If I were my neighbors I'd call the cops.

[trof]

It's almost 10 months since Hurricane Ivan, and my front and back yards still look like a combat zone after an artillery barrage.

Ivan blew over 19 oaks, which tore up huge root balls.
I still have 19 craters about a foot and a half deep and 6 to 10 feet across.
Can I get a few truckloads of dirt out here?
No!
Can I get pallets of sod?
No!
Can I get a landscaper to even give me an estimate?
No!

And now...NOW...the damn clutch went out on the riding mower and I can't even cut the weeds!
I think I'll have a little drink.
:toast:
I think I'l have a LOT of little drinks.
:beer::beer::beer::beer:
merde

[MissB]

1. Embrace your new landscaping,

courtesy of the famous landscaper, Mother Nature.

Hey, you have lots of firewood, right?

[trof]

4. If I only had a fireplace.

[CottonBear]

LOL!

Not too much need for a fireplace there in LA (Lower Alabama)!

You can get one of those cool outdoor fire pits from Lowes or a garden or outdoor shop. Or build a raised round one from rocks. Fill with sand, add a fire grate, add pavers and chairs and voila!
Instant landscaped seating area!

[trof]

25. Chiminea. I have one.

We haven't used it in 3 years.

[Maraya1969]

2. Where are you - I drove through Punta Gorda the other day and there

was still all sorts of debris around.

Yea, people in Florida move real fast.

[trof]

5. LA (Lower Alabama)

Half way between Mobile and Pensacola. We were on the eastern eye wall.

[Bunny]

3. Well then I'd say a drink is an excellent idea!

Mazel tov! :D

[trof]

6. My choices are limited.

skoal

[CottonBear]

7. The relief money went to rich folks in South Florida who didn't need it.

Drink up! :toast:

Have you thought of making a golf course or BMX/dirtbike course in your yard?

I'm a landscape architect and I always say:
It's not a problem, it's a design opportunity! :)

My Nana and PawPaw lived in Orange Beach. They were on a little slough off the bay. The house was not right on the water like the other homes nearby. The house and boats survived Frederick with just minor damge. The homes around them didn't fare so well.

[trof]

9. Where y'at?

I might be willing to pay plane fare.
;-)
You could make a mint here right now. Landscapers are booked for a year.

[CottonBear]

13. Athens, GA.

I specialize in the use of native plants and trees and urban tree managment issues.

Only problem is I'd have to take leave from my full-time job.

If you have digital pictures you could post them and I could give you some online advice. PM me if you'd like if you want me to take a look at the disaster zone!

Did you have live oak trees? I bet it's gonna bet hot with out the shade this summer. Trellises, arbors and pergolas with vines are great for quick shade and adding "structure" to the garden. You can grow anything from grape vines, to ornamental deciduous vines to evergreen vines and climbing veggies.

edit: Your best value is to replant good quality young trees. Are you planning on staying there?

[trof]

33. We are definitely doing native, draught resistant plants.

[caty]

8. Sounds like your yard

has that sexy, wind blown look.:evilgrin:

[trof]

10. If the Maginot Line was sexy, my yard is a Playmate.

[koopie57]

11. absolutely !!!

and the warm and cozy lived-in look too.

[Elidor]

12. I like your approach to this problem

I think I'll join you.

[trof]

22. Thanks. It's my standard approach to most problems.

[CottonBear]

14. Borrow a goat and stake it out to graze or fence off areas.

I bet you can get a BBQ goat around there. Fatten it up then sell it back to the goat dealer.

[Robb]

17. That's the kind of "can-do" attitude

...that made this country great! :D

Or the drinking thing. That works too. :silly:

[CottonBear]

18. Why not both! Brainstorm: I've got it: Kudzu!

Just cover up the whole yard, stumps, holes and all. No need for further landscaping. Fence off the area around the house and put the goats in there to keep the Kudzu at bay! Continue to drink inside the fenced area.
I'm fucking brilliant! :)

[trof]

28. Kudzu would work. It's the mulching of it that's the problem.

You mulch kudzu with concrete blocks.
They're expensive.
;-)

[CottonBear]

30. Yep. And you fertilize it with diesel fuel!

But think of the quick coverage you'll be able to achieve!
;)

[trof]

34. We use used crankcase oil.

It's a lot cheaper.

[trof]

23. Funny you should mention goats.

I've wanted a goat ever since I was 5 and The Goat Man would bring his goats and goat-cart around the neighborhood for rides. I think it was a nickel. Maybe a dime. He also did birthday parties.

There are several goat farms (dairies?) in our area.
Miz t. won't let me get a goat.
Philistine!

