I am Ladycutus of Borg...

[Ladyhawk]

Guess what I have to wear while I sleep every night:

1. cervical collar (It's a 24-hour-a-day deal, but sometimes I just have to take it off...ARRRGGGGHH!!!)

2. CPAP mask (It keeps my airways open so I don't stop breathing at night.)

3. Bone Stimulator (It's a magnetic device that is supposed to cause the donor bone to fuse more readily with my vertebrae. I put the battery pack on a belt that goes around my waist. The electrodes attach to my neck.)


Wheeee!!!! :D

[Lannes]

1. Sounds rough

How long do you have to wear it? and BTW dont assimilate me!!!

[Ladyhawk]

6. I still have about 2 1/2 months to go.

As for the CPAP? I may have to wear it forever.

[AlienGirl]

2. What do the Pliers-Faced Flying Toddlers think of it?

[Ladyhawk]

4. Gabby isn't too happy. He'd just managed to get over

my hair color suddenly changing. :)

He's (finally) reasonably well-adjusted to the cervical collar and he's had a couple of years to get used to the CPAP. When I lived at my other apartment, it was so hot in my bedroom that I closed it off for the summer and lived in my living room. Every morning I'd wake up with a one-pound, green-and-yellow lump on my chest. As soon as my eyes opened, the lump would say, "Hello!"

Gabby was very respectful of the CPAP equipment, but I don't know if the bone stimulator would live through a "plying" episode. Gabby would think he was doing me a favor by preening those pesky rubbery sheaths off the wires. I mean, keratin sheaths on feathers get itchy...poor, poor bone stimulator...think how itchy it must be!

Gideon's motto: when your only tool is pliers, everything looks like it needs plying!

LOVE THAT!^^^

[AlienGirl]

7. Yeah, Gidi thinks wires must be itchy too

He tried to "help" the network cable a couple weeks ago. I guess the copper wires needed a scratch. And his new enemy is this "squish" pillow that seems to be unrippable--he tries to fight it all day long!

Tucker

[Ladyhawk]

8. LOL! Gabby just killed one of his jingle-bell balls.

He likes to pick them up in a foot and "ring" them like he does his bells, but finally his destructive nature gets the better of him and he has to rip the plastic part to bits to get to the jingle bell. Hmmph...a jingle-bell ball would last about half a second with an umbrella cockatoo. I'm lucky the Gab-meister isn't that destructive. Cockatoos have some pretty impressive pliers!

I've only found one type of bell Gabby can't de-clapper. When I buy him other kinds, Gabby promptly removes the clapper, then can't figure out why the bell won't ring. It pisses him off. :)

[AlienGirl]

10. Gideon likes holding jingle-bell balls in his beak, and

SLAMMING them up and down like a hair-band rocker in full head-bang. Always makes me laugh!

Does Gabby squak at toys he's pissed at because they won't "play" anymore?

Tucker

[Ladyhawk]

16. Gabby's reaction to bells that won't ring is to growl at them and attack

them, viciously. Luckily, Gabby isn't much of a squawker. He yells occasionally when I'm out of sight. It's a contact yell, meaning, "Where the hell are you?" He also yells my name, which is a hoot. It usually goes like this:

Gabby: "Laura?!"
(pause)
Gabby: "LAURA?!"
(pause)
Gabby: "LAURA?!"
(pause)
Gabby (to himself): "Where's that Laura?"
Gabby: "Laura?!"
Laura (finally giving in): "What?!"
Gabby: "Hello!"
Laura: "Hi!"
Gabby: "How are you?"
Laura: "I'm fine. How are you?"
Gabby: "I'm fine."

If I don't go see him, this will repeat endlessly. :)

[AlienGirl]

19. LOL!

Gideon's contact call is a jungle screech. Fortunately, he usually stops short of that, and contents himself with "Hi! What'cha doin'?" to which I have to reply...which is followed again by "HI! What'cha doin'?" and so on...in increasingly cuter tones of voice!

Tucker

[Ladyhawk]

11. Hmmmm, maybe I should just tell Gabby I've started picking my feathers

and that I need the cervical collar to help me stop.

[AlienGirl]

14. LOL! That might work!

[HawkerHurricane]

3. We are the Anglo-Saxon collective.

Your cultural and linguistic distinctiveness is at an end.
All useful parts of your culture and language will be absorbed into our own.
Resistance is futile.
Lower your pants and prepare to be boarded.

[Ladyhawk]

5. ROTFLMAO! n/t

[Deja Q]

9. I had them use my own bone instead for my surgery, but...

it was PAINFUL to walk for a while (I had bought a cane before my surgery because of my tendency to trip) and I've got this ugly scar too. I might tattoo in something that reads "Quarters only" or something... After all, who's going to see it? O8)

Best of luck in your recovery! These surgeries are 80~90% effective; just be sure to keep the collar on always (though when showering, get a second el-cheapo one from target).

:hug:

[Ladyhawk]

13. Hi HypnoToad. I've been keeping your advice in mind during

this new adventure. I've been a good girl for the most part. Right now, it's hot and I want the damn collar off because I'm dripping sweat. Ack!

I've been taking my calcium supplements and sleeping with the collar on. I have a water-resistant collar for the shower (two of them actually) and I haven't driven my car. That last bit is getting hard, though. I live in a town where it's necessary to have a car. IHSS can do some shopping for me, but I've had to let family back into my life. It was either that or starve. I decided not to starve. :)

It's been almost four weeks now...doesn't seem that long. I tried once again to do without my pain pills today. Bad choice. I'm still not sure how effective the surgery was, but since it's still early, I'm not panicking.

The surgery took SIX HOURS! The surgeon wasn't expecting my vertebrae to be so tiny, so he had to whittle away on the donor bone to get the right fit. When I woke up, the first thing I did was make sure my hands and arms worked. Then I made sure my legs and feet worked. Then I asked what time it was...SIX O'CLOCK????? SIX HOURS in surgery.

BTW, that morphine...man, that's good shit.

[AlienGirl]

15. Morphine is yummy

When I was hurting, nothing was better than to climb into bed, slam some morphine and Ny-Quil, turn on the TV, and wait for sleep to catch up to me...

Tucker

[Ladyhawk]

17. They only let me have it until about noon the next day...bummer.

Like I said...morphine is good shit.

[AlienGirl]

20. Oxycodone can be like that too!

[Ladyhawk]

22. OxyCodone wasn't as good and it made me itch like a sonofabitch. :)

I like Demerol, too. That's yummy. :)

[KitchenWitch]

23. I have had seizures from Demerol

The last major surgery I had, I had dilaudid. Oxycodone (as far as oral meds for pain) works well for me, Hydrocodone makes me itch like crazy.

[LynneSin]

12. I"m getting a CPAP

although I was only borderline for it, they think it'll help with me getting a decent night sleep since basically I get about 20 minutes of productive sleep a night

[Ladyhawk]

21. It should help you.

At first, it's hard to sleep with that crazy contraption glued on like one of those face huggers from Alien. Now I feel naked without it. Of course, I have to sleep on my back for the most part. Turning over with all three contraptions is a big deal. :)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

18. Oh boy, that all sounds like so much fun! ugh...

However, all those things are helping you heal, and that is the important thing! KEEP THE GOAL IN VIEW! But still...ugh...


:pals:


:hug:

[Ladyhawk]

24. I can deal with the contraptions. :)

The difficult part of all this is the cabin fever and feeling of isolation. Things would be so much better if I had a good, close friend.