Someone keeps telling me that I am ugly!

[elshiva]

Feel so helpless when that happens... :cry:

On edit: Yeah, I tell it to myself all the time, that I am ugly. I am a terrible stupid person.

[Teaser]

1. Here's a suggestion:

hit them.

[elshiva]

2. No dice. I am a pacifist.

[The Traveler]

21. That's OK

I'm not. :evilgrin: But pay 'em no never mind. Yer cool.

[Teaser]

51. I was too.

Until * got "elected."
Now I've decided that there is a time and place for the Dark Side of the Force.

[elshiva]

54. Wow. Sorry about that hon. Don't give in to the Dark Side!

[Crazy Guggenheim]

3. Just say "I wouldn't talk if I were you and I don't value your

opinion."

[Bullwinkle925]

4. I'm a-thinkin that only an 'ugly' person would say that to someone!

:hi:

[elshiva]

6. You guessed right!

:cry:

[progmom]

7. you're saying it to yourself, aren't you?

it's simply not true. you are so good at seeing the beauty in other people. please try to see the beauty in yourself. i see it.

[elshiva]

11. Thanks! Sure, but it is the truth. People been saying that all my life...

must be true...

If people saw me on this board they would all ignore me...

[progmom]

13. listen to the people here

we see your true self. your kindness and inner beauty. we keep saying it, so it must be true, right?

i obviously have no idea what you look like. short, tall, skinny, plump... but the person i see posting every day is wonderful and i love her. :hug:

[salin]

16. I work with a group of urban youth

one of the young ladies who has become very popular - is heavy, seriously bow-legged (effects her walking), with big glasses. But she is brilliant, encouraging of others, graceful with her academic success (doesn't "lord it over" others). Of course we adults respond to this girl - she is phenominal... but the way that she is embraced - and central to others is so encouraging to me, in terms of a view that perhaps some among our young are starting to respond more to the deep than to the dressing.

[progmom]

5. you're not ugly

and you need to remember that. :hug:

[jonnyblitz]

8. who in hell is telling you that?

:hug:

[Floogeldy]

9. Let me at 'em!

}(

[BikeWriter]

10. I'm sorry, Sweety, but I'd slap shit from their head. You are beautiful.

[elshiva]

12. Then hit me god damn it! Slap me! I am such a bitch!

[Bullwinkle925]

14. Not quite as bitchy as the woman married to my 'ex'-brother.

You have to replace your destructive talk with constructive talk.
If you haven't seen a therapist - I would highly recommend it.

[BikeWriter]

31. Nuh uh, you're just feeling down. We all are beautiful in someone's eyes.

[elshiva]

40. Thank you!

[dhinojosa]

15. Eh, just tell him....

"I reported your face to the local zookeeper and one of his baboons said he wants his ass back."

[Maestro]

68. Oh crap that is funny!

:silly:

[blue neen]

17. What kind of a horrible person would say something like that?

They obviously have no self-esteem, so they try to bring themselves up by picking on you.

You are beautiful. We value you here. Please value yourself...you're worth it. :)

[elshiva]

19. Thanks. Actually it is myself who is telling myself this...

it's a disorder and it is difficult... but thanks...

[salin]

25. For a period in my twenties, I did this

it was a wierd (but sorta understandable) result of being raped by someone I knew in my last year of college.

If I looked in the mirror and saw someone unattractive - than I would be less vulnerable to being viewed as "attractive" - by male friends / acquaintances - and thus "safer" from being raped.

Sorta sick, because rape really isn't about someone thinking you are attractive and over zealously wanting you that way. Thus the whole self-message is sorta irrelevant.

But sorta understandable (until I figured it out) - as otherwise I would be forever in fear that any male I encountered, worked with and was friends with might rape me. At that point in time - if I saw myself as ugly - I was no longer a possible target.

When I finally dealed with the root event (the rape) I started realizing all of the crazy way I coped. For a while in my twenties I wondered why I had been "cute" in my teens and suddenly became so "ugly" in my twenties. Truth is, I hadn't changed much - but my (subconscience - intentional) self image had - in a dysfunctional way to try to self-protect.

