Advice? I'm going to repost something I deleted earlier.

[Ladyhawk]

Sorry, this got long. I'm just rather emotional about it, I suppose.

irst of all, for various reasons I have come to the conclusion I don't like my brother. Not even a little bit. There have been times when being in his presence has made me physically ill. When we were kids, he beat up on me and tortured animals in front of me. Once, we were walking along a river and came to some swallow nests under a bridge. He started picking up huge rocks and hurling them at the swallow nests. Nearly-fledged baby swallows started falling into the river. I started to wade out to save them, but my brother told me they carried diseases, so I was afraid to pick them up.

I didn't have Christmas this year because I had had enough of my family. But the Christmas before that my brother got a whistle of some sort to put on his truck to alert deer to his approach. I said, "Oh cool, I'd like one of those so I'd be less likely to hurt a deer." My brother sneered. "Who cares about the deer," he said, "I just don't want my car dented." I pointed out that a car can be fixed, but that a life, once gone, can't be brought back. "And I suppose your concern for the deer makes you a good person?" he said. I was pissed. "As a matter of fact, it does."

Now, as for you hunters who actually eat what you kill, I don't have any quarrel with you, but killing should never be taken lightly. As far as my brother is concerned, he doesn't give a shit about animals and his cruelty to beings that have no power is very telling. For me, it is chilling.

My brother works as a correctional officer at a local prison. He has hinted that he uses violent methods to interrogate prisoners. :( When he worked San Quentin's death row, he used to tell me stories of how he made life as miserable as he possibly could for the inmates. He'd walk past cells singing, "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is." This was a reference to California's gas chamber. He expected me to laugh at this...like it was some cool joke. His "humor" is rather cruel.

As you can imagine, he's a true Rethuglican, listens to Limbaugh and gets all his news from Drudge and Faux. He's also an Ayn Rand objectivist and has told me many times that selfishness and greed are good values. Greed is his god and his bible is Atlas Shrugged.

This weekend he is taking his son--my nephew--to see Star Wars: Episode III. Now, it is quite likely I'm the biggest Star Wars geek on this forum. Ask Mr. Scorpio. :) I have knick-knacks and collectibles, books up the ying-yang, could probably quote Episodes IV and V verbatim. Yes, I am very, very geeky when it comes to Star Wars, so this is a big event for me.

I have missed my nephew so much during the time I've been away from family. I wanted to visit him at his mother's house, but it's an hour away and I have not been well enough to travel that distance. This weekend, I could go with my brother and my nephew to see the movie, but if it is obviously anti-Bush, I'm not sure I want to be around my brother. I've wanted some time alone with my nephew to convince him not to enlist in the army as his step-brother did. My brother's new gf let her 17-year-old pre-enlist and her daughter is planning to enlist in the Air Force. I don't want my nephew to follow that path. Of course, he must choose his own destiny, but I'm sure he's not getting all the information he needs. His mom is a crazy fundy and his father is a cruel, greedy, Bush-lover.

I need to see my nephew, but even now the idea of having to share space with my brother makes me feel ill. Awhile back he asked me why I wouldn't let family help me with emotional difficulties. All I could say is, "I have my reasons." What good would it do to tell him that family is a big cause of my emotional difficulties? How does one tell one's brother, "I don't like you. I hate what you represent and what you stand for"? My mother--fundy though she is--does have some redeeming qualities. My brother, on the other hand, would be happy in the role of jack-booted Amerikan Nazi.

I want to see my nephew. I don't want to see my brother. I can't have it both ways...or can I? Maybe I could say, "Darn, I can't see it then. Could I pick up Ross and take him to see it a second time?" That might work...might not.

What should Ladyhawk do?

[Madrone]

1. Can you do a

"weekend with auntie" sort of thing where you have your nephew over for a visit and do fun stuff? Maybe semi-regular visits of that nature are in order... That's what I would shoot for. Better than trying to be around him AND the brother where you can't be as candid or relaxed.