Post reasons you are depressed today

[jobycom]

Today's my anniversary. My marriage sucks. Usually we just ignore the day. Today for no reason my spouse calls up and gets all cute and friendly that it's our anniversary, and how we made it nineteen years. Friday we were discussing getting a divorce, yesterday I talked about getting an apartment, and today she acts like we're getting along. So I either have to be mean to her, and I'm just not a mean person to non-Republicans, or I have to pretend to be close to her for a day. Neither option makes me feel good. I know it's just another of her emotional manipulations to upset me, but it's worked anyway.

So I'm bummed. Anyone else bummed today?

[7th_Sephiroth]

1. my kitty died

*sigh*

[jobycom]

2. Man, sorry to hear it. That's worse than mine. nt.

[expatriot]

10. oh no! so sad.

how?

[7th_Sephiroth]

31. I.M. me and i will tell you

[JAbuchan08]

3. I met a nice girl who seems to like me, but I know that ultimately

I have nothing to offer her except for neediness.

[expatriot]

12. maybe she is very needy too and you can be happily co-dependent

like my wife aqnd me have been for 8 years.... well, married for 2 and half.

[Magrittes Pipe]

20. Join the club.

[VelmaD]

4. I hate my job...

and it's damn difficult finding another one in this fucking Shrub economy. :(

[Nikia]

51. Me too

And I had to work overtime, working Monday-Saturday. Only having a one day weekend wasn't nearly enough. I really dread being there.

[valis]

5. She seems a little unstable... But we get only your side here :)

:)

[jobycom]

8. Which is why

I didn't go into great detail... Seems unfair to trash someone who isn't there to fight back.

[tk2kewl]

6. I have been working nonstop for 4 weeks.

Until yesterday that is, but I am beat.

[redqueen]

7. My reasons are similar to yours.

We talk about divorce often... but some days he talks about how he wants to have another child. It's a wonder I'm still sane!

Sorry to hear about your predicament, but on non-fighting days I usually just nod and enjoy the relative peace. Best of luck to you.

[jobycom]

11. Sorry back at you.

Those mixed messages are horrible! Maybe if you make it clear that you don't want a child with things as they are, he'd back off, or get the message to change... Assuming you want him to, rather than wanting to leave, I mean. (Listen to me giving relationship advice! Geeze, that's like Bush giving business advice.)

There are no mixed messages in our relationship. We've had separate rooms for ten years, and I've asked for a divorce several times in those years. Our non-fighting days are when we don't speak. We have a lot of those. And things have gotten worse in the last eight months or so. This was out of the blue.

[Bunny]

18. May I ask: why do you stay?

Do you have children? Because it sounds like a miserable existence, and I can't see why you put yourself through that. Even if you have kids, they may be better off with their parents both happily living in separate homes.

[jobycom]

21. Kids

I don't want to go into more detail, but she is unstable, or has shown me clear signs of it in the past, and I don't want to risk the kids. It's harder for a man, because barring something proveable in court, men lose the kids. I might be able to prove something, I might not, but it's just too much of a risk. Or has been in the past. It may change soon.

[Bunny]

22. Well, I think men do often suffer at the hands of the family law

courts. I hope that this can come to a good conclusion soon.

[jobycom]

25. It's not bad, if I get over silly notions of romance and companionship

My kids are perfect. It's normally a great life. Just lately I've been very lonely. So I'm more bummed out than normal now. I'll get over it, whether I stay or go. My kids are more important to me than romance.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

29. How old are your kids?

When my parents divorced my brother and I stayed with our dad. I was 15 at the time and my brother was 10. Our parents let us choose where we wanted to live. We chose to stay with our dad so that we could continue to live in the same home we've always lived in and keep going to the same schools. We never had to go to court because our parents agreed to do what we thought was best.

[jobycom]

36. My oldest

will be twelve in a week, and that will make a big difference. My other is six and a half (obviously we were still trying to reconcile seven years ago). She's the one I'm worried about now, although not as much as my older one. My spouse favors the younger one. The older one I raised, while I was a grad student. So she's closer to me. My wife has somewhat taken that out on her. Her favoritism towards the younger is so obvious that even the younger child jokes about it. So we might even split the kids up if we split up.

Was it tough on you? Would it have been better for them to stay together, or are you happy they split?

[mongo]

9. Working on bankruptcy paperwork

and I've got one suit against me already and another lawyer getting ready to file.

[expatriot]

15. that sucks. n/t

[miss_kitty]

13. I still can't work outside the home due to some health things

and it's been over 4 years now. And the COLA raise on my SS Disability did NOT take into account the steep rise in gas prices. So my Sec 8 rent increase went up too. It's the 9th of May, and I have less than $200 in the bank after paying all my bills. And I haven't gone food shopping yet. And I won't even get into how Medicaid paying my Medicare premiums has Totally. Fucked. Me. Over. because I am not sure myself.:(

Sorry to hear about your stuff. It's all relative, you know. My situation is no worse nor better than yours-just some buzz killing going on in our lives we got to power through. It gets worse, but it also gets BETTER! :)

[Mrs_Beastman]

49. My mom is having the same problems

and what makes it worse is I can't help her. Our retirees are getting the shaft:mad: :mad:

[Mutley]

14. I got very little sleep, went to school this morning, and I have to work

tonight. :sigh: I guess I'm not depressed, just really really really tired.

