(generic problem melodramatically presented)

[jpgray]

(base appeal for attention and validation)

[Richardo]

1. (smart ass, yet affectionate and/or supportive remark)

(appropriate smiley)

[jpgray]

5. (noncommital response to cover my alert on your post) (nt)

[philosophie_en_rose]

187. (demand that you stop offending me)

(insist upon your mind reading obligations)

[Left Is Write]

2. (sympathetic clucks and hugs)

[BigMcLargehuge]

3. (heartfelt wish to offer help)

(demonstration of gender appropriate sympathy)

[MrScorpio]

4. (Smartassed reply to bring back down to Earth)

(A crack about your supposed self importance)

(Appropriate smiley)

[BigMcLargehuge]

6. (feigned outrage)

(generic statement that I have alerted the mods/placed offender on ignore list)

[RandomKoolzip]

7. (hitting alert)

[miss_kitty]

8. (Message Deleted)

(Name Removed)

[GOPisEvil]

9. (Post about distant family member with same condition)

[BigMcLargehuge]

11. (accusation that said family member is fictional)

(misdirected anger as respondent failed to read entire post)

(on edit)

(hasty retraction of accusation)

(huh smiley)

[GOPisEvil]

12. (Sentimental "it's ok"-type post.)

[BigMcLargehuge]

14. (general acknowledgement) (n/t)

[jpgray]

13. (confused reply--likely an edit of "this is about me you twat")

[GOPisEvil]

16. (Whiny, "I just wanted you to not feel alone in the world" post)

(cry emoticon)

[jpgray]

23. (group hug smiley)

(secret plotting to one day destroy GOPisEvil and eat his children smiley which I don't think DU yet has)

[sundog]

29. (i'm so sorry & crying smilie)

[flvegan]

10. (backhanded slap suggesting one just get over it)

[Momgonepostal]

15. (passionate response suggesting it's all *'s fault)

[MrModerate]

26. (enthusiastic concurrence with attribution of guilt to *)

(with side comment listing several other synonyms for *)

[asthmaticeog]

17. (ignoring attention-whoring ninny, going to look for music threads)

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

18. (heartfelt reply rejected as not the answer desired)

(alert sent)

[sui generis]

19. (generic obtuse non sequitor reply)

(five or six overblown paragraphs of extemporaneous bullshit)

[MrModerate]

31. (detailed dissection of logical and moral errors inherent in obtuse reply)

(with recommendations for counseling, conference with religious figure, or adoption of substance abuse as possible solutions for failings detailed above)

[sundog]

20. (suggestion that all those with generic problem are being persecuted)

[ContraBass Black]

21. (pathetic attempt to collect spillover sympathy)

(similar sob story)

[arwalden]

22. (not to be outdone)

(even more dramatic sob story)

[loudestchick]

88. (Yet, even more pathetic sob story, verging on tall tale status.)

[redqueen]

24. (heartfelt attempt to cheer up poster)

(sympathetic words and affectionate smileys)

[sundog]

28. (pretends the smilies are actually helping)

[jpgray]

34. (another lewd come-on)

[Debi]

25. (I'm leaving DU post)

(cry, sick of all this garbage)

[sundog]

27. (one last thread stating that I'm REALLY leaving this time)

[miss_kitty]

33. ("Don't let the door hit ya in the ass" post)

(Bu-Bye:hi:)

[jpgray]

37. (one final lewd come-on)

[sundog]

38. (post accusing that poster of being cold hearted)

[Debi]

35. (calling out leaver to say I was leaving first and i hate copycat leavers)

(and telling you that I secretly loved you the whole time I was on DU and now my heart is broken that we're both leaving and not together)

[MrModerate]

36. (tired quote "how can we miss you if you won't go away")

(snotty get out of the kitchen cliche, followed by suggestion that poster show true colors by accepting moderator's slot vacated by VetWife on CU.)

