Driving in Dallas and the rules of the road...

[Scooter24]

IFirst you must learn to pronounce the city name.
It is DAL-US, not DAL-ISS.

Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas has its own
version of traffic rules...."Hold on and pray".

There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas.
We all drive like that.

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline". . .
which has no Beginning and no end.

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7.
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
Cussed out and possibly shot.

When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when.
The light turns green before going to avoid crashing into all the
drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.

Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent
Form of entertainment. We had sooo much fun with that, so we have
added George Bush Freeway and the High Five to the mix.

All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase,
"Oh, we're in Fort Worth."

If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a Factory defect.
Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators.

All old ladies with blue hair in Mercedes have the right of way.
PERIOD.

Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand, Garland Road,
Marsh Lane, Josey Lane, 15th Street, Preston Road. . . all mysteriously
change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples).

The perfect example is what is MOSTLY known as Plano Road. On the
South end it is known as Lake Highlands Drive, cross Northwest Highway
and it! becomes Plano Road, go about 8 miles and it is briefly Greenville Ave,
Ave. K, and Highway 5. It ends in Sherman, TX.

If asking directions in Irving or SE Dallas, you must have knowledge Of Spanish.
If in central Richardson or on Harry Hines, Mandarin Chinese will be
your best bet.
If you stop to ask directions on Gaston or Live Oak, you better be armed.

A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of four
hours,although many
north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75.

The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85.
Anything less is considered downright sissy.

It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of
EAST NORTHWEST Highway. Don't let this confuse you.

The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR.
It also ends in Sherman.

LBJ Freeway is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons:!
"death" and "trap".

If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10 degrees
and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on.

If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, and it is Spring, the Byron
Nelson Golf
Classic is in the second round. If it is Fall, the Texas State Fair is going on.

If you go to the Fair, pay the $5.00 to park INSIDE Fair Park. Parking elsewhere
could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, etc.
If some guy
with a flag tries to get you to park in his 'yard', run over him.

All amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, race tracks, airports, etc.,
Are conveniently
located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking
on grassy areas.

With these simple rules in mind you are now ready to drive in Dallas.

Please try and keep up. :D

What are your local driving rules?

[Lithos]

1. Minor correction

North Dallas Tollway ends at 380 and does not go all the way up to Sherman. 289 (Preston Road) gets you close, but even then stops just west by a few miles).

L-

[kcwayne]

2. You forgot about the Beer Barn

When driving past a Beer Barn, it is mandatory to pull in and have a case of Lone Star Beer handed to you through your SUV window. If you miss the opportunity, you will have to drive 5 or 6 blocks through a dry (as in no alcohol sales allowed) precinct before you can buy beer again.

Oh, and after loading up with the Lone Star, pull into the drive through lane for the Gun shop next door and load up with ammo, all with the convenience of never leaving your car. You will need the ammo for when you get on the Beltway again. Pounding 4 or 5 Lone Stars on your way there will loosen your inhibition about firing on school busses.

[Scooter24]

3. I might have to check that out..haha

[luvLLB]

4. I lived there for 4 years, I hear ya.

[RebelOne]

5. A majority of those rules could apply to Atlanta also. n/t

[Iterate]

6. Local Rules? Autobahn, Stadt, or villiage?

It's all different. I can't remember ever driving in Dallas, many other US cities, most states, but not Dallas. I remember Seattle as being shockingly polite and civilized. It's been a while. I had to adapt to the German way.

I like driving in Germany now that I'm used to it. But I never relax, am never quite comfortable with it as I would be with any US crosstown rush hour. I'll have to think about the differences. Let me know if you're interested.

[redqueen]

7. Shoot... people routinely drive 65 on the city streets in Plano.

It's amazing.

[crispini]

8. You know, I actually DO enjoy the construction.

Isn't that scary? I like going through there and seeing what's new. And back when 75 was under construction, there was nothing quite like barrelling down it at 85 mph wondering exactly where they had moved the road to this week. :7

Oh, you forget the "secret names of roads." Every road must have at least two different names. Natives must never use the one that is actually on the sign when giving directions.

[yellowdogintexas]

37. I love it too. I enjoyed watching the Ft Worth Mixmaster going

up and the thrill of each little piece that was opened up. I was so excited the first time I drove over the highest over head...when it was all finally connected.

I am such a nerd.


