I think I have to move

[demnan]

My neighbors above me are just being very beligerent and they are not paying any attention to fire codes, anybody's rights, etc. We had an agrument (propane was mentioned!) This guy above me has a vicious temper, the last time he had a vicious temper he put about $500 worth of dents in my car (I'm going to move it tonight.)

I hate to say it was a mistake to buy a condo. Well, perhaps, financially it wasn't! I did earn some equity and get rid of credit card debt in the process. Now, of course, I have to move again and it's going to be a hassle. If you are a single woman, here's my advice, don't move into a condo in a suburbian red area, you will be treated like shit, and these young fuck heads will abuse you as much as they can.

[Hobarticus]

1. Did you report the vandalism to your car to the police?

Do you know for sure that he did it? Even suspicion of vandalism warrants an investigation.

[demnan]

3. No

I heard his wife yell at him the night he did it. I was afraid he would do something to her. He came into the condo (his) and threw up afterwards.

[DrDebug]

6. Is he an alcoholic?

I once had an alcoholic live on the floor above me as well. I didn't move back then and luckily he was forced to move out a couple of months later, but it would have been wiser to move because you can't argue with people like that. It simply has no use.

[Hobarticus]

14. Guys like that are meant to go to jail, it's just a matter of time....

If it's not one thing, it's another.

Look, the guy vandalized your property. If he lives in a condo, I can't believe that the association would let that rest, if you reported it.

The police have to know. You can tell them that you were afraid to report it, they'll understand.

He may take it out on his wife, but from what you've said, it sounds like she can hold her own. And if he does start a fight, call the police for her. Hell, do it every time he raises his voice. In my state, in a domestic call, the police HAVE to take someone out of the house for the night, to the pokey.

You're in a tight spot, but there's no reason for you to take that crap.

[Mrs_Beastman]

2. I'm so sorry

Is your neighbor on crack...or just a Freeper? Sounds like a total jerk. Too bad there is no reasoning with him.:hug:

[demnan]

4. I don't know what his problem is

I think it is immaturity and alcohlism. That's enough.

[Mrs_Beastman]

12. from his actions, it sounds like substance abuse

[warrens]

5. Here's what you do

Invest in a GREAT stereo system, at least 1000 watts. Invest in a 9 Inch Nails CD. Put on the CD. Turn it up to 9 and put it on repeat. Go out to dinner. Come back EXACTLY at 11 and turn it off.

Repeat as necessary.

Worked for me. Took three days to total capitulation.

[demnan]

8. Thanks, sweetie

I do have a kick ass stereo system (enough for the job) I just put on American Idiot.

I'll get 9 inch nails tomorrow. . .

[DrDebug]

9. Don't give him a reason to strike back at you

If you want to stay then do what sui generis says below. If you have a problem with something he does then use the police to handle it. Either way try to avoid personal confrontations because a drunk has no intelligence left and will have no respect for you. It's sad for his wife, but she will have to learn that alcoholics might feel sorry for the damage they cause once they are sober, but the moment they are drunk again the same shit will happen again and again.

[sui generis]

7. don't argue with him

and don't cave in

1. get a video camera and use it a lot. Transfer code violations to video and jpg files, as well as print shots

2. Outline the code violations to your department of code violations, along with photos, and the sections of code that he's violating. Copy your condo association, the mayor / city council, whatever, if he's not ticketed and if the problem doesn't clear up. If he's just leasing, contact the property owner and tell them their tenant is being a dick.

3. set your camera up on your tripod and have it handy. If he knocks on the door to have a word with you, turn on the camera to film the confrontation. When he's done or when you've had enough, close the door and call the police, and also ask for a restraining order citing a pattern of increased aggression.

Don't let him get away with anything. If he's still in your business and still a bad neighbor, especially if he continues to break the law or be a danger to you, get a lawyer and see what your options are with your condo association, the police, and civil courts. Refuse to move. He's the asshole who's gotta go.

[TK421]

10. The last line made perfect sense

Why should SHE be the one who moves? Who is the offender here,anyway?
I had a similiar situation with my downstairs neighbors at my old apartment. They would have violent arguments just about every night (there was this sound of something heavy being thrown against the wall, almost like furniture) One night, it was so loud that I couldn't sleep and I had enough of it. I bounded down the stairs (loudly) and banged on their door. The wife answered with the husband pacing back and forth in the living room. I told them I would call the police if the racket didn't stop. It stopped. In passing after that, I gave them my best psycho looks as though to tell them that I mean business.

[Hobarticus]

13. This is all very good advice....

The key here, is: you've done nothing wrong. And if you feel THREATENED by this guy, you should get the police involved.

[jukes]

11. it sounds as if

your neighbor may have made a "terroristic threat" to you. most jurisdictions now include this in their criminal code. keep a minicassette handy, if he alludes to damaging your property or makes a threat to you or your property, you can prosecute. you can also get a restraining order based on the same evidence. violation of such a restraining order often is considerd "criminal stalking", a felony in those jurisdictions.

google for state codes. takes a little tweaking, but you can learn a lot.

[Aiptasia]

15. Find a patio home, stat!!! while interest rates are still low!!!

I'm a realtor, and I know all about condo living. I used to own one and had an older lady living above me that was single, and not a homeowner (tenant).

She hated me from the get go for some reason. Maybe I looked at her funny or something. Anyway, for six months she proceded to stomp as loud as she could on the floor of the unit above me. I really wasn't a noisy neighbor, and had barely six words with her the entire time she lived there.

After six months, another condo opened up for an annual rental and she moved out. While she was moving her stuff into the new unit, I ran into her while I was taking out the trash. She said to me, "Well i'm moving. I hope your happy!"

God knows what imaginary scenarios were playing out in her brain about me. Some people are just nuts!