Tell me something you've heard about Hillary from your anonymous source

[LynneSin]

http://www.creators.com/opinion_show.cfm?columnsName=jco

Seems like a bulk of the new anti-Hillary book by Ed Klein comes from anonymous sources that are too willing to tell their stories but too chicken-shit to give their names. Then again, that's what I'm assuming since who knows if these people are real.

So I know you all have anonymous sources out there - tell me what you've heard about Hillary through these unnamed folks! Maybe we can write a book (well rehashed from what Conason was saying from the above link since most of it was just a rehash of other anti-Hillary books).

My anonymous source says that Hillary once ripped the tag off a a brand new mattress she bought!

[sniffa]

1. she's a Lousy tipper

and when she goes to martha's vineyard for vacations, she checks out of the hoteL at about 11:30am, even though check out is CLEARLY at 11am.

[Reverend_Smitty]

2. My source told me

that she killed a man...WITH HER MIND!!!

[LynneSin]

3. Damn, that's one really sharp mind

:wow:

ANyhow, I heard she killed the man just to watch him die

[Reverend_Smitty]

14. Thats right...don't cross her!

you know what else? She double dips her chips!

[Democrat 4 Ever]

8. My source tells me her IQ is higher than the combined total of the repug

Congress, White House, and cabinet.

And that she squeezes her toothpaste from the middle. Has she no shame!

[tk2kewl]

4. My source tells me she is under attack by the vast right-wing

conspiracy because she has the goods son the liar-in-chief.

[Magrittes Pipe]

5. HITLERy KKKlintOON murdered Vince Foster!!!1

[norml]

34. Vince Foster was a LESBIAN!

My anonymous sources are certain of this.

[Lavender Brown]

6. She wants Rachael Ray to be the White House chef

when she is elected in 2008.

[aden_nak]

7. Hillary Clinton can bench press over 650 pounds.

[Misunderestimator]

9. My source told me that she shies away from this recipe...

Lesbian Vampire Garlic Pasta with Fresh Herbs
By Pam Keesey (interview)

* 1 pound pasta
* 6 quarts water
* 3 tablespoons olive oil
* 8 to 16 cloves garlic, coarsely minced
* 2 cups fresh basil and parsley, finely chopped
* 1 to 2 cups cream
* Lemon juice
* Freshly ground pepper
* Freshly grated Italian or Argentine Parmesan


http://www.queerhorror.com/Qvamp/articles/lesVampRecipe.html

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

10. Hillary was the walrus

[LynneSin]

12. I heard she was the eggman

your sources suck!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

11. Hillary slept with Jack Kennedy

[LynneSin]

16. I heard she said to Bill: "I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was.....

a friend of mine. But I can tell you one thing, President Clinton, you're no Jack Kennedy!"

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

13. Hoffa is buried in Hillary's yard

[WhollyHeretic]

15. Hillary Shot JR

[LynneSin]

17. I heard she also shot the sheriff but she did not shoot the deputy

Whoa-o-o

[WhollyHeretic]

20. I heard that Chelsea was the one who shot the deputy

[Strawman]

18. "Some people say" she is keeping the embryonic Baby Jesus in a freezer

so that her and Bill can use his stem cells and rule the universe forever. "Some people" say that.

[underpants]

19. She can open PBR's with the back of her knee

I'm told it is something to behold.

[ucmike]

21. hillary turned cats and dogs against each other

-she keeps the buffalo bills from ever winning the superbowl
-she has the wmd's
-she used the word 'diggity' after the kaiser stole our word for twenty
-she gets mad and releases dogs on people, and the dogs have bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

22. Hillary can high jump over 7 feet

nt

[LynneSin]

23. She shouldn't be running for president, she should be in the NBA

we could use a high jumper on the Sixers

[underpants]

28. Actually that is true

[Bucky]

24. Remember when Pete Salinger thought a missile took out that airliner...

It was actually Hillary with a shoulder-mounted banana-peeler. Of course George Tenet covered it all up.

[Patiod]

25. I heard she lets her cats kill songbirds

and then defends the cat under a secret DU identity.

[name not needed]

26. She's a Scientologist

and was behind the Kuwaiti Incubator thing.

[swag]

27. Hillary is bootylicious.

She understands the importance of the ripple.