[Mr_Scarecrow]

(troll tracing problem back to most recent dem potus)

(trying to appear thoughtful or intelligent, will scream incoherently in upcoming messages)

[jpgray]

32. (lewd come-on)

[Mr_Scarecrow]

30. (troll tracing problem back to most recent dem potus)

(trying to appear thoughtful or intelligent, will scream incoherently in upcoming messages)

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

128. (gives rope

while secretly holding the result of his googling that show this was a cut-n-paste job and waiting for editing period to expire)

[bertha katzenengel]

39. (angry riposte to all who don't adequately support OP)

(SOP in the Lounge)

[aeolian]

59. (even angrier retort to the effect that the OP should just deal with it)

[bertha katzenengel]

66. (thinly veiled ad hominem attack)

(seven lines of extremely well-thought-out and cleverly worded but spittle-laced invective)

[aeolian]

151. (response to a statement made three weeks ago)

(arguing against a point that was never even made in this thread)

[sundog]

40. (kick)

[sundog]

41. (one last kick from page 3)

[jpgray]

42. (accidental post under wrong username, revealing sundog is my sockpuppet)

[sundog]

44. (post announcing launch of investigation)

[progmom]

43. (assertation that this is my last post on the subject)

[sundog]

45. (post stating that you start a shitstorm then walk away)

[progmom]

48. (veiled threat of lounge stalking)

[sundog]

49. (post to make the thread flaming)

[progmom]

51. (post referencing something i decided not to say to you)

[miss_kitty]

46. (an egging on over 'the last post' statement)

(a mocking smilie :rofl:)

[progmom]

47. (angry retort accusing you of making a personal attack)

[miss_kitty]

50. (more mocking laughter)

(and a studied attempt to make this post a mockery of the POST not the poster :rofl: )

[progmom]

52. (alert! alert! alert)

(resulting in all posts being deleted)

[Debi]

53. (freeper)

(:P)

[progmom]

54. (assertation that i have been on DU longer than you've been out of

diapers)

[Debi]

73. (offended remark about your public acknowledgement of my loose bowels)

(and many tears about my terrible secret)

(how could you :cry:)

[progmom]

79. (reference to your age and my contempt for all users in your age group)

[Debi]

81. (reference to YOUR AGE and my contempt for your waste of natural resources

to make dentures and adult undergarments - and batteries for those damn Rascals that run over my feet!!! Get a cane and walk for christsakes)

[Patiod]

82. (reply to assertation wrongly posted under wrong message)

[Debi]

83. (told to MYOB and irratic mention of Free Republic)

(only freeps would not know where to post)

[Patiod]

205. (pictures of my cat, looking cute, to express comfort)

No cat pics yet?

[Debi]

214. (gruff comment on dogs being superior to cats as pets)

(about time kitty pics made it here)

[HEyHEY]

55. (Insincere "there, there" comment

[jpgray]

56. (accusation that the above post displays rampant sexism/racism)

[HEyHEY]

64. (retaliatory dig and defensive statement)

[aeolian]

57. (angry but tangential reply that totally misses the point)

[Hugin]

58. (request for links supporting base appeal)

[jpgray]

60. (link to a picture of my balls)

[sui generis]

61. (I actually opened that one, just in case)

[Hugin]

69. (anatomically impossible suggestion for where to put your balls)

(smug smiley)

[patcox2]

62. (attempt to link your generic problem to my pet issue)

(convoluted tinfoil theory concluding that your generic problem is yet another manifestation of my pet conspiracy theory. Self-congratulatory commiseration combined with condescension towards those who just can't handle the truth.)

