Born May 12 1937...one of the funniest people on the planet...below are a few of his classic bits of wit and wisdom...
"A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it."
"Life is a zero sum game."
"I wanna live, I don't wanna die. That's the whole meaning of life: not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade."
"Most people are not particulary good at anything."
"If there is a God, may he strike me dead."
"I used to be Irish Catholic now I'm an American, you know you grow."
"Don't get run over."
"Religion has actually convinced people that there is an invisible man living in the sky, and he has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these things he will send you to a place full of fire, and smoke, and burn and torture forever and ever 'till the end of time.... but he loves you. And he needs money."
"When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve."
"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
"If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else."
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."
"I'm not afraid of heights, I'm just afraid of falling from them."
"Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right."