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Yes my skin is fair - NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 07:26 AM
Original message
Yes my skin is fair - NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
UGH!!!

I hate this - day in and day out the damn questions from absolute total strangers who feel they need to provide a suncare regime to me because *GASP* I have fair white skin (well, in NYC it was slightly tanned thanks to self tanners).

I would not walk up to a person of color and say something like "My that's really dark skin you have there", so why does it make it ok for me like I'm some freak of nature?? I don't know this woman, but my guestimate is she's about 5-6 years older than me and she looks like a grandmother. Me, I hardly have a wrinkle in my skin.

And this time, I said something back. I was polite, said thanks and was about to walk out of there until she started giving me skin care advise. Well here's advice - unless you're 50 and you have skin like a baby's bottom without ever getting a face lift, botox or any other form of chemical adjustment, do you think I want advice from you.

ANd when I brushed her off she was shocked like why would I be upset for someone commenting me on it? Well, trying having to deal with this everyday of your life, twice as much in the summer time and to make matters worse spent 12 years of schooling (plus 4 of college) where it was a source of ridicule. Hell, let's just relive the horrible painful memories of youth please, I like the torture.

Fortunately this is not a woman who I will see more often then crossing paths in the ladies bathroom. But in the past this is the kind of stuff that would have me running towards the closest junk food outlet shoving chocolate in my mouth until I'm sick of all the sugar.

So I'll rant, again. And for the rest of you, seriously if you feel you really need to compliment someone on their fair skin - think twice about it. Or at least make it a compliment that doesn't focas on how pale someone is but instead something like "you have wonderful skin - how do you take care of it?"

Rant overwith
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 07:28 AM
Response to Original message
1. CONFESS!
"...day in and day out the damn questions from absolute total strangers ....." :D

irony is SSSSWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTT :bounce:
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 07:30 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. Yes, but on DU if questions are asked that I don't want to answer
I just hid the "hide thread" button

:loveya:
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Debbi801 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 07:30 AM
Response to Original message
2. As another woman with super fair skin, I salute you...
:hi:

Yes, I was stupid in my youth and tried the baby oil and iodine thing, but after several years of looking like a lobster, I gave up. I've never tanned. Even after a bad burn, I would go back to being super fair.

As an adult, I've learned that sunscreen is my friend and I use it liberally. :-)

Debbi
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 07:32 AM
Response to Original message
4. Yes!
I don't know how many people tell me in the Summer about how I look "pale and ghostly" or some such nonsense. Gee, it would be so much better if I were supertan, never used sunscreen, and looked like a leathered-face freak like those women in their 30's who have been OVER-tanning for years. I'll take my paleness (and frequently being mistaken for being 5-10 years younger) as well thank you very much. :D
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 07:36 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. It just gets on my nerves when total strangers feel they need to give...
Edited on Tue Jun-14-05 07:36 AM by LynneSin
...me skin advice.

Well nothing personal, do you think I'm going to take skincare advice from someone with leather skin. The only advice I would take is "Seriously, keep up what you're doing because do don't want to end up with wrinkled dried out skin like mine that has aged before it's time do you"

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liberalitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 07:43 AM
Response to Original message
6. FELLOW RAW CHICKEN WOMAN!!!!!
Edited on Tue Jun-14-05 07:43 AM by liberalitch
That's what I've been told my skin looks like if I don't get sun....
I do tan.... but quite frankly I'm afraid of what the sun does to our skin..... So I don't tan as much as I used to....

A woman wearing a "pray for our president, pray for our troops" t-shirt, weighed 300 pounds and was lobster red in the sav-a-lot said the other day.... "If I had no sun on my legs.... I sure wouldn't wear shorts."

I said loudly enough for her to hear to my friend "Oh, and we can all tell by shopzilla's poltical choices that HER judgement is sound."
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 07:48 AM
Response to Reply #6
9. She said that to you?
Great comeback! :thumbsup:
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liberalitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 08:02 AM
Response to Reply #9
11. She's didn't have the balls to say it TO me....
just about me....
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NNadir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 07:43 AM
Response to Original message
7. In the area of unsolicited commentary, my son was born with a birthmark
on his face.

After 10 years I still cannot believe the stuff I've heard.

My least favorite from strangers, "What did you do to cause that?

I usually answer that besides taking loads of heroin, and a dose of LSD every day, my wife and I moved near a coal plant during her pregnancy and made sure that we swilled gasoline every day and tried to get as much exposure to radiation as we could.