[Richardo]

63. (attempted threadjack pointing out nitpicky grammar or spelling errors)

[ComerPerro]

76. (reply to threadjack, completely unrelated to original post)

[loudestchick]

87. (Joining in the attempted threadjack w/ additional criticism)

[Huckebein the Raven]

65. ( general smartass comment inserted here )

:evilgrin:

[Debi]

75. (giggle)

(attempt at pick up line which will be ignored by Dark_Leftist)

[Huckebein the Raven]

155. ( pick up line by Debi is not ignored )

( returned with a little flirtation )

:D :hi:

[Debi]

213. (Debi thinking pick up deadline has passed wonders when this got posted)

(shrug at lost opportunity)

[Beaverhausen]

67. (sarcastic response without the sarcastic smilie)

[jpgray]

70. (reply that denotes utter ignorance of all things sarcastic)

[loudestchick]

89. (sypathetic post for the sarcasm challenged)

[youthere]

68. (psuedo intellectual and unrelated statistic posted)

[Hugin]

72. (statistic unrelated to unrelated statistic posted)

[ComerPerro]

71. (misdirected outrage, with a hit of a persecution complex)

(accusations of bigotry and intolerance)

[Hugin]

74. (plea that, "we all just get along.")

(some smiley or another)

[ComerPerro]

77. (reminder that you are playing right into Rove's hand)

[Hugin]

78. (post knitting entire thread into personal conspiracy theory)

(incoherent babbling)

(large, "I told you so" and "I knew it all along")

[Hugin]

80. (kick)

(attempt to keep generic problem from sinking)

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

84. (assholic remark that it's your fault for lack of personal responsibility)

[Rabrrrrrr]

126. (insulting remark to your assholeness, with threadjacking question

about how your pet is doing)

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

145. (conclamation to being less radical not to hurt the Democrat Party

which includes the phrase "you people")

[Bouncy Ball]

85. (connection to current president and every republican

president since Nixon)

[Beaverhausen]

86. (link to newsmeat.com listing donations to Dems in 2004)

[Rabrrrrrr]

135. (obviously stalking post filled with insulting invective)

(generic wondering why you aren't doing something sexual with Rove)

[Bouncy Ball]

137. (generic sexual statement aimed at you to completely throw you

off your game. And it works.)

[Rabrrrrrr]

90. (intentional misread of post in order to inject irrelevant issue du jour)

(and accuse original poster of failing to take into account whatever my issue du jour is; e.g., vegetarianism, elitism, war, diebold, racism, gun control, cat hunting, spousal abuse...)

[Rabrrrrrr]

91. (then repeated, constant hammering of OP for failing to address me

on my issue du jour)

[Rabrrrrrr]

92. (another post, within seconds of first post, accusing of OP of ignoring me

[Rabrrrrrr]

94. (and then another one, within seconds, still accusing OP of ignoring me)

and not just OP, but now ALL DUers, becase they NEVER address this issue when I bring it up

[Rabrrrrrr]

97. (this post representative of a barrage of posts, accusing EVERYONE

of being whatever my issue of the day is, and lambasting everyone for their utter stupidity and insensitivity to what is such an important issue)

[Rabrrrrrr]

113. (post saying it's been ten minutes since my post and calling out OP

again with generic insult to his cowardice)

[Bouncy Ball]

117. (post only with rolling on the floor laughing smilie

serving dual purpose as indication of true humor and poking insane poster with stick to provoke more reactions until tombstoned)

[Rabrrrrrr]

129. (message deleted)

[Bouncy Ball]

93. (the interjection of another poster to plead with

obnoxious poster to calm down and get back to focus on OP's original problem)

[Rabrrrrrr]

96. (toddler-like vicious reply for failing to see that my issue is FAR

more important than OP's issue, since OP's issue is an INSULT - an INSULT I tell you - to my issue)

[Bouncy Ball]

100. (generic backhanded comment meant to confuse

obnoxious poster and make them wonder whether it was a compliment or an insult while hitting alert)

[Rabrrrrrr]

104. (request that you seek therapy while I hit "alert" because you

are obviously sick, and need help. No, really, I mean that - seriously - I say this as a friend, you need therapy and I'm gonna make sure all the mods, and Skinner, get repeated PMs from me letting them know that we have someone on DU who is so obviously suffering)

(suggestion that we hold a DU fundraiser to raise money for your therapy)

(and a last, unnceccesary reminder that I am hitting alert on every one of your posts from the last day, which I will search out)

[Bouncy Ball]

110. (response which only consists of the rolling eyes smilie

since posters with such obvious mental problems aren't even worth text. Oh and hitting alert on snit fit.)