[micrometer_50]

16. My son

was sentenced to another five years on Friday.

[Swede]

26. That sucks.

I hope luck to you and yours through this hard time.

[BillZBubb]

17. Have you tried marriage counseling?

You've got nineteen years in your marriage, there must be some strong bond deep down.

Anyway, chin up. Everyone goes through tough patches.

I'm still depressed that 60 million Americans voted for an absolute imbecile in November. I don't look forward to the next few years.

[jobycom]

23. No bond, just history

She's not someone I would want to get close to again. Too much... pain, betrayal and distrust. Stuff. Counseling is based on the concept that both parties can trust the other to some degree, at least.

Thanks for the advice, but I couldn't go into everything here. If you heard it, you would know why counseling wouldn't work.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

19. Not depressed just annoyed...

I went running and got all sweaty and then I fed my son beefaroni for lunch. He's two so he got really messy after eating. Well, sure enough when we go to take a shower our water was shut off! The management shut off the water to the whole complex because some other apartment got flooded. I can't wait to leave this place at the end of the month! Our apartment has flooded twice in two years because of their old pipes bursting. Also, they've shut down the gym for going on two months now and the pool and spa for a whole month because of upgrades. The pool was only supposed to be closed for one week, but they've taken much longer than that. Oh yeah, and one of my neighbors got shot in the middle of the afternoon a few Saturdays ago by someone who knocked on his front door. I think it's kind of interesting that a violent crime happens here and the management doesn't even bother to send out a memo about it to the residents.

[Liberalynn]

24. Changing Therapists

Sorry to hear about your kitty 7th_Sephiroth and the problems you are having in your marriage Jobycom.

I am in treatment for my anxiety and depression but want to change therapists because while my current therapist has helped me progress a little I know longer feel the anxiety level is decreasing and want to change to another therapist in the same clinic. However, I am going to have to explain why I want to make the switch to my current therapist and I'm afraid it's going to be awkward.

I don't want it to seem like I am casting aspersions on her ability or anything. It is just that I feel like I'm stuck and maybe a new perspective will help. I want to gain some sort of life back rather than just continue to be ruled by anxiety and depression.

It seems strange that I am so depressed and anxious about the therapy itself when it is supposed to be helping me learn to cope with those feelings better.

There is also so much I want to do like writing fiction and so much I should be doing like cleaning and chores yet I continue to avoid and give into the nervousness and restlessness. So I am definitely bummed today.

[tjdee]

27. I have no friggin money--money money money money.

The best things in life are free, but you can give 'em to the birds and bees at this point.

I want money. That's what I want.

Your lovin' gives me a thrill, but your lovin' won't pay my bills.

[jus_the_facts]

41. Sing it sista.....

.....don't have much of a pot to piss in...and after payin' rent on the window to throw it out of...well...sigh. :nopity:

[deadparrot]

28. Well, mine's a minor inconvenience compared to yours,

but I have a long week of exams ahead of me. Plus, I'm not going to have a night off for a good week and a half.

[jobycom]

39. Man, I remember those days

they weren't that long ago, even. You schooling and working? It may be easier on the emotions, but it ain't easier in any way on the blood pressure. Good luck.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

30. Geez little bro..time to check out the airfare and take a trip to Cali

to see your big sis!

I'm sorry for the tugs at your heart...counseling?

[jobycom]

38. Thanks, sis

Counseling would only work if I trusted her to stick to anything she agreed on, or to be honest during counseling. That's the heart of our problem as it is.

You know, my favorite lesbian former nun and military officer aunt lives in southern California... Haven't seen her in years. I could see a surrogate sis and an aunt and a state I've never been to in the same trip... awfully tempting.

[TrogL]

32. Everything hurts

My skin hurts (see other thread) - it's decided that hair is boring so it gonna product calcium crystals instead
My right ear hurts. The doctor's don't know what it is.
My joints hurt (bursitis)
My hands hurt (spent most of yesterday digging out a garden).
My eyes hurt (bonfire smoke).
My teeth hurt (clenching).
My foot hurts (plantars wart treated with "gray tape" - developed an infection/reaction to the tape)

[Shell Beau]

34. Damn...Sounds like everything hurts. Sounds like you need a

:hug: Unless that might hurt too! :)

[GoddessOfGuinness]

33. 2 letters from the IRS

saying I owe big bucks. I feel like I'm going to be sick. I'm like a deer in the headlights and have no effing idea what I'm going to do... :cry::scared::cry:

[gardenista]

35. First, don't panic.

Second, get someone to represent you. The IRS specializes in getting people emotionally upset, causing them to divulge information that is not in their best interest, and to agree to payment arrangements that could be negotiated in a way that is more in the taxpayer's favor.