Of course over here we have North Loop 820 which runs East/West, East Loop 820 which runs north/south, same for West Loop 820 and South Loop 820 is actually interstate 20 , but everybody calls it 820 ...forget that the signs actually say Interstate 20 from the point that the East Loop takes off to the north until you reach the point that the West loop takes off to the north.

You can get on McCart Avenue in far South Fort Worth, stay on the same piece of road driving straight north and you will be on McCart, Cleburn Road, Eighth Avenue and Summit Avenue by the time you reach downtown. I still haven't figured out why it gets to be Cleburn road for about 3 blocks.

We are a lot more laid back here, but we have our little quirks. I prefer to take the train to Dallas.

[Maestro]

9. It's bad but ever try

Houston? That is bad.

Personally, I would recommend to anyone hopping on highway 281 and driving through the Hill Country. Not all of Texas is pretty as is with all states but that area is truly gorgeous and much easier to navigate.

[crispini]

10. I love doing that.

In the spring. When the bluebonnets are out. Hm. Maybe I need a road trip in my future. :7

[djeseru]

Dallas/Tarrant counties is where I learned how to drive.

So now driving anywhere else is a breeze...although Austin is testing my patience...

[crispini]

12. Really? I think Boston is worse than here.

Boston.... :scared: They have even worse signage than WE do.

[djeseru]

13. Worse? Now, that does sound disconcerting...

Sadly, I've never been that far north. =(

[Mutley]

15. The worst signage i have EVER seen is

I-83 in Pennsylvania. I almost died on that highway more times than i care to remember...

[HippieCowgirl]

11. Driving in the Metroplex

Good morning Drivers! There's an overturned truck on Central Expressway, a fender-bender on I-35 at Royal that is causing a backup to Industrial, I-30 at Fair Park is getting by on the shoulder due to a four-car pileup from the HOV lane and expect onlooker delays on 635 at Skillman. George Bush turnpike is shut down due to a fuel spill and don't forget construction delays at 75 and 635 interchange. In Irving, a wreck on 183 eastbound has traffic backed up to Beltline.

Fort Worth is reporting no accidents and only the usual slowdown through downtown.

:)

[Bouncy Ball]

27. That was SO realistic!!!

That's how it sounds all the time!

Edit: you forgot to mention an accident on Walton Walker. For some reason that road has accidents on it 24/7.

[tammywammy]

14. All the number/named highways

183-Airport Freeway, 635-LBJ, 35E-Stemmons, 75-Central, 30-Tom Landry, 360 Angus G Wynne, etc.

That's the hardest part. I work at a car dealership, and I'm always giving directions. I can't just say get on 183, no it's take 635/LBJ to 35/Stemmons, to loop 12, to 183/Airport Freeway.

And people who live in North Dallas don't know where anything is. "What Irving...where's that?"

[Bouncy Ball]

24. LMAO!!!

They truly don't, you're right!

And it's funny what "north Dallas" is anymore.

My grandparents bought a house right off of Midway and 635 in the early 70s and that was FAR north Dallas.

Hell, now that's not even north anymore.

[Buns_of_Fire]

16. I actually drove downtown. Once.

From that point forward, I parked it at the DART station near my apartment (I was living just off Greenville Hwy., near the Whataburger and the condom store). That was where I learned that yes, children, a rear-view mirror CAN melt right off the windshield in summer.

Eh. :shrug: Rear-view mirrors are for wimps, anyway.

[crispini]

18. Meh. Downtown's not that bad.

Carefully study a map with the one way streets marked properly before you go and you'll figure it out. Otherwise, you're in for Wrong-Way Wackiness! :P

[Bouncy Ball]

23. I HATE one-way streets. They freak me the hell out.

And I hate driving in downtown. Rather just park and walk.

[Bouncy Ball]

22. The condom store! I just saw it! (Had to drive to Richardson today.)

God, it was horrible. But at least no accidents, so there's that.

[ChoralScholar]

33. You know what else is right near there:

Bakers Ribs.... mmmmm....

[Mojambo]

17. Too true

I spent 3 days driving a rental car in Dallas and I was never so scared in my entire life.

I couldn't wait to get on a plane and head home to Seattle, where traffic is terrible but relatively safe!

[Bouncy Ball]

19. As a born Dallasite who still lives around here, that cracked me up.

And it's totally true, especially this:

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline". . .
which has no Beginning and no end.