[Rabrrrrrr]

125. (message deleted)

[Rabrrrrrr]

101. (a post made within a minute insulting poster for not responding to me yet

and accusing said person of cowardice and that, by their silence, it means that I have won)

[Bouncy Ball]

103. ( a post with sincere laughter at, and lack of sympathy for the

obvious attention, self-esteem, and possible personality issues poster has)

[Rabrrrrrr]

108. (generic, and completely non-sensical, accusation that you wouldn't

know a liberal if you saw one since you are obviously brainwashed, so your opinion doesn't matter because you are probably a troll.

[Bouncy Ball]

112. (Again, more enjoyment at obvious lack of mental and emotional

health and poking verbally with a stick to provoke reaction once again because laughs have been rare today)

[Rabrrrrrr]

115. (message deleted)

[Rabrrrrrr]

116. (message deleted)

[Rabrrrrrr]

118. (message deleted)

[Rabrrrrrr]

119. (message deleted)

[Bouncy Ball]

120. (dude you're dead, stop posting)

[Rabrrrrrr]

122. (message deleted)

[Rabrrrrrr]

124. (message deleted)

[Rabrrrrrr]

130. (insinuation that you keep getting my posts deleted because you

can't handle the truth)

[sundog]

138. (message deleted)

:rofl:

[CanuckAmok]

191. (expression of curiosity of who it was and what they said)

[sundog]

195. (post stating 'check your pm')

[jpgray]

192. (unfavorable selective quoting and misinterpretations of your argument)

(feigned question about what your point was, designed to broadcast the implication that you are a ninnyhammer)

(that fucking bastard shrugging smiley)

[Lilith Velkor]

95. (non sequitor response)

(evidence of profound mental illness which may cause poster to conclude he/she ain't got it so bad)

[Bouncy Ball]

102. (expression of confusion, wiping out any semblance of

seriousness non sequitor response had)

[Rabrrrrrr]

134. (obviously stalking post filled with insulting invective)

(reminding that none of your other posts makes any goddamned sense either)

[Lilith Velkor]

140. (cryptic reply)

(hollow, mocking pleasantries with insinuation that you are one of "them")

[Rabrrrrrr]

173. (obscurely posted jpg of USS Oklahoma in Panama Canal)

[BluePatriot]

98. (One liner followed by "nt" to up post count)

[Bouncy Ball]

105. (vague comment meant to confuse post count whore)

[Rabrrrrrr]

131. (obviously stalking post filled with insulting invective)

(request you do something physically impossible)

[Viva_La_Revolution]

194. (LOL smiley)

[gollygee]

99. (request that thread get locked because it's turned into a flame war)

[Bouncy Ball]

106. (request that locking request poster calm down

because this poster is enjoying obvious flamefest too much)

[Rabrrrrrr]

132. (obviously stalking post filled with insulting invective)

(reminder that you are not poster's mother though are another type of mother)

[Bossy Monkey]

107. (SOMETHING IRRELEVANT IN ALL-CAPS FOLLOWED BY EXCLAMATION MARK!)

[Bouncy Ball]

109. (poster now posting to every new post on this thread

and also aluding to possible chemical imbalances in all caps poster--just for fun)

[Rabrrrrrr]

133. (obviously stalking post filled with insulting invective)

(generic insult to your apparent maturity-level)

[Rabrrrrrr]

111. (FARCICAL ASSAULT WITH PROFANE AND SEXUAL-RELATED INVECTIVE)

[Bouncy Ball]

114. (Suggestion that you and other all caps poster

get married and have mentally unbalanced children together. Or at least get out all that all-caps screaming in a hotel room.)