We were recently audited, and we did not deal with the IRS at all. We got our tax guy, who had filled out the return for us, to represent us. He needed just a little bit of extra information from us, mostly documenting a home office, which was entirely legit, and he did all the talking with the IRS. It took about a year, but we finally got our refund, PLUS INTEREST! His work cost us $500, and it was the best $500 we ever spend.

I know that if I had been dealing with them directly, I would have given in, and just allowed them to run all over us.

Please get some help asap. If you want a recommendation for someone in your state, PM me. She helped me years and years ago when I let my self-employment tax get out of hand.

[jobycom]

43. Excellent advice!

That is exactly their tactic, and you are right. Don't even talk to the IRS, get a tax attorney to do it. You are still responsible for the end results, but take that whole pressure off your back. I'm a bookkeeper these days, and I've watched them in action try to roust some of the employees around here. Fear is their biggest tactic. You know all those horror stories about the IRS? I think the IRS starts them, just to scare people.

Get someone who knows their routine to give you real advice. And good luck.

[Mrs_Beastman]

37. The bills we can't pay are piling up

[TheProphetess]

40. I am in pain

Beside my usual leg pain, I have a terrible headache. It's not the end of the world but it's enough to piss me off.

I'm very sorry to hear about your marriage. I hope things get better soon. :hug:

[maveric]

42. My job is killing me. I'm resigned to be eternally alone.

I got into nursing 4 years ago and have seen the system get worse. Its all about money. Patients and nurses are suffering unimaginable despair.

I'm 49 alone and not a good prospect. Sure my kids are around but I miss the companionship I once had during my 18 yr marriage. Just tired of being alone.

[BikeWriter]

44. The ex has been gone five years.

[youthere]

45. I'm broke

and I've got three kids that want want want. It's not that they're greedy, they just want normal kid things and it pisses me off that I can't give it to them. I could before but it's this economy. Any extra money we had is now paying for inflated gas to get back and forth to work and less groceries that cost more (anyone follow that?) not to mention the fact that there has been little or no overtime for my husband in over a year. And what makes it worse (the depression) is that these awesome kids never complain about having to cut corners. They don't deserve this shit.

[leftofthedial]

46. the world's a mess thanks to the fascists.

I'm in mid-divorce, watching more than half of my lifetime being flushed down the drain. Atleast my kids seem to be doing well.

I just got laid off and can't find new work. I'm almost out of money.

I was in a bad car wreck in January and still getting over that. (No fun with crappy insurance/no insurance.)

I'm trying to get a child advocacy nonprofit started, but it will be a year at least of long hours with no pay to get it going.

I'm lonely, fed up and sick of being in limbo.

My mother is dying of emphysema and I'm now an emotional burden on her and in no position to ease her struggles. I have one good friend with major scary abdominal cancer, another whose son recently committed suicide, and another going through a total alcoholic meltdown. All of them are also having serious financial problems.

Other than that, though, it's all good.

[regularguy]

47. Well, I just realized that as of this week I've been working

full time for 20 years. I'm lucky to have been in a position to support myself but the kids are 9 and 2 I'm realizing that although I'm finding it real hard lately to drag my ass outta bed I've got *at least* another 20 to go. I'm just not sure I can do it and that scares me a bit.
Sorry, dude, that your marriage sucks. :toast:

[uppityperson]

48. Oh I am laughing so hard, thank you all

I am having problems of course but thank you all for sharing yours because now I don't feel so bad. Dang, now I need to be depressed about not being as depressed as you all. Hang in there, sorry you are feeling bad, your relationship is sucky, your pet died, your child is in trouble, trouble at work or with money or IRS or the world. And just thank you. I'm gonna go stab a couple slugs now since they are devouring my garden. My problems are minor.

[BikeWriter]

53. You're welcome. There's always someone who is worse off.

[Shananigans]

50. I spent $1500 this weekend...

on new furniture and some new clothes for my trip I am taking on Thursday. I am spending lots more for the trip. I am also getting my hair (10 1/2 inches of it) cut off on Wednesday. Last night two of my friends told me what a bad friend I am.

Also, one of my best friend's girlfriend's send me a "hope you are doing ok" e-card and I have only met her once. He hasn't called me in 3 weeks to see how I am doing. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Lastly, my cousin is dying of cancer and I didn't sleep well last night.

[SarahB]

52. Sorry to hear that.

I'm two weeks away from my divorce being final and it's tough. Other things in my life that are sometimes tough too. I have many reasons I should be depressed (and I have my down days for sure), but I'm not thankfully. I'm grateful for the good things right at this particular moment.

I hope life gets better for you somehow. :hug:

[NashVegas]

54. Because the Universe Isn't Done Playing Jokes On Me

And I'm tired of it.