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Edited on Tue May-31-05 07:41 AM by Atlas Mugged
and then there's "bisexual". An incredible number of gay men identify themselves as "bisexual" as a means of transition: "I'm not a fag! I'm bisexual!". In the right crowd that, "I'll hump anything that has a pulse" posture has more acceptability than "I suck dick". And, it's something of a given that most bisexual men are tops, so it's not any serious blow (snickering allowed) to their masculinity. On the other hand, it can also be a coward's means to an end, which, I'm ashamed to admit, was what it was for me. I was sexually active in my mid teens (yes - 14) and it was the least stressful way to deal with my straight friends. This, needless to say, resulted in many relationships with women that should simply have never happened. I won't bore you with gory details...
I have known genuinely bisexual men and women. I've dated the men, and that's all it could ever be, dating. A serious relationship was impossible for me, since I was insisting on monogamy at a rather early age, and true bisexuals are usually thinking in terms of "the more the merrier". I was in the center of the 70's sexual revolution and was always the odd man out because I became very relationship oriented, and made no bones (snickering NOT allowed) about it. I almost resented that my self inflicted moral code (unusual for the era) made me something of a tourist in what everyone else perceived as fun. The "moral code" I mentioned had nothing to do with morality as it's usually interpreted, but an inferiority complex that resulted from a highly dysfunctional family. I overcompensated for the inferiorty complex by being overtly social and with a brutally savage sense of humor that everyone (except, perhaps, the victim) usually thought was hilarious. Fortunately, that's all sorted out now but it leaves me with a sense of radar when I hear people, usually of the christian right wing persuasion, yammering on about "morality"; some might call it a Bullshit Detector.
Having said all that, my reluctant posture on promiscuality had little to nothing to do with my not having caught AIDS. I was directly exposed, as I later discovered, to the HIV virus and simply didn't catch it. Later I was involved in a medical protocol for a long period of time that revealed that I may be one of those rare people who are actually immune thanks to a genetic defect. My current SO of 14 years has the same "defect"; that's how we met. His lover of 23 years died of AIDS and he (my SO) is completely free of the virus. He also did the "bisexual" transition into his own sexuality while still dating his high school sweetheart of 7 years, who, as fate would have it, was relieved to pursue her own interests - another woman. They're still extremely close friends.
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