you'd like?"

Man seated on left replies, "Yes...the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity, please."

CUE "THE SHIRE."