[Rabrrrrrr]

121. (GRATUITOUS INSULT TO YOUR ANCESTRY AND

MARITAL STATUS OF PARENTS)

[Bouncy Ball]

123. (laughing smilie and encouragement to keep going

with insults)

[Rabrrrrrr]

127. (tsunami of blasphemous and pornographics invective)

[Lilith Velkor]

144. (salaams from your new stalker)

[Hugin]

136. (pompous attempt to bring discussion back around to generic problem)

(obvious attempt to grab the driver's seat)

[ContraBass Black]

172. (even more pathetic retry at spillover sympathy)

(suggests that noone cares, will do harm to self if not attended to)

:cry:

[sundog]

139. (post announcing 'me too')

[Hugin]

141. (post dittoing 'me too')

(kiss up smiley)

[sundog]

142. (post explaining my personal story related to the 'me too')

[Beware the Beast Man]

143. (hijacking thread to talk about favorite flavor of donuts)

(extolling the virtues of a toasted coconut donut)

[Hugin]

146. (post using insult of your taste in donuts to discredit you)

(suggestion you post in lounge from now on and oh,
by the way, why do you hate America?)

[Beware the Beast Man]

150. (mean-spirited comment)

(follwed by smiley belying my true feelings) :hi:

[Beaverhausen]

147. (post complaining about loud patrons of eating establishments)

[Beware the Beast Man]

149. (agreement, adding disdain for sickly children in public)

(screed demading that parents quarantine all children with colds as if they were as deadly as an envelope full of anthrax)

[Hugin]

153. (agrees with screed)

(adding that sickly children should be sterilized in a microwave)

[aeolian]

148. (proof that this problem fits with irrational adgenda X)

[Hugin]

152. (counter proof that this problem really comes from menu 'B')

[antigone382]

154. (self-righteous assertion that you were totally in the wrong)

(Statement jumping to several illogical conclusions regarding your behavior and declaring that your actions are bad for the Democratic party and that if we lose in '06 and 08 it will be because of misguided people like you)

[Beaverhausen]

156. (inevitable post blaming the clenis)

[aeolian]

157. (devolution into childish name-calling)

[EstimatedProphet]

158. (examination of thread for rules violations)

(determination of compliance so far)
(dismissal of thread for the time being)

[ananda]

159. (compassionate smile and a big hug)

smiling smiley

[nickgutierrez]

180. (feigned laughter)

(smiley)

[aeolian]

160. (get real)

[aeolian]

161. (latecommer making a point discussed 150 posts ago)

[hootinholler]

165. (other late-comer non-sequitorial rant ...)

(suggesting rectum-crainium inversion of above poster)

[Rabrrrrrr]

175. (obligatory newbie post asking how you got a sig line)

(sycophantish compliment on your avatar)

[Tace]

162. (Asking Silly Question That's Been Asked 1,000 Times Before

resulting in flame war and thread being locked)

[amandae]

163. (saying something stupid and encouraging)

(repeating the earlier stupid sentiments knowing full well that no one will scroll down this far in the post to read it, let alone respond to it)

[Catbird]

177. (redundant repetition)

(minor variation on same earlier sentiments)

[Bossy Monkey]

164. (inevitable mention that freepers would never be capable of this level of

self-deprecating humor)

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

166. (Ditto to mask inability to come up with an equally salient comment)

[Bossy Monkey]

178. (I thought you were supposed to say, "What's up with that place? I can

never follow what people are saying over there! DU is much better designed.")

[Catbird]

167. (gratuitous cat post)

(impossibly cute pictures of cats)

[fudge stripe cookays]

179. (gratuitous "You thought of my idea and posted it first!" post)

followed by latest threadjacking pictures of the subject in question....

(gratuitous smiley waving)
FSC

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

168. (cursing of Admins taking away ATA as a safe place to run and cry without

chance of others commenting)

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

169. (amazement at thread' s post count)

[XNASA]

170. (interest feigned)

(gives bum's rush)

[Ramsey]

171. Can I quote Wiil Pitt?

Best. Post. Ever.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

176. Isn't that more of a quote from the Comic Book Guy on the Simpsons?

[LearnedHand]

181. (snarling reply that Will Pitt's not so hot

and that only mouth-breathers pump his ego by quoting him)

(waving smiley: Hi, Will)

[da_chimperor]

174. (snide, cutting remark)

(expression of sarcasm for previous remark, sympathy)

(randomly chosen smiley face)

[jpgray]

182. (request for moderators to lock thread)

(false reason given for said request to cover for the fact that I want to piss everyone off by shutting down a huge thread with multiple discussions inside now that my selfish appetite for attention has been sated)

[JVS]

183. I've been too busy with work to read much DU lately

Thanks for reducing it to an easily digestible summary.