OMG. I laughed so hard. I grew up in a suburb of Dallas VERY far from here (on the other side) and THERE IS A BELTLINE OVER THERE, TOO. And it's the same damn one.

Beltline Road is infinite.

Also, Walnut Avenue in Garland is now known as Ho Chi Minh Trail, ok?

If you are trying to merge, putting your blinker on doesn't mean SHIT. You also have to lean out your window, get eye contact, put up praying/begging hands WHILE continuing to scoot forward (lest the person behind you shoots you) and even then, there is no guarantee.

[crispini]

29. Merging ... everyone's always been very nice to me.

Maybe I'm just oblivious? :shrug: Everyone who lets me in, though, is ALWAYS rewarded with a wave. Maybe it's good karma.

[Bouncy Ball]

31. Well, I have had people just drive past, drive past, drive past

and it's OBVIOUS you need in because your freaking lane has ENDED.

Some people act like their whole world will come crashing down if they let ONE car in front of them.

I always let one car in front of me.

[Bouncy Ball]

20. One more thing.

If you go north on 75 and exit Spring Valley and go east, then decide to come back to 75, you MUST LOOK OUT. If you don't watch it, you will magically QUICKLY find yourself in a strange underground tunnel and then you will have to go a long ways until you can turn around and get back to 75.

THEN, you have to go alongside 75 for a while, get scared you are going to be forced on to 635, but you aren't! Ha ha fooled you! You find yourself at Coit Road and doooo a rounnnnd about, then you have no idea what direction you are going, go past construction, go past construction, go past construction, get scared AGAIN you are about to be forced on to 635, HA! tricked you again, and then VOILA! magically you are on 75 south! But only if you don't manage to be forced into the turn lanes at Prestonwood.

I'm a NATIVE and it's mind-scrambling.

[crispini]

26. I LOVE THAT SHIT!

Mwahahahahahaha! Round and around and around we go, where we stop, nobody knows!

My commute will be so much less entertaining when they finally finish all the shit they're building. When's that, 2007? Safe for a while. :P

Edit: check this out: www.highfivecam.com

[Bouncy Ball]

28. I HATE THAT SHIT!

I actually found myself in that stupid Spring Valley tunnel today and I yelled "I HATE RICHARDSON!!!" in my car. Dammit.

[crispini]

30. Hee hee hee hee hee.

After you go through the tunnel.... next stop, Hades! :P

[Schema Thing]

21. I'm so used to it all, I don't even notice.

Now Paris... that is some crazy shit!

[Bouncy Ball]

25. I'm afraid I am a classic, aggressive Dallas driver.

Is that bad?

I have no problem "bulldogging" my way into a lane or merging that way, because hell, no one's gonna let me in anyway.

And I believe in the use of the horn. A tap is nice. A lean on it is "get the fuck out of my way."

Apparently in Austin, honking is verboten unless you are about to be killed.

Also I drive too fast. Always.

[Schema Thing]

35. I'm aggressive too, but in a passive way, lol

in my younger years, I just had to be out front. So I was.

oth, perhaps because of that, it's never particularly bothered me if someone else drove fast, or got ahead of me. If I'm in the mood, I'll just get out front, if not, why should I care if someone else is?

So I do fine in Dallas, but all the aggression and pissiness is lost on me. For instance, if motorcyclist tried to "filter" (ride between lanes of slow moving cars like is done in Cali, Paris, etc.) here, they'd likely be killed. I don't get it, someone else, using another part of the road, should not in any way bother anyone else, we'd all like to get where we are going as fast as possible.

Honestly, I don't think horns are very appropriate anywhere in Texas, except as the odd "hey, watch out bud, I'm here" device. We just aren't weaving in and out and needing to inform people of our presence that much like they are in a real city like NY. :D

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

32. You forgot that I-35E does NOT mean "35 East"!

It's important.

[crispini]

34. Yes, I35E runs North and South.

Except some spots where it kind of wiggles around. :P

[Bok_Tukalo]

36. There are two kinds of people

Those who speed up for yellow lights and those who slow down.

And they should not marry. And if they DO marry, and find themselves driving in two cars, one following the other, the former, and I can't stress this enough, should ALWAYS lead the latter.

I impart this wisdom from personal experience.

[Scooter24]

38. LOL...

[CO Liberal]

39. Red Lights Are Optional In Pueblo, Colorado

And roughly two-thirds of the cars in Pueblo are uninsured.