Odd, eh?

[elshiva]

29. Sorry, salin!

:hug: It's not odd! It is how you coped and survived!

[salin]

30. thank you elshiva

it took along time to take the veils from eyes - to see how it had effected me, but I survived in the short term (due to the coping mechanisms) - and have healed in the long term (due to realizing all those coping mechanisms for what they were.)

My point, however, is that perhaps your issue may be self-imposed as some kind of self-protection mechanism against something else altogether. Only due to the advantage of age, do I see this in my own life.

See my note about my experience with young teens (14-16) today. This group is a whole lot more 'deep' in terms of who they choose to radiate to, than I think my generation had been at their age. I find it very hopeful.

[elshiva]

34. You are welcome. salin.

That sounds like some nice kids! Now I am 23! ;(

[salin]

39. ah - you have many years

to gain wisdom and perspective. Things will turn out cool. The fact that you have some insight into this - means you can deal with it. Wasnt until my thirties that I realized that the thing I did "to protect myself" (without realizing I was doing it) - was simply that. Got over it - and came to appreciate myself again - physical and spiritually speaking. May you find that peace, as well.

[elshiva]

41. Thanks!

[blue neen]

27. Oh elshiva.

I hope you are getting treatment for that. Some of the things we have to deal with in life are so difficult.

You are a bright and shining light. Just remember that.

I'm sure it's very hard for you to share this with us. See how courageous you are?

Chin up, hon. The world's a better place with you in it.

[Wapsie B]

18. Don't let anyone put you down like that.

Please don't. I'm living proof that doing the biblical thing and turning the other cheek does no good when it comes to ones self-esteem and confidence. There is crap I'm struggling with because all I've done for years is let others reject me or berate me in some way. Find whatever works for you to stand up and tell them to kiss your ass.

[elshiva]

20. Actually, I can kick the crap out of myself and I have...

[progmom]

22. be careful with that

:hug:

[Wapsie B]

28. Tell me about it.

There's no one tougher on me than me. When we do that our enemies win without lifting a finger.

[FreedomFry]

23. Ugly is *. Ugly is his mother. Ugly is Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin ...

etc., etc., ad infinitum.

Ugly is some asswipe's ugly state of mind. Ugly is sadism, cruelty to animals, beating your wife, messing up your kids, running your country into the ground

AND...

.... calling other people ugly.

You are so far beyond whoever is calling you ugly. Don't let them have such power over you.

You are sensitive and sweet. Therefore:

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

And don't nobody tell you any different.

[sparky_in_ma]

24. Terrible stupid people

send other peoples children off to kill and be killed. Once you start doing that; you can call yourself names. Until then :hug:

[elshiva]

26. Actually I have hurt a lot of people, so yes I am ugly.

[sparky_in_ma]

32. So what you're saying

is you're really George Bush? You look so much taller on TV.:D

(I put the Clark pic on the other thread for you.)

[elshiva]

35. Thanks for the Clark pic! No I am Nixon! Just look...

[sparky_in_ma]

43. OMG

You seem so much smarter on DU than you ever did on TV.:silly:

How's your little dog Checkers?:D

[elshiva]

45. I ate Checkers. yum

[sparky_in_ma]

46. With gravy?

And a nice red wine?:P

[elshiva]

50. No with cottage cheese and ketchup of course.

[sparky_in_ma]

53. ewwww

No cottage cheese with dog burgers.:puke:

[elshiva]

55. Well, seriously Nixon loved to eat

ketchup and cottage cheese!

[sparky_in_ma]

56. I did not know that.

Proves you're smarter than me.:D

[elshiva]

57. Well it was in "The Fireside Watergate"

[HEyHEY]

33. Good, I'm glad you're ugly

That way you won't coast through life on looks like so many useless pieces of shit.

Drop Society, history proves it knows jack shit.