[WhollyHeretic]

29. She assassinated Archduke Ferdinand

[underpants]

30. Hillary has perfected the "Figure 4" as well as her own "Diamond Cutter"

Why do you think all those Repubs cower before her?

[Eagle_Eye]

31. She has a Swedish bank account with Billions in it

[zbdent]

32. Don't forget the "Condom Tree"

for Christmas . . .

[zbdent]

33. I have a sneaky suspicion that most of the "anonymous" sources

have the initials E.K.

Or maybe N. ("Newt") G.

[Lannes]

35. She is a master ninja

Really!

[aden_nak]

37. Some Fact About Hillary:

1. Hillary is a mammal.
2. Hillary fights ALL the time.
3. The purpose of Hillary is to flip out and kill people.

[norml]

36. Nominated. Also she killed the Kennedys, because she wants to be...

President Hillary Rodham Clinton Intergalactic Overlord!

[Bunny]

38. She mixes whites with colors when doing her laundry.

[flvegan]

39. Actually a robot powered by a super-genius lab mouse named, The Brain.

[NoPasaran]

40. I hear she flew both of those planes into the Twin Towers.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

41. I heard she makes Bill use a live rattlesnake for a condom n/t

[progmom]

42. now i don't know if it's true, but i heard..,.

She can wash out 44 pairs of socks and have 'em hangin out on the line
She can starch & iron 2 dozens shirts 'fore you can count from 1 to 9
She can scoop up a great big dipper full of lard from the drippins can
Throw it in the skillet, go out & do her shopping, be back before it melts in the pan
'Cause she's a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I'll say it again

She can rub & scrub this old house til it's shinin like a dime
Feed the baby, grease the car, & powder her face at the same time
Get all dressed up, go out and swing til 4 a.m. and then
Lay down at 5, jump up at 6, and start all over again
'Cause she's a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I'll say it again

If you come to her sickly you know she's gonna make you well
If you come to her all hexed up you know she's gonna break the spell
If you come to her hungry you know she's gonna fill you full of grits
If it's lovin you're likin, she'll kiss you and give you the shiverin' fits
'Cause she's a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I'll say it again

She can stretch a green black dollar bill from here to kindom come!
She can play the numbers pay the bills and still end up with some!
She got a twenty-dollar gold piece says there ain't nothing she can't do
She can make a dress out of a feed bag and she can make a man out of you
'Cause she's a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I'll say it again
'Cause she's a woman! W-O-M-A-N, and that's all.

[Deep13]

43. She's so mean she once shot a man for snoring too loud.

[Deep13]

44. Also, she shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

[Deep13]

45. Climbed Mt. Everest in the 1950s.

[NewJeffCT]

46. When they crucified Christ

Hillary was the one that put the final nail in the cross...

[Goldeneye]

47. Bill forced her to get a tatoo on her back

that says "Bill is my boo." She smokes and wears dentures too.

[SarahB]

48. I hear she has a date this weekend with the guy who...

took a picture of your bootie. :evilgrin:

[warrens]

49. She eats babies. Two, sometimes three every week

This guy who knows her told me that on the Internets one night.

[mark414]

50. she kicks puppies

and uses the bible for toilet paper

[IChing]

51. She leaves the lid up after using the toilet.

[Deep13]

52. She wears white after labor day!

[Zuni]

53. she drinks the blood of children to retain eternal youth

[edbermac]

54. She once gave it to Rush Limbaugh with a foot long strap-on...

Probably why he hates her so much; she didn't do it to him anymore after that memorable night...

[iconoclastNYC]

55. She's really Bill in drag.

Yep just like Michael Jackson and Latoya. Oldest trick in the book. You get two have two careers instead of just one.

[KamaAina]

56. Hillary singlehandedly caused the extinction of the dinosaurs

there goes the environmental vote :-)

[geniph]

57. I heard she whupped O'Reilly in armwrestling

and that's why he can't stand her. She kicked his butt and humiliated him in a bar match.

Hey, it's at least as true as most of what that idiot Klein printed!

[struggle4progress]

58. Limbaugh once saw her step into a flying saucer.

[CrownPrinceBandar]

59. She invented a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends........

"You guys just don't get it!"

[Guy Fawkes]

60. She's really a robot.

From the future!