The ironic thing is that my son, a very gentle and fine person, would never even think of being so rude himself. Moreover he sloughs off the rudeness of others.
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 07:47 AM
Response to Original message
8. you have beautiful skin LynneSin
sheesh ... the nerve of some people:grr:
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gollygee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 08:01 AM
Response to Original message
10. Me too - someone once told me I looked like I had "consumption"
:eyes:

I'm just pale. That's all.
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Strawman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 08:14 AM
Response to Original message
12. I know the feeling
I get some color on my arms legs and face, but my torso is pretty white. On our honeymoon in Vegas, some stammering drunk older lady in the pool told me I was the whitest man she had ever seen. I doubt that was true, but that was it for me as far as the pool that week.
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KamaAina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 08:23 AM
Response to Original message
13. I was only worried you'd burn when (not if) you come to Hawai'i
you know, while waiting for a bus, or walking a block to the ABC (convenience) store :-) This, my dear, is the only suncare regime that you will need. :loveya:

Paradoxically, after nearly five years on the island, I find myself irresistibly drawn to what we'd call "sharkbait haoles" (Hawai'i locals believe that sharks, too, are attracted to very fair white skin since, to them, it resembles a fish), since most people out there tan in the course of daily living. Or maybe it was the kamikazes talking... :evilgrin:

Useless factoid: I pass a tanning salon on the way to work every morning -- yes, in Honolulu. Go figure.
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Patiod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 08:38 AM
Response to Original message
14. My S.O. gets a lot of grief on his skin, too
even from me. I probably could cut out the vampire remarks.

One September day in Avalon, he and I walked 3 miles to the Windrift one afternoon after 3pm. He wore a white tee-shirt and BURNT, THROUGH THE SHIRT. After 3pm in September. Now that's pale.

The thing is, I wish I had his vampire skin, because then I would not have burnt myself to a crisp in pursuit of the perfect tan all those years, and I wouldn't have all these nasty pre-cancerous lesions all over my arms and chest. The dermatologist brochure said that asymetric moles have a 50% likelihood of becoming cancerous - and I have at least 10 of them. Took me 35 years to realize that Irish people were NOT designed to sit out in the U.S. sun all summer.
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Coventina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 09:12 AM
Response to Original message
15. 'Nuther "vampire" over here.
Edited on Tue Jun-14-05 09:13 AM by Coventina
:hi:

I've endured the same comments myself. But it never really bothered me, because I always thought, "And when I'm 50, I'll look like I'm 35, and when you're 50 you'll look like you're 75."

And you know what? It's all coming true. I'm now 36 and I regularly get carded for alcohol. I even got carded for a LOTTERY TICKET (age 18) last year!!!

Living well is the best revenge.

on edit: grammar
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 09:25 AM
Response to Original message
16. You said it well!
As a fellow "pale face", I understand. I'm older now and dealing with the redish spider veins in my face from being so pale and blushing. I still get the comments or questions. One stranger walked up and asked me what was wrong with my face!

I used to get comments about how "white" I am, how I need some sun, why don't I wear more makeup(I had it on!) etc. Between my fairness and having curly hair, I don't know which one drove me more crazy! I'm also wasn't fond of people coming up and feeling my hair and playing with the back of it. Now, they do that to my daughter!

I once was told I looked like a porcelain doll! I'm still not sure if that was a compliment or not..

Great Rant LynnSin!
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Threedifferentones Donating Member (820 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 09:32 AM
Response to Original message
17. What's wrong with fair skin?
Personally I think it can be quite attractive...just as attractive as a tan if not more.
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 09:52 AM
Response to Reply #17
20. I didn't say anything was wrong with it
Would you take driving lessons from someone who lost their license because of too many accidents & tickets?

Then why should I take skin advices from someone with burnt, leather-face skin - btw, that's UNSOLICITED and in the summertime I get it almost everyday

:shrug:
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Lavender Brown Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 09:33 AM
Response to Original message
18. I get that too.
I just burn if I try to get tanned, so I avoid it. I'd rather be pale than a lobster. :shrug:
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blue neen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 09:48 AM
Response to Original message
19. A guy said to me one time,
"You know you'd really be stunning if you just had a tan." He thought that was a compliment.

I came back from a trip to California, and my sister-in-law said to me,"Neen, how the hell could you go to California and come back looking white as a ghost." I looked at her and said, "I didn't lay in the sun because I didn't want the cancer!"

I've had it. I'm part Swedish for crying out loud, and I'm not ashamed of being fair.
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Kathy in Cambridge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 09:54 AM
Response to Original message
21. I'm a pale girl too. I wear sunscreen year round.
and yes, I have been the victim of that 'God, you're so white" kind of comment before. My skin usually looks a hell of a lot better than the isiot who makes the comment.
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Red State Rebel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 09:59 AM
Response to Original message
22. Same thing here - I avoid the sun like the plague!
I'm 48 had have pretty much NO wrinkles. My momma told me do these three things and you will never regret it.
1. Stay out of the sun.
2. Wear good bras
3. Moisturize!!!

