DUers who have been thorugh a divorce or a break-up of a long...

[Maddy McCall]

term relationship, do you dream about your ex SO?


I initiated my divorce, and I have no regrets about it, but sometimes I do have dreams about my ex-husband. The dreams are always about the good times. I think I placed the bad times in some file in the back of my memory.

What about you? Dreams? Nightmares?

[Lisa0825]

1. I used to, but not in a long time.

I used to dream that my ex-h wanted me back, and I put him in his place. I have had good dreams about my last ex-bf. Mostly just reliving fond memories.

[Maddy McCall]

2. Off topic. I love your peacefrog avatar.

And, yes, Ihave the same kinds of dreams.

I even dream sometimes about the guy who gave me my very first "serious" kiss. We dated for awhile, and then he moved back to Texas. I always wondered what happened to him, and I think that's why I dream about him. :shrug:

[Lisa0825]

8. Thanks:-)

I love my little froggy too:-)

[Left Is Write]

3. Nope. Even my subconscious doesn't want to think about him.

We do share a daughter, though, so occasional actual contact is necessary.

[Redstone]

4. Good God, no.

Even my subconscious knows she's somebody to be avoided at all costs.

Redstone

[Left Is Write]

6. Interesting! Our response are nearly identical.

[Redstone]

12. Except I'm luckier than you are, because

I haven't had to have any contact with her for a number of years, even though we have a son (he broke contact with her the second he was old enough to make it stick).

Redstone

[skygazer]

5. Dreams are strange

My ex was horrible and abusive and I hate his guts with a passion. Every once in a while I dream about him. It's usually something pretty mundane - not good, not bad, just there. I always wake up with a creepy feeling like "why did I do THAT?"

[Maddy McCall]

11. Exactly the same as my story.

Mine was terribly abusive, too.

And my dreams are like your dreams, as well as my disgust at dreaming it when I awake.

:hi:

[sir_captain]

7. Only good things

It was a long time ago, and we're sort of friends now, but I certainly still miss her.

[Speck Tater]

9. Divorced after 25 years married and often dreamed

of my ex chasing me with a broom, trying to turn me into a mouse.

That was years aog. Content and peaceful now.

[Demit]

10. Every so often I dream we get back together and it was the wrong thing

to do--AGAIN. I realize that in the dream and feel trapped. Then I wake up and feel great and free all over again. We've been divorced for more than 20 years.

[last_texas_dem]

13. Yeah

I have an ex-girlfriend from a serious (three-year, give or take some months- kind of hard to say when it ended) relationship who is still one of my best friends and a big part of my life. I am more likely to remember the good times, but have some stressful dreams, too. It took me a long time to get over the end and in some ways I never will; not being the one who initiated the break-up makes it more difficult.

[Bunny]

14. I almost never dream about my ex-husband.

However, I frequently dream about the guy who stole my heart when I was seventeen. And then dumped me. The rat bastard.

[Abelman]

15. Yes

In fact, I still am not over it. It will be a year in May since I broke up with her, and it ranks amongst the greatest mistakes of my life, if not THE greatest.

[havocmom]

16. Dreams seem to come in clusters & evolve over the years.

Seems a good way to work through all the complex feelings.

Mine went from him just being there but not communicating, to fighting, crying, re-feeling the hurt and betrayal, to attempts at reconciling and re-analyzing all the mistakes (long after the divorce)which always left me feeling very annoyed, to attempts at reconciliation which I flat out refused cuz life is SOOO much better now. Those are cool as it reaffirms how much I have grown and how much better my present partner suits me.

Now when he shows up in a dream, it just annoys me. But as I usually have lucid dreams, I can make my dream self confront his image/presence in my dream to tell me what I need to be reminded or learn that applies to my present life. Since he has no part at all in my life now, his image in my dreams is a heads-up that I need to pay attention to something NOW.

The really odd thing is when I seem to have a cluster of dreams with him in them, our daughter has them too. We live a long way apart yet we often have clusters of dreams with similar themes! Not just about the rat-bastard either! It's good to raise a daughter who becomes your friend in her adulthood. It's very good indeed.

Peaceful sleep to you Maddy McCall! If you can, work on learning methods to help with lucid dreaming. Makes the healing so much more complete to wrestle with demons and enjoy the good memories that way.

[yellowdogintexas]

17. I do and I have been married to my second husband for 22 years!

However my ex spouse dreams are NIGHTMARES!!!!

Usually involving the fact that I am wanting the marriage legally ended and he just won't do it. In these dreams I am usually saying "Don't you get it, we aren't ever going to be happy, ever!"

Or I am in the wedding dress, in front of the minister and I have MARRIED THE WRONG MAN!!!!!!

[4_Legs_Good]

18. I actually often dream about a 3.5 year SO, and that I ended up marrying

her, and it's always very very depressing, and there's always the nagging feeling that I'm missing something (e.g. my wife!).

It's a very cool and reassuring dream, if kinda unsettling that I have it so often.

david

[WindRavenX]

19. yes

All the time.
I never dream, but ever since we broke up, I dream only of him.
And I wake up crying.
Ohh I hope he gets better ...and I hope we can be together in the future.

[all.of.me]

20. yes

over the last six years, i have dreamt about him in good and bad dreams. i have had dreams of SCREAMING at him, and then woken up in a foul mood and exhausted. it was like we'd spent the day toghether or something. it was awful.

that was in the beginning.

now that we get along better, i have more pleasant dreams about him, and he's in them more often.

yuck.

but not that often!

[fluffernutter]

21. yep, and always about the good times too.

i wonder why that happens.