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What would Brian Boitano do If he was here right now, He'd make a plan And he'd follow through, That's what Brian Boitano would do.
When Brian Boitano was in the olympics, Skating for the gold, He did two saukaus and a triple lutz, Wearing a blindfold.
When Brian Boitano was in the alps, Fighting grizzly bears, He used his magical fire breath, And saved the maidens fair.
So what would Brian Boitano do If he were here today, I'm sure he'd kick an arse or two, That's what Brian Boitano would do.
When Brian Boitano travelled through time To the year 3010, He fought the evil robot kings and saved the human race again
And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids, He beat up Kubla Khan. 'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from Anybody...
(No, Brian! Those chicken wings are too spicy! Don't eat those!)
I never seen a man eat so many chicken wings I never seen a man eat so many chicken wings I never seen a man eat so many chicken wings I never seen a man eat so many chicken wings I never seen a man eat so many chicken wings I never seen a man eat so many chicken wings I never seen a man eat so many chicken wings
Brian Boitano, he was born On the planet of of Kryluk He came to Eath to save us all From war and death and suck
Hei-didee-hi-ho-hi-dee-hay Brian Boitano is here So round up all your lasses And tell 'em to have no fear
Say "Come on over here, honey I'm gonna take off my pants And I'm gonna make dirty love to you 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano would do"
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano would do!
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