Ready to LOL? *WARNING* Lynne Cheney remarks at Chicago underpass

[underpants]

Seriously *WARNING* this is one of the funniest things I have read in a while but there is some language and images that deserve a *WARNING*
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http://whitehouse.org/news/2005/042205.asp

REMARKS BY LYNNE CHENEY TO CHICAGO CHRISTIANS HUDDLED AT ROADSIDE SHRINE TO THE VIRGIN MARY'S IMPENETRABLE VAGINA


MRS CHENEY: Chicagoans, I am so moved to stand on this sacred patch of dank and sooty roadway with you today. Of course, I came as soon as I heard what's been going on.

It was my daughter Mary who brought this glorious Heavenly Ladyhole to my attention. Apparently, a pack of Catholics thought that the Virgin Mary (the one who isn't my daughter) was being less generous, less personal in what she chose to show the faithful. But when it comes to apparitions, I have learned never to trust those Papists. They will start worshipping your poop if you don't flush fast enough! Frankly, I never thought I would see the day when I was happy for my daughter to spend hours worshipping an enormous gaping vagina! But it was with her scientifically significant sampling that we were able to determine that this apparition is anatomically correct in every detail – except for the disconcertingly engorged mega-clitoris that appears to bob and wink at passing truckers.

(Applause)

I just moments ago spoke to Father Francis O'Garland. He is the Catholic priest carrying his cute-as-a-button companion, who I just wanted to hug to death because he looked just like that Macaulay Culkin boy in Home Alone. I explained to Father Francis what a vagina looked like, then helped him clear the subsequent violent eruption of vomit off of his tunic. Father Francis was able to interrupt his doting attention of his little friend long enough to tell me that it is clear that the Holy Mother had become tired of nonbelievers questioning whether she ascended into Heaven with all her lady parts fully intact. As a definitive refutation to doubting thomases everywhere who fail to unblinkingly swallow up whatever the Vatican chooses to shovel in their direction, the Holy Mother has taken the unusual step of projecting her formidable vagina on a highway underpass. This way, Father Francis said, people who aren't in a rush or don't worry about being sideswiped or asphyxiated by auto fumes, can do a thorough point-by-point gynecological inspection worthy of Mr. Goodwench – to verify that even though an enthusiastic flushing with a bracing vinegar douche would not be remiss, Mary's hymen is still visible – even from a speeding minivan.

[DS1]

1. Good stuff

I can't wait for the inevitable OMG IS THIS REAL?!>>!!! replies :D