[LearnedHand]

184. (statement of the enormously obvious)

(self-righteous assertion that the Dem Party is being harmed by such behavior as ours. pompous lecture on how not to write posts that are as stupid as those of freepers. dogmatic restatement of basic, obvious grammar rules. threat to hit alert button on every poster in this thread.)

(smug smiley)

[sundog]

185. (post announcing I'm bookmarking this thread)

[LearnedHand]

186. (aside to sundog)

(post questioning whether sundog might be agent mike bookmarking the thread for evidence. if so, polite request that sundog bites his/her own ass.)

[sundog]

188. (post announcing I have information)

:P

[Corgigal]

189. (post asking why can't Dem's get along)

(whine about a circling shooting gallery and the 2004 election)

[jpgray]

190. (connection of entire thread to primary squabbles dating to 2003)

(maniacal laughter)

[sundog]

193. (obligatory pic post request whilst feigning this is not a meat market)

[jpgray]

198. (picture of jpgray's too-sweet pecs)

[sundog]

199. (post whining why no one comments on my pic)

[REP]

196. (maudlin prayer and words of "inspiration")

(couched in terms to demonstrate how saintly I am)

[StrongbadTehAwesome]

197. (latecomer repeating vague expresssions of comfort already expressed

to boost post count)

(non-sequitur question about BouncyBall's mountain-of-duct-tape pic)

[Runcible Spoon]

200. (clever snarky nasty comment)

(about the death of authenticity. Gives link to Baudrillard book)

[jbnow]

201. (muttering at this confusing distraction

from runaway popes and right wing brides and faux reality)

[bling bling]

202. (ROTFL acronym to describe humorous response to this thread)

(followed by smiley ROTFL)

[Beaverhausen]

207. (reposting of photo of G. Gordon Liddy in Speedo)

[bling bling]

203. (.)

[Vektor]

204. (gratuitous mention of John Kerry's genitalia)

*Mmmm*

[Catbird]

206. (contrived connection to generic problem)

(incomprehensible election statistics)

[Catbird]

210. (contrived connection to 2004 election)

(incomprehensible election statistics)
(correction of previous post)

[jpgray]

208. (not-so-subtle reference to recently banned members)

(vulgar series of winking smileys)

[Debi]

211. (angry retort to veiled reference to my relation to banned members)

(in a huff)

[dxstone]

209. (Hyper-extended insistence that this is the GREATEST THREAD EVER!)

Too busy ROTFLing to actually find and click the ROTFL smiley, followed by completely unrelated shameless self-promotion:

BEWARE THE EVIL EYE OF CONDI RICE!!!



D X Stone

more sinister impudence at
http://presidentevilonline.com

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

212. (further amazement at thread's continuous growing)

(link to "sphincter" site in a vain attempt to get it killed)

[Debi]

215. (post that sundogs hypnotic power over progmom and Rev)

is the cause of all problems on this site (sigh)

[bling bling]

216. (one more single dot)

(with picture of kicking donkey by itself without any accompanying comment in a futile effort to keep thread alive at 2 a.m. "just in case someone else hasn't seen it yet.")

[Hatalles]

217. (automated plea from grovelbot to donate immediately)

[Vektor]

218. (thread hijacked by 28 people arguing about Jenna Bush's thong)

[arwalden]

219. (unsolicited and pretentious offer to pray for you)

[MsAnthropy]

220. (kick)

(best thread ever!)

[RogueTrooper]

221. (locking)

(standard moderator chastisment statement)

[MsAnthropy]

222. (pointless interruption of thread on some technical issue)

(question if picture is showing up)