[elshiva]

36. HEyHEY you are a genius. Thank you!

[HEyHEY]

48. Of course I'm a genius I'm ugly!

And I have man boobs!

[Canadian Socialist]

60. Hey HeyHey

(I will never get bored with that). The next time I'm out in the Okanagan, we HAVE to get together and raise a few (Kokanees? Okanagan Spring? Some of my dad's "Christmas" brews... my folks now have a condo in Vernon, but their land is in Lumby FYI. Not that far from Penticton). We have to met, just to satisfy my curiousity. Now this is turning into some sort of socialistlovelorn.com site. Hey! I should do that thing... you know. Register it. But, being a socialist, I have no money. Sigh.

Sigh again. Too many Kokanees. Not enough brain power.

[HEyHEY]

63. Oh, shit yeah!

Should you ever come out my way... let me know! We'll drink Jameson till one of us sees god, or satan. I guess that will depend on which has an open schedule.
I'll tell you right now, your curiosity is wasted... I'm quite normal... I don't care what that fucking nurse at the psych ward says.

[Canadian Socialist]

66. Well, HeyHey

she might be my sister. Which would be like letting the fox be in charge of the chicken house. But, I digress. You could come out here to Alberta. And although I know that you are a young man, I won't hold that against you (unless you insist).

Okay, that was going into a territory to which I don't want to go... Let's take it off line, so to speak.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

37. What purpose can it serve to

put yourself down, hon?

Maybe you need to do unto yourself as you would do unto others. :hug:

[elshiva]

38. OK, but I am Nixon!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

42. Pretty

tricky.

[elshiva]

44. Tricky Dick that is!

[RevCheesehead]

61. I'm confused.

I thought you were Dick Cheney. :shrug:

[elshiva]

62. Couldn't I be both Cheney and Nixon?

[RevCheesehead]

64. Of course not...

because then you'd really BE ugly! :evilgrin:

[elshiva]

65. But I am both Cheney and Nixon!

[NMMNG]

47. Don't listen to people who tell you that

They are only trying to hurt you.


And don't tell yourself that you are ugly, terrible, stupid, etc. It will only cause more damage. You are a good person, worthy of being treated like one. Don't settle for anything less, from yourself or anyone else!:hug:

[Canadian Socialist]

49. Hey, little bunny

and I only say that to people I like. I am not the best looking person in the world (that would be Angelina Jolie. heee.) But after a certain amount of time, I realised it didn't matter. I am the way I look. I am neither ugly nor pretty (on the outside). I am (and you are too) absolutely fucking gorgeous on the inside. And someday, that will come out and knock someone down. As my dear old mum says, "Beauty is skin deep, but ugly... goes right to the bone". Some of the "ugliest" people I've met have been the most beautiful people. Just sayin... :pals:

[elshiva]

52. Thanks! You are sweet. Could Natalie Portman be the

best looking person in the world? Ask Kleeb...

[VelmaD]

58. Ok, this is important...

if you are not already recieving counseling of some kind...please please please try to get some help in dealing with this. You're a wonderful person and we can tell you that til the cows come home...but you need to get some professional help in getting yourself to believe it.

[Skittles]

59. did you hear this before growing up?

I WILL KICK THEIR ASS

[Nikia]

67. I struggle with this too

Last week, I went to a ANAD (Anorexia Nervosa and Asscoiated Disorders). Even though the other women who introduced themselves said they were in recovery, rather than in their disorder, they tended to think the same way that I did. They were all perfectionists who feared failiure and cared very much about what other people thought of them. Hearing them tell about how they struggled with such thinking helped me realize how destructive this thinking was in myself. One of the older women, who seemed to have it most together or at least talked a good talk, said though that she had come to realize that we should be satisfied with small success and not to view anything as faliure.
I don't know if you are a perfectionist or not. I don't know if you judge yourself against an ideal. You do evidently judge yourself somewhat against other people . Try not to do that. Be alright being you even if you cannot look as good as the person who you would want to look like or your friends or cousins or whoeve else you wish that you would look like. You are beautiful enough by just being you.