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DU help me...I thought I was over my fury at those who voted Bush*.

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Ladyhawk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 01:29 PM
Original message
DU help me...I thought I was over my fury at those who voted Bush*.
This morning I woke up to the news that relief efforts had been stopped. Suddenly the sadness was gone and the fury came back. I can't swallow. I can't see. I'm fucking losing it.

Today I'm supposed to have voice class. The voice teacher was once a close friend of mine until he broke a promise and tried to re-proselytize me to his fundy ways. I need voice class and I need his continued "friendship" because he's well-known and could screw me over in the musical community.

He's going to come into the classroom and express his heartfelt sympathies for those who are suffering and dying in New Orleans and I'm going to want to list the things that the shrub did and didn't do that caused the deaths of these people. I'm going to want to look him in the eye, remembering the "Viva Bush" bumpersticker I saw on his counter when I came to repair his computer, and I'm going to want to say with a cold, cold gleam in my eye, "You voted for the bastard again, didn't you?...didn't you?"

My mother voted for * too and right now she's down in San Diego / Coronado on vacation. She said she wanted to get in her RV and drive out to help the victims. I appreciate the sentiment. I really do, but I'm furious that she won't even listen to me if I try to tell her how * failed those people. She won't listen. She never has. She'll never get it.

And selfishly, I need her here. She has a contract with the county to help me take care of things I can't always do by myself like groceries and laundry. The people in NO have it so much worse, but I am not sure how I'll be. I never know in advance and I don't want to rely on my brother because he's unreliable. I feel so furious at her and yet so guilty for wanting (needing?) her here to help me take care of necessities. I'm so fucking upset.

And who am I to judge anyone??? I voted for the bastard in 2000. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I figured it out before the war started in Iraq, but was that soon enough? Perhaps I failed those poor people, too. My state went to Gore, but I sure as hell voted for the chimp. I didn't do it with relish. I wasn't all that excited about him, but I was not informed...whose fault is that? Mine. I have been ill, so that is some excuse.

DU, help me! :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
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Caoimhe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 01:33 PM
Response to Original message
1. I understand your anger
I feel the need every few minutes to walk outside and breathe deeply. My anger is beyond words at this point. We all feel so helpless. The neocons are saying that it is too dangerous to rescue anyone.. basically signing the death warrant of hundreds of people. This is just an excuse. But remember, your sanity is paramount. Slow down, take a deep breath, get outside if you can. Turn off the news, listen to some calming music. I have to or I will lose it.
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getmeouttahere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 01:35 PM
Response to Original message
2. If you need the voice teacher so badly...
it's simple, swallow your pride and don't say a word. You can't change the fact that he voted for BushCo. When the rest of the country is going down the tubes with NOLA and Miss they may still support BushCo. It's a disease. What can you do?
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Tace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 01:37 PM
Response to Original message
3. LadyHawk -- You're In Quite A Pinch -- Here's What I Suggest
I won't give you shit for voting for * in 2000, if you won't give your teacher shit for voting for * in 2004.

It really seems to me that the only way out for you is to forgive your teacher, in hopes that others will understand your error.

Just a suggestion. BTW, I read all your posts and am a fond DU'er. Chrs
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Ladyhawk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 02:07 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. Yes, I guess I need to forgive myself for voting for the bastard
before I can forgive anyone else. Sigh. I have to remember that some of these people don't know what they're doing. Some do, but even then, I have to learn to contend with them in such a way that I don't have a stroke.

Unnecessary suffering makes me angry, as well it should, but venting anger isn't likely to help anyone to see the light.

:(

LH
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classof56 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 01:38 PM
Response to Original message
4. Hang in there, Ladyhawk! You're doing great.
Use your voice for positive, uplifting pursuits and share the message with the words to your songs. The voice teacher may be beyond hope, but with your presence, influence and your words he may come around. Some people just cannot face the truth and the error of their ways. Jesus once said, "Wisdom is proved right by her actions." Let your actions reflect your wisdom and be grateful you have seen the truth and face the future with the strength and courage I know you have within you. You ARE making a difference in this troubled world, just by your involvement in DU and sharing with all of us. Keep strong, focused, and raise your voice in praise to all that is good and holy. Your mom is so good to want to drive out and help the NO and Gulf coast victims, but I'm sure she knows how much you need her and appreciate her. It's sad that she won't listen to you, but there are so many among our family and friends who won't. Do not feel guilty about anything--you are now on the right path and will continue on it and continue to make a positive difference to all who know and care about you.

Oh, and it's okay to cry, too!

Blessings.
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Bonhomme Richard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
5. Anyone, anyone who still supports that.................
motherfucker and his henchman is nothing short of a fucking traitor.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 01:56 PM
Response to Original message
6. Maybe today isn't the best day for a voice lesson.
Sounds like your throat could be a little sore... ;-)

Are there no other voice teachers in your area that you could discreetly switch to? I'm not sure where you are in CA; but I'm sure you could find a coach whose political views are similar to yours.

If you must study with him, I'd say skip today, and work on remembering that ignorance is a disease that is tremendously difficult to cure. Anybody who voted for Dingbat suffers from the disease, and is to be pitied.

Don't push your anger away. Allow yourself to feel it without acting on it. Use the energy to do something positive...like yard work, housecleaning, or a good long walk. Ultimately it will help you understand and feel compassion for others when they are angry.

:hug:
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