The Official "Punchlines Only" Thread
CO Liberal
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Wed Apr-13-05 03:52 PM
Original message
The Official "Punchlines Only" Thread
Where we only post the punchlines, since everyone knows the joke. I'll start with the next post.
CO Liberal
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Wed Apr-13-05 03:52 PM
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1. "Read the Card! Read the Card!!!"
Richard Steele
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Wed Apr-13-05 03:53 PM
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2. "They get wool from them"
CO Liberal
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Wed Apr-13-05 03:54 PM
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3. "Da da da dum dum dum - Your Sister Rose is Dead...."
swag
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Wed Apr-13-05 03:55 PM
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4. "Shoot the dog! Shoot the dog!"
EstimatedProphet
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Wed Apr-13-05 03:55 PM
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5. "If this is my thermometer then where the hell is my cigar?"
Richardo
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Wed Apr-13-05 03:57 PM
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6. "$20 just like downtown."
Lautremont
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Wed Apr-13-05 03:57 PM
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7. Bartender says "Ham sandwich?"
SOteric
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Wed Apr-13-05 03:57 PM
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8. Sure. Who's he gonna tell?
Cannikin
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Wed Apr-13-05 03:58 PM
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9. "Rectum? Nearly killed em."
Midnight Rambler
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Wed Apr-13-05 03:58 PM
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10. I don't know about the other two...
But the fella' in the middle looks like Willie Nelson
Magrittes Pipe
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Wed Apr-13-05 03:59 PM
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11. Liquor? I hardly know her!
Rainbowreflect
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:01 PM
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12. Where's the bitch with the impacted molar?
Parrcrow
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:02 PM
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bertha katzenengel
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:02 PM
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Richardo
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:04 PM
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15. "Well usually we just *ride* the camel to the whorehouse in town"
Edited on Wed Apr-13-05 04:05 PM by Richardo
rock
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:29 PM
Response to Reply #15
36. kewl - I thought about posting that one myself
bridgit
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:04 PM
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16. "if i get any closer i'll be standing behind you"
CO Liberal
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:05 PM
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17. "If I Could Walk That Way, I Wouldn't NEED The Powder"
CO Liberal
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:07 PM
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18. "I Bit Her Boob, Then She Farted and Flew Out The Window"
Redstone
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:09 PM
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19. Tonto turned to him and said, "What you mean WE, white man?"
lpbk2713
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:20 PM
Response to Reply #19
No. no, Tonto. I told you go find a big POSSE .
Lone Pawn
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Wed Apr-13-05 05:57 PM
Response to Reply #27
45. And the farmer said, "No, that's my BULL."
Mass_Liberal
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:11 PM
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so ten minutes later a badly beaten bear runs out of the woods screaming, "I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit!"
Mass_Liberal
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:11 PM
Response to Reply #20
So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit. (different joke)
LostinVA
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:13 PM
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22. "My mother came from Ireland!"
Parrcrow
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:19 PM
Response to Reply #22
Edited on Wed Apr-13-05 04:21 PM by Parrcrow
should have been a reply to the O P
rock
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:14 PM
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23. "OK, now where's that Eskimo I'm supposed to fight"
Dukkha
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:18 PM
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24. He heard kids' pants were half off
Worst Username Ever
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:19 PM
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25. "Mountain Time," Get it?
NoSheep
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:22 PM
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28. No, but the guy last night was!
NoSheep
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:22 PM
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31. I don't know what that was, but it about tore my asshole UP!
NoSheep
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:23 PM
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33. I gotta million of um!
pdx_prog
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:22 PM
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29. and the other redneck said...
ok...just don't put my head in the fence like that.... Or and the blonde said, I will, just don't hit me on the head like that...
Left Is Write
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:22 PM
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30. The genie let out a sigh and said, " Let me see the damn map again."
NoSheep
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:23 PM
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Richardo
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:24 PM
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34. "I thought you said a 12" pianist"
AzDar
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:28 PM
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35. "That's ok Father, we aren't welcome in Kroger's anymore, either!"...n/t
Beaverhausen
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:30 PM
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37. and the deaf nun says, "Father who?"
Parrcrow
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:33 PM
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Beaverhausen
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Wed Apr-13-05 04:33 PM
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39. Then the doctor says, "I can clearly see your nuts."
saltpoint
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Wed Apr-13-05 05:00 PM
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40. "Look, Peter! You can see your house from here!"
Speck Tater
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Wed Apr-13-05 05:06 PM
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41. Hahahaha! Joe's out there picking a watermelon!
CO Liberal
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Wed Apr-13-05 05:25 PM
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42. "Other Than That, Mrs. Lincoln, How Did You Like The Play?"
radfringe
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Wed Apr-13-05 05:28 PM
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43. there's a knot in the rope
barackmyworld
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Wed Apr-13-05 05:52 PM
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bmbmd
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Wed Apr-13-05 06:23 PM
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Beaverhausen
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Wed Apr-13-05 06:33 PM
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47. "...and there's a taffy pull at St. Peter's..."
Debi
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Wed Apr-13-05 06:35 PM
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48. "A lovely thing, but not much good in a fight"
trof
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Wed Apr-13-05 06:36 PM
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49. "So the butler stuck his d*ck in the mashed potatos."
The late American humorist H. Allen Smith claimed that this was the punchline to a joke that he could never remember and was unable to find. He also claimed that ALL "dirty" jokes originated in Valdosta, Georgia.
Monkey see Monkey Do
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Wed Apr-13-05 06:52 PM
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50. "... but the mother superior was too slow."
MisterP
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Wed Apr-13-05 06:56 PM
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51. "You shouldn't 'ave criticized Lawee!"
maveric
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Wed Apr-13-05 06:59 PM
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52. "More jumper cables than a Mexican wedding"
Arkana
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Wed Apr-13-05 07:14 PM
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53. "Oh, and you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"
4_Legs_Good
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Wed Apr-13-05 07:18 PM
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54. I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck and twenty-five bucks for a
davsand
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Wed Apr-13-05 08:30 PM
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55. That's ok--it wasn't my finger.
Endangered Specie
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Wed Apr-13-05 08:32 PM
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56. To get to the other side
mac56
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Wed Apr-13-05 08:35 PM
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57. "Two candy bars and a Pepsi. Why?"
ChoralScholar
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Wed Apr-13-05 09:54 PM
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58. but do they call me "McGregor the great stone tower builder?"
Nay, they don't.....but you fuck ONE GOAT.....
Left Is Write
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Wed Apr-13-05 10:13 PM
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61. MacGregor! One of my favorite jokes EVAH.
My brother is a master at telling that one.
uppityperson
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Wed Apr-13-05 10:12 PM
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uppityperson
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Wed Apr-13-05 10:12 PM
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Left Is Write
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Wed Apr-13-05 10:13 PM
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62. "That was no lady! That was my wife!"
uppityperson
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Wed Apr-13-05 10:14 PM
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Lars39
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Wed Apr-13-05 10:16 PM
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derby378
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Wed Apr-13-05 10:19 PM
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65. "...and it looked so good, I ate it myself!"
derby378
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Wed Apr-13-05 10:23 PM
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66. "...but doesn't that darned calf have a mother?"
CO Liberal
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Wed Apr-13-05 11:15 PM
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67. Stapled to the Chicken
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Sun May 05th 2024, 03:51 AM
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