Public proposals of marriage: Yea or nay?

[Bunny]

Nearly everyone has heard of someone who proposed to his girlfriend in a publicly spectacular way. Nearly all of these proposals come as a complete surprise to the woman.

A famous one was when sportscaster Ahmad Rashad proposed to Phylicia Ayers Allen during the live broadcast of an NFL game. This was around 20 years ago, I think.

I just saw an E-Harmony commercial where one of the men got on bended knee and proposed to his girlfriend, while they were filming the commercial. His proposal and her response became the commercial.

What do you think of this? I've been proposed to twice in my life, and both times were private, with just me and the man present. I'm a very private person, so I was grateful that neither one of them decided to have his proposal put up on the Jumbo-Tron or something!

I would have been terribly embarrassed and probably a little annoyed at being the object of such a spectacle. But that's just me. Maybe other women would be thrilled and flattered by such a gesture. And, the guy is certainly sticking his neck out, too. He'd better feel pretty darned sure that she'll say yes!

Ladies - would you enjoy that? Has it happened to you? What did you do?
Guys - would you ever do that? Have you done it? What was the response?

[MuseRider]

1. Nooooooo

it happened to me. BAD idea unless you are really, REALLY sure. I am not sure why he thought it was a good idea. Public engagement, private disengagement.

[Shoeempress]

2. Total power trip to pressure you into saying yes.

[AlienGirl]

3. Yay! I, for one, would like it.

[liberalhistorian]

4. I've never had a proposal, but I can tell you now

that I would want it to be a private affair, maybe at a quiet corner booth at a favorite restaurant, or something like that. I would NOT want it to be public. But I do know that there are plenty of other women who feel differently and actually like that kind of public proposal. I think the guy should be REALLY REALLY sure beforehand.

[Reverend_Smitty]

5. I've yet to be proposed to...

but I agree with you...I'd much rather have it happen in an intimate setting and rather not have to share the moment with 20,000 other people but hey that's just me. With that said it my SO did that and I wanted to marry him, I wouldn't turn him down but hopefully he would know me well enough to know that is something I wouldn't like

[LynzM]

6. I wouldn't be thrilled with it...

For me, I've always felt like it was a private moment that should be shared between a couple, whichever way the proposee decides.... but I'm sure there are women out there who enjoy it. I'm not saying I'd have an issue with a public place, just a very vocal and public proposal, I guess.

[VelmaD]

7. I think that would be the death-knell of the relationship for me

I would consider it undue pressure to say yes and I would take it as a sign that the guy really lacked insight into my basic personality.

[alarimer]

8. Big NO

I hate being the object of attention in public- just hate it. I would probably say no to anyone who did that to me since obviously they should know me better than to think I would like that sort of thing.

[luvLLB]

9. No, nope.

[amazona]

10. too much pressure

If a public display is required, then it's all about him, and who needs it.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

11. Nay...

My husband and I both just kind of decided that we were going to get married. We didn't do any formal proposal with a ring.

I think I would be really embarrassed by a public proposal, and I imagine a lot of other people would feel the same way. I think it really puts the person being proposed to in an awkward situation if they don't want to get married. I guess it's OK if you know your mate is into getting lots of attention and you are very certain they want to marry you also (like you've talked about it a few times before).

[tigereye]

12. hmmm

mine was private, well, with a few friends around. But I suppose some folks would take it as a wonderful declaration of how solid their feelings for each other were. I know the few I have seen, on Letterman or the Tonight Show were kind of moving - the person wants the world to know how much they care for that person. I think it's kind of sweet, although I can't say that I would want that for myself.

[Deja Q]

13. No way. No marriage blab. No touching. No caressing.

Hetero or homo or especially hetero as they freely flaunt their gross-out acts.

[yewberry]

14. YAAAAY!!

Yeah, I was publicly proposed to. I was pretty neat.

The short version: I was working at a restaurant across the street from a little theater here in town. I pulled up one day and the marquee read: Marry me, Rachel?

Uh-uh, I didn't just see that.

So, I walked ovet Sea-Thai to get myself some fried tofu. Back to the work, yup, the sign's still the same. I walked over to the box office and they claimed ingorance.

So, into work I went, the staff standing around and beaming at me. And when I walked into my bar, there was Cam, all shy and clasping my favorite orchids. It was really wonderful. 'Course, I had to answer questions about it at work all night--but I also got to hear regulars reminiscing about my proposal for years afterward. That's kind of nice.

We've been married for six years. And yes, he was pretty sure I'd say yes.

[terrya]

15. It looks so romantic in the movies. But in real life...no

For the reasons mentioned.

[Amaya]

16. No, no, no

My now ex-husband proposed in front of his entire family! Of course, I said yes. Big mistake.

[swag]

17. Another beautiful expression of narcissism,

that is the public proposal.

[enigmatic]

18. No...

I'll always remember a story a few years ago about a woman who set up an entire wedding w/ her family and friends that her botfriend knew nothing about until he was brought to the church where it was held under the guise of something else; to the guy's credit I guess he went along w/ the ceremony, but I couldn't help wonder how their marriage turned out.

If it had been me, I would turned around and walked out..

[Bunny]

19. OMG! Now THAT is nuts!

What could she have been thinking? Talk about pressure!

[Left Is Write]

22. I would have too.

[supernova]

20. No huge public displays for me thanks

Being the center of attention gives me the willies anyway.

I would prefer just a quite discussion somewhere that is special to us. And the ceremony is the same: I'd prefer to elope. I'm not into the whole wedding business either.

Of course, he would have to be pretty damn special and understanding to to understand me.

[Left Is Write]

21. I wouldn't like it.

I prefer a proposal much less public.

[SOteric]

23. I yarked on his shoes.

And no, I didn't marry him.

But it wasn't personal, he was a nice enough guy. I just really wasn't ready for it.