May the Force Please Go Away

[alcibiades_mystery]

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/gate/archive/2005/05/25/notes052505.DTL&nl=fix

Can we just say it? Can we admit it now? Is it finally time?

Here goes: Thank the great Sith Lord above that the massive computer-driven marketing hellbeast that is the overblown "Star Wars" epic is finally over.

There I said it. Can we agree? Because the truth is, this most bloated of megamovie franchises hasn't been a certifiable cultural phenom, something to get truly excited about, for over 25 years. Admit it now, get it over with, move on to pretty happy things like puppies and porn and sunshine.

Look, I'm sorry, but I don't care how many gazillions the last three flicks have made at the box office from ubergeeks too old to get "Harry Potter" and too emotionally immature to graduate to real movies. Episodes I-III are mostly one thing and one thing only: huge exercises in CGI acrobatics, manic video games writ large, numbly awful movies full of fine actors reduced to stiff mannequins in bad monk robes and uncomfortable headpieces delivering stone-cold line readings seemingly written by that slightly twitchy tin-eared dweeb who sat next you in fifth-grade algebra, sweatingly.

----SNIP---

more...hilarious and deadly accurate. I'd go further and say that what the last three movies prove is that the first three movies were really, really bad too...:evilgrin:

[matcom]

1. YES!!

:thumbsup:

[Shoeempress]

2. But the 1st 3 were awful in that crappy cheap movie way, whereas

the last three are "HOLLYWOOD HITS" awful.

[Avalux]

3. You are certainly entitled to your opinion

But I love the movies and I am NOT emotionally immature or stilted in any way.

I can watch those films and feel the same excitement I did when I was 12...THAT is something. I don't expect anything more than silly entertainment - I kinda feel sorry for those who don't get it. :hi:

[alcibiades_mystery]

6. Like Morford

I kinda feel sorry for those who do get it (but my pity and patience are wearing thin...);-)

[Bread and Circus]

4. Seems like a spiteful, hateful article. The author probably has emotional

issues.

[alcibiades_mystery]

5. Oh, I think the spite in it is wonderful

Hell, I've been waiting for somebody to say it:


8) Did I mention Chewbacca? Did I mention that maddening commercial where Chewbacca is in the booth recording sounds for the new series of "Star Wars" cell phone ring tones and oh my freaking God let's just imagine that for a moment, the pale little sexually denuded dude sitting next to you in the café who gets a call on his Nokia and when it rings it sounds like that weird famous Chewbacca howl, and you turn and look at him and wonder what he might look like if he exploded into a million bloody little geek-boy pieces like, right now.

---snip---

:rofl:

[matcom]

7. my favorite:

2) Unfortunately, now the media coverage of such geeks will simply switch over to sad psychochristian fanatics who are already lining up for Mel Gibson's "Passion of the Christ" sequel, "Dead Things I Pulverize with a Cuisinart and Then Smear All Over My Hairy Catholic Chest."

:rofl:

[alcibiades_mystery]

8. kick

[matcom]

9. kick for some funny shit

:kick:

[alcibiades_mystery]

11. One of the funny things, I guess

for those of us who have never really identified with the Star Wars geeks, or the fantasy geeks, or any other brand of oh-so-subversive geekosity, is the chance to say to the geeks: get over yourself, please. These films are not "high art;" nor do they contain any dazzling political content that couldn't be derived from a short study of Clifford The Big Red Dog. They are not fascinating plot-wise, and the dialogue is just plain awful. They get much of their currency, I suspect, by being geek-friendly, in a world of supposed unfriendliness to geeks. But if you were never really a geek, you just have to shrug at the whole thing. Is this an unpopular position? Who knows. I've noticed that many people on DU seem to retain some real or imagined scars of former or current geekosity. That's fine. I was never a geek, but I also never oppresed the geeks; I just kinda shrugged. I still think it's fair to say "Here's what it looks like from the outside of the geek fishbowl," and I think that this article gets it just about right.

[Evergreen Emerald]

10. ok, I will say it: (careful, may give something away)

IT WAS SOOOO BORING. And the dialogue was predictable and not clever in the least. When Darth vader came out of the "surgery" with a cape, I just had to laugh.

And really: "NOOOOOOOO!" when he discovered that he killed his beloved? Could not compare to "STELLA!" And simply not convincing.

It was one hour of people in capes talking about nonsense and
1 1/2 hours of people dodging space ship ammo.

And the way the bad guy kept saying: "daaak foce" in a whisper, for dark force) We are still laughing about it.

Sorry. I'd rather watch a DVD of Johnny Depp in Pirates.

[Deep13]

12. Sorry, but ...

... the Force will be with you, always.
B-)

[alcibiades_mystery]

13. aaaaaaak!

I fear your right....;-)