Headlines We'd Like To See, May 17, 2005

[skip fox]

Cheney's Portfolio Tripled Under Oil For Food Scandal

Cheney's Worth Tops One Billion Through Brides


others???

[skip fox]

1. Where's DU's incredible imagination today.

Give a donation then come back and write a headline.

[Zuni]

2. Newsweek implicated in Wendy's Chili scandal

[skip fox]

3. Bush Plans To Privatize Bank Fraud

:toast:

[skip fox]

4. First Admendment:: Bush Claims Newsweek Not Free To Lie

Shuts Down Magazine On Basis It's Sold To Government Employees

[skip fox]

5. President Asks Congress To Define Free Speech

:toast:

[Zuni]

6. Bush decides to hand Isakoff over to Islamic mob in Pakistan to appease

Muslims "Nothing to see here" says the WH

[skip fox]

7. President's Plan: Licence And Sell Free Speech

Prices may start at $1,000/year for individuals who do not publish and who only talk to themselves.

[skip fox]

8. President Proposes So. African "Necklace" For Isakoff

(Consists of tire round neck filled with burning gasoline.)

:toast:

[Zuni]

9. DeLay lobbies for Colombian Necktie

[skip fox]

10. President's Antics Reroute Air Force One to Bangor, ME

:toast:

[Zuni]

11. Grovelbot arrested for indecent exposure, public intoxication