[CottonBear]

27. Come on Miz t., let trof have a goat! Please. Pretty please?

I've heard of pony rides but not goat rides. The Goat Man and his goats and goat-cart must have been wonderful. I love animals.

I have a horse. I wish she could live with me. Eventually, I've gotta get a place with land. I'd let her stick her head in the windows and grave in the backyard!

[trof]

35. The Goat Man

The Goat Man's wandering days began in Southeastern Iowa where he had always been known as something of an eccentric. Beginning in 1915 when at the age of 14 he ran off to New York City where he sold newspapers, married a 24 year old Spanish maiden and served as a target for her knife throwing act for two years, until the early thirties when he finally went on the road for good, he had a wanderlust that, fired by reading Robinson Crusoe, could not be slaked.

Needing a gimmick, he had his wife sew some goat-skin clothes for himself and their young son, Albert Gene. He then designed two goat-skin covered wagons and together the three set off for parts unknown. Later, he claims that his wife grew tired of the rigors of the road, left him and Gene and returned to Iowa. Gene ended up living part time with her family and the Goat Man was left on his own to continue his journey. A journey that would last until 1987 and cover a total of seven decades if the years of traveling without goats are counted.
http://www.stalkingthewild.com/america's_goat_man.htm

[CottonBear]

37. Oh my! How interesting! Thanks!

:)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

15. If I were your neighbors, I'd bring over my tractor mower...do your lawn

and drink your booze :D

[trof]

29. The first really sensible answer.

Thank you.

[1monster]

16. Sounds like you have a great opportunity to create an oriental garden

complete with a series of interconnecting koi pools.

First, connect the root balls holes by digging channels between them. Then line the holes and channels with river rock or marble chips. Build arched oriental-style bridges over the channels where necessary to make a walkway through your garden. Add an occasional bench, and plants that will grow with little care and enhance the beauty of your garden. (Confederate jasmine comes to mind and it emits a heavenly scent around May. Day Lilies bloom from late spring until late fall and require almost no care at all after establishing.)

Fill your new fish pools with water, place water plants in your pools, and then introduce the koi to their new homes.

I expect to hear that you have won the local garden club's Annual Landscaping Improvement Award. :D

http://www.vcnet.com/koi_net/

[CottonBear]

19. Excellent idea! Are you a gardener?

Magnolias and Live Oak trees would be appropriate for screening, summer flower and large canopy shading. Add azaleas for spring color and gardenias for the scent.

[1monster]

21. Amateur BC (Before children)...

I haven't had much time for it the last fourteen years... hence the day lilies, which are a godsend.

[CottonBear]

24. I love day lilies. I've got to plant some tomorrow!

I'm a firm believer in the low-maintenance landscape. I love native plants and hardy ornamentals. I'm too busy to fuss over plants. I have a 30 foot tall Crape Myrtle in my terrace garden,dwarf Yaupon Hollies, Nandinas, day lilies, a butterfly bush, Ageratum, tulips and daffodils, dwarf gardenias and Louisiana irises. My garden is at my townhouse. The front is western exposure and the terrace is eastern exposure.

[trof]

31. The great blue herons LOVE koi.

My neighbor tried a koi pond.
It took the herons about a week to wipe them out.
He even tried chain link fence (VERY attractive) over the pond.

[1monster]

40. Hey, Great Blue Herons gotta eat too, ya know! Okay, rethink:

How 'bout those robotic fish they sell in the pool departments these days? Never need to worry about feeding them or whether the water chemicals are just perfect and all. :)

[Elidor]

20. I'm calling your neighbors & urging them to call the cops!

:evilgrin:

[warrens]

26. Get a mohawk, a Gibson flying V, some knee high leather boots

And just call yourself the Punk Landscaper.

[trof]

32. I have a reverse Mohawk.

No hair down the middle.
Fringe on the sides.
What's a Gibson...oh...a guitar?
I have a swinette.

[trof]

36. What a nice little thread this was. Thank you all.

Nobody told me to suck it up and get over it.
Nobody chastised me for my attitude.
The replies were witty and/or actually helpful.
I think the lounge is back to what passes for normal here.
It feels good.
:-)

[CottonBear]

38. You're welcome!

Have a great Memorial Day weekend! :toast:
:hi: :party: :patriot: :) :hi: :party: :patriot: :)

[trof]

39. Outside of the yard, things are fine, thanks.

I'm sitting here, sipping a Scotch & soda, looking out at porpoises in the bay (beyond my devastated yard).
Life is good.
Or at least, OK.

[MidwestMomma]

41. If I could sit in my yard, sip Scotch and watch porpoises

I wouldn't do yard work either :)

The most exciting thing you can see from my yard is....wait, nope, can't think of a dang thing.

Have a nice weekend. Enjoy the view! :hi: