Abstinence sounds like a good idea right about now...

[DerekG]

Many of you might think I've gone a little overboard with this, but let me say that I'm a 21 year old virgin who is going to remain one for some time to come.

You see, I read Dylan's "Masters of War" last night and I agree with his sentiments...I'm deathly afraid of bringing a child into this world. I know birth control isn't the perfect safeguard (abortion would NOT be an alternative, I'm pro-choice but I personally consider it to be immoral). Although I'm working to help get Dennis Kucinich nominated, I fear that America is going to face an ecomomic disaster in the months and years ahead nonetheless. And I'm scared that my child would be subjected to poverty and misery.

I suppose this would resonate to younger DUers than older ones, but I'd like to know how others feel about this.

[rjbcar27]

1. In this day and age

great sex is one of the finest things about and I ain't giving it up! :-)

Although I understand your sentiments, things have been and could be a lot worse.

[rogerashton]

2. Get thee to a nunnery. Go!

n/t

[THUNDER HANDS]

3. You have to bring kids into the world

Who else is going to mow the law and do the dishes and vaccum (other than your wife).

:evilgrin:

[LittleApple81]

5. I don't think you have kids... they don't do any of those things any more

unless threatened with bodily harm... and arguing with them about the most minimal chore makes life very sour.

[SnowGoose]

6. euphemism

Thought you might find it interesting that Shakespear used the term nunnery in this context in its euphemistic sense "whorehouse". Not particularly important in life except that most folks when quoting this line actually mean the opposite.

[Bertha Venation]

4. not overboard

To * or not to * is a very personal decision, and only you can say whether it's overboard for you. Seems to me you don't think it is. I say, more power to you.

At your age I had vastly different reasons for remaining celibate, and in my contemporary small circles celibacy was the purported norm, anyway. (I was a fundamentalist Christian.) Today, if I weren't married, I'd be celibate unless I were dating someone exclusively; I never did casual sex anyway. But as I say, the whole decision is an extremely personal one. It's no one's business but yours.

All that said--good for you.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

7. It's often a good idea

I have gone through periods of intended, deliberate celibasy in my life simply to purge my thoughts of distractions and sex and money can be two HUGE distractions.

Attitudes about sex can alter every single aspect of all of the qualities of your life and energy spent on sex can be spent elsewhere as well.

It's a good practice, when it's done consciously and out of a desire to expand yourself rather than contract yourself.

Abstaining from sex can have you focus on the genuine creation of intimacy with everyone around you rather than focus on the intimacy of a sexual relationship which, if not healthy actually CUTS YOU off from a genuine intimacy with the rest of the human race by alienating your intimacy to ONE person and an unhealthy attachment or entanglement.

I think it is ESPECIALLY healthy for young people who are in a sense LOSING themselves as they age and become more fixed in their attitudes.

[thom1102]

8. I can screw all day long, and no babies here!

Try as I might (and believe me I do) I just can't seem to get my boyfriend pregnant!;)

Hey, the choice to have sex is purely between you and your potential partner, and there is no shame in choosing not to have sex, especially for well thought out, well reasoned meanings like overpopulation and fear of raising a child in poverty. Good for you!

[Droopy]

9. I'm 30 and I've been celibate for 8 years

I'm one of those people who doesn't put a lot of stock in sex. I don't even masturbate all that often. It seems to me that sex can only complicate my life from where I'm at right now. It usually involves being in a relationship with somebody and I just don't want that right now.

[geniph]

10. Get a vasectomy

then no worries about reproducing when you don't mean to. I'm fixed, my husband's fixed - hey, if I get pregnant, it's either Jesus or Damien.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

11. what if it's twins?

[DrWeird]

12. Abstinence is a sexual perversion.

It's not natural. That's why you don't see animals not doing it.

[elfwitch]

15. amen Dr!

I feel self-imposed abstinence is one of the weirder forms of sexual perversion. Sex is wonderful. Masturbation is brilliant. If you hadn't been meant to mastubate you wouldn't have been given arms that reach. Look what abstinence has done to the clergy. It can't be good for you.

[NightTrain]

13. I've been celibate for quite some time now.

Unless you're addicted to getting laid, celibacy really is not a big deal.

And I fully empathize with your desire not to bring children into this world. As much as I love kids, I'm just not sure I'd be doing one a favor by helping to conceive it.

[FlemingsGhost]

14. Quick... Save this thread!

In ten years you will laugh.

(edited for clarity)

[elfwitch]

16. fear is good but...

I have a two year old son. I worry every day about the world he will be inheriting. The best I can do is help him turn out to be the kind of person that wants to make the world a better place than when he found it. I am teaching him tolerance and love. I am also teaching him how to stand up for himself and others. If everyone on this list had only one child in the world that they imbued with the same convictions we all seem to have, maybe we could have a better world to live in. The problem is that the haters and the fundie freaks are having tons of kids and teaching them to be hate mongers too. If smart, caring, socially responsible people stop having children, then the neo-con types have already won.

Sex is not your enemy. Being irresponsible with sex is. Don't have kids before you are ready to devote yourself to them body and soul. But don't put off sex. In the Jewish tradition it is believed that sex is one of the greatest gifts given to us by God. Sex with love is tremedous. But even sex just for the sake of the sheer physical thrill and satisfaction has it's place.

[latebloomer]

17. I can understand your feelings

As the mother of two children, I have had a lot of fearful thoughts about the world I brought them into. I especially remember thinking, "What have I done?" after 9-11. But it's always been a dangerous world. I grew up in the shadow of the nuclear bomb, and that didn't stop me from having kids.

Having a child is an act of irrationality and faith. I like what elfwitch said about the need to bring conscious children into this world. It says that you have a vision that things can get better-- that you haven't succumbed to despair, that you believe that our positive thoughts and actions can turn the tide.

On the other hand, I do respect non-breeders because there are too many damn people in the world, and environmentally it makes sense not to have them.

But whatever you do, don't let the decision not to have kids rob you of love and sex! That is far too big a sacrifice. And if you really don't want to have kids, it is quite easy not to-- I was non-celibate for 23 years without conceiving, until I was almost 40 years old and chose to start having kids!