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10. Dip into social security fund to give every American free HBO
But the same amount of money can treat us to 5 minutes with a hooker! In order to make it worthwhile, we'd need 12 times the amount of cash!
9. Use diplomacy to bring peace to Brad, Jen and Angelina
You mean they're a threesome and one is being given less attention? Which one, is it Brad? 8. Try fixing Iraq, creating some jobs, reducing the deficit and maybe capturing Osama
Too easy, mon. Too easy.
7. Figure out a way for the Yankees to win a game
That's easy: Bring in good players.
6. Replace his "country simpleton" persona with more lovable "hillbilly idiot" image
Yeah, but that would have worked in 1968 when Jed Clamppett was considered cool.
5. Use weekly radio address to give Americans a Van Halen twofer
It's not 1983 anymore, sorry.
4. Get Saddam to switch to boxers
Mmmm. That would make Saddam's cellmate happy. His current ones must stink to high heaven by now.
3. Ditch the librarian and make Eva Longoria First Lady
Bush needs a librarian? His library consists of coloring books and "My Pet Goat"...
2. Resign
Way too easy.
1. Jump on Oprah's couch while professing his love for Katie Holmes
Katie Holmes? Not Condi Rice? Or maybe using Katie is a lie; Bush has gone black and understandably doesn't want to come back! He's wooing Oprah! W00t!!!!!!!!!!! :D
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