She was right!
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 10:04 AM
Response to Original message
23. White folks unite!
Just joking.

It's good to see that peole who should not be in the sun much are having the sense to stay out of the sun these days. I was once married to a pale, plale blonde, and every year she would torture herself in the sun, get burned silly, turn red and peel (and how attractive was THAT!, and just generally be stupid about wanting to get tan.

I warned her and warned her that she was looking at having alligator skin (not to mention skin cancer) by the age of 40 if she didn't cut it out, but she didn't believe me.

Well, I was wrong. She actually got the gator skin starting at about 35.

PS: I'm not entirely white, but I'll be right there in the shade with you. It's cooler there, and the ice in your drink doesn't melt as fast.

Redstone
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Magrittes Pipe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 10:07 AM
Response to Original message
24. I don't care about that.
I just don't think it's appropriate for you to be sharing a bed with little boys.
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ProfessorGAC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 10:13 AM
Response to Original message
25. As Long As You're Not Clear!
Remember, Bill Murray's line in Space Jam. ("Larry's not white! He's clear!"

You're not clear, are you?


The Professor
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 10:15 AM
Response to Reply #25
27. Borderline Clear
but being the vain person that I am, I have no problem with the occasional self-tanning lotion
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ProfessorGAC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 10:17 AM
Response to Reply #27
28. I'm Borderline Dark
I look like i have a tan at Christmas time, in northern Illinois.

So, you and me, we run the gamut of whiteness.
The Professor
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tanyev Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 10:14 AM
Response to Original message
26. Thanks for this thread!
I'm very pale, too. Furthermore, I prefer staying inside and reading a book to sitting out in the hot sun and sweating. It's not smart to fry your skin.
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 10:21 AM
Response to Reply #26
30. That was me as a kid
The only time I'll lay out in the sun is if I happen to be at the beach. But then only if I have SPF500 and a massive beach umbrella.

But yeah, I'd rather be inside where it's cool enjoying a good book than to be in the sun frying
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MADem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 10:18 AM
Response to Original message
29. Add ten years to your real age
...and say, well, you can insult me all you want, but I think I look pretty good for XX years old! And I can always use spray on tan, but once you get a wrinkle, you ain't getting rid of it without some painful intervention.

That'll shut them up, or at least invoke feelings of suppressed jealousy.

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El Fuego Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 10:41 AM
Response to Original message
31. I hear ya LynneSin
I'm a "white girl" too!
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kodi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 10:48 AM
Response to Original message
32. yes, your skin may be fair, but are your boobies firm?
btw: when one comments about the fairness of your skin, just say:

"haven't you ever seen an albino with a tan before?"
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curlyred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 10:57 AM
Response to Original message
33. I have a fair skin story for you
I had a room mate in college who gasped when she saw me in shorts one day...she told me she thought I had white hose on. Under my shorts. Right.

As a fair skinned mother of two fair skinned daughters, we can all take care of ourselves. I look years younger than some of my friends because I was forced to avoid the sun. I hated it at the time, but it's been a good thing in the long run.
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tonekat Donating Member (832 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 11:00 AM
Response to Original message
34. Fair skinned people unite!
I love this thread! I can identify with you LynneSin, being of Irish/Scottish descent, I never, ever tan....just burn. Usually I plan ahead and take pains to avoid overexposure, but if I get fried on my face accidently, then I have to listen to idiots say "Got some sun, huh?"
Better to be pale than look like a "saddlebag with eyes".
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petronius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:31 PM
Response to Original message
35. Are you Circassian?
(apparently every thread in the Lounge today needs a movie reference...)
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leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:37 PM
Response to Original message
36. if your skin is only fair
why not take some advice from Miss Naugahyde of 1962?
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:46 PM
Response to Original message
37. .
:pals:
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:49 PM
Response to Original message
38. But what i don't understand is this;
Do you or don't you use sunscreen?

You really need to ya know!

:evilgrin:
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gypsy11 Donating Member (286 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 01:03 PM
Response to Original message
39. Another pale person here
I've had people tell me "you're so white you reflect the sun"
Whatever. It's who I am and I don't have much of a problem with it. :hi:
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RedCloud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 01:09 PM
Response to Original message
40. White , black and yellow not allowable skin colors!
Not unless you had a painting accident!

This funky jive ass honky headedness has some interesting medieval parallels where women tired to bleach their skin to look Michael Jacksonesque, er, white. Bleach killed a lot of them!

Try pale brown to dark brown: the true hue of humans!
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