another low week....will they ever stop?

[rppper]

http://www.news-journalonline.com/NewsJournalOnline/News/Local/03AreaEAST02051305.htm

Wednesday i lost a friend and coworker to a murder/suicide. Cheryl was 37, a former minister and a substance abuse counselor. her life was dedicated to getting sick people well and helping them with their issues. she led 2 2hr groups with my clients dealing with anger management...a very important part of an addicts recovery is dealing with anger, and she was very good at her job, enough so that we had to spend the day grief counseling them, not to mention ourselves.

her estranged husband was the shooter. they were in the process of getting divorced. he also beat her. he worked with our company too, as a youth athletic coach at our juvy facilities. i had seen her come in with bruises on her arms and legs...once a shiner above her right eye...i saw what was happening, but she was always so happy and energetic i took her excuses as fact...i should have known better...

she was in denial, or just possibly not wanting her home life to affect the clients here...i saw my sister get the hell beat out of her for 15 years as a kid....the marks on my friend should have set off bells..they did, but i ignored them...i'll go with gut instinct from here on out.....

when the companies grief counselors came in to talk to us, i shocked one of them, who obviously was closer to the husband, by saying he was a coward, a self loathing coward to be precise...one who knew he didn't have the talent to bring happiness to people like his wife did...a failed major league ball player who beat his wife due to his inadequacies and decided that if he couldn't have her all to himself, no one would have her...if she could not make him happy, she would make no one else happy either. he was always getting on to her about her weight...that i knew about from our personal talks...always telling her she was getting fat....the old pro player mentality at work.

i had met him a few times....i didn't know him well, but i knew he had substance abuse troubles as well...he had just completed a 30 day rehab a few months back at our sister group in Jacksonville. he was one of the people that lobbied the upper management at our facility to stop letting the adult mens facility use the weight room at the juvy center....we had a whopping hour a week and our facility has no such amenities available. he was amicable to me, but i never really cared for him....now i see why.

her 10 y/o daughter found them btw...she also had a 12 y/o son....thank god they have their birth father to go to.\

i just lost my mother in April, an old friend a week before her. i have a brother who is being eaten up by hep.c ....i am surrounded by death....i am depressed over this but not dangerous to myself...just sad and angry. i need a break from all of this. i am holding back as i write this. it has really all hit home the last few days...life is such a fickle and delicate thing. i am sick of good people dieing all around me...this is why i question god...why does he let this happen...this is why i haven't seen the inside of a church in 16 years. i am so tired. so so tired.

[LynzM]

1. That is terrible....

I am so, so sorry to hear that.... :hug: There are some awful and terribly unfair things that happen in this world... I wish there were a way to make them better. I am so sorry to hear about your friend, and all the weights that are on your shoulders right now. Go ahead and let yourself cry, or yell, or do whatever you need to do... love and hugs to you :hug:

[demnan]

2. I'm so sorry

What an awful thing to happen so close after your friend's and mother's deaths. I don't know what to see except.

Meet Stephanie (no picture). My neighbor just got out of an abusive relationship took the bastard to court too. I don't know her really well but I've seen her a couple of times since. She has changed so much I hardly recognized her the last time. She wears bright clothes and does her hair differently. More importantly, she has a glow about her. She is so much more content. It is possible to get out from under a situation like this. I am still on the lookout, and if I see him or his Ford Contour anywhere on my street I'm to call her and let her know.

[BlondieK143]

3. There are no words for something like this.

All I can say is that may you be comforted and that we're all here for you. :hug: I'm so sorry.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

4. Oh, sweetie, i'm so sorry that you're going through all that...

And I know you question God about things like this, so did I, but i had to finally come to terms with one thing: God is not the only force working out in the world. There's evil, and it sounds like that woman's husband was evil. Just know that she holds a special place in heaven because of all the happiness she's brought to people's lives.
I too have had more than my fair share of death, which has left me with a bitter abusive mother who wishes I were dead instead of my older sister. I was sad and bitter and angry for a while, but then I took that energy and put it into making those people around me who I knew were still there happy and the bitterness and anger melted away. I don't know what happens when we die, but I know it has to be better than what we see here in this life. It has to be.
Life is a fickle and delicate thing. Which just goes to show that we need to respect it more and live it like there is no tomorrow. Don't let this make you bitter. Please let this appreciate life more and make you live your life to the fullest extent. Because if you get bitter, what's the use in living? Here's a :hug: I know it doesn't help much and these words might not either, but please know that I can empathize with you because I've been in your shoes. If you need someone to vent to, I'm a very good listener. I'm here for you if need me.
Duckie

[SarahB]

5. That's terrible.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. And thank you as well. :hug:

[Hugin]

6. .

Just a note to say I read your message.

A tragic loss for you and everyone.

Every way from here is up. Keep that in mind.