Psst.......Mrs. Matcom

[yvr girl]

Did you know that you have to add Britney to the list? You are such a saint.

[JohnKleeb]

1. Youre telling me Matcom is the father to the baby?

Shucks I was told it was Tom Delay.

[yvr girl]

2. No John, you're going to have another half-spawn

It sucks to be you at Christmas.

[JohnKleeb]

3. Oh dear god

:cry: btw when we go to that bowling place in Boston, can we find out who my mommy is?

[yvr girl]

4. Here's the plan

Betty and I are going to get Will and Matcom sloshed. Then we're going to lead them down to the end of the alley and tie them to the machine that picks up the pins. I'm not sure if we're going to have their heads facing up the alley...or other vulnerable parts....Anyway, we start tossing balls until they talk. One of them is bound to crack.

Whadya think?

[matcom]

5. the same alley where we did the NASTY that created our SPAWN?

ah memories. i think i'll sing

[yvr girl]

6. Not in front of Kleeb

for heavens sake.

[matcom]

7. kleeb needs to know the truth

it is time

[yvr girl]

8. Please tell me you're not getting him a hooker in Boston

[matcom]

9. a father has to "learn" his son don't he?

its like a Barmitzvah only different

[yvr girl]

10. Since when have you been so concerned about being a good parent

Look what you did to Pitt - he's a mess.

You haven't so much as changed our spawn's nappies.

And I think we all know Britney is on her own.

[matcom]

11. Pitt was a mess BEFORE he met my dog

i am currently writing the eBay description for our Spawn's auction (is THAT not LOVE?)

Britney: never even saw her face. she had her back to me the entire time.

[yvr girl]

14. You're Pitt's father too

And he's afraid of your dog.

I suppose I should be grateful that I got cuddled in the alley.

[matcom]

15. yes you should

and i expect payment in the mail by Friday

[yvr girl]

25. Payment. I don't think so.

Besides, you told me I was special. Duplicitous bastard.

:cry:

Don't touch me.

[matcom]

28. but honey you ARE special

which is why i don't make you do math problems!

SEE how much i love you?

[yvr girl]

29. Grr

I'd feel more special with diamonds.

A nice pair of earrings and I MIGHT let you touch me again.

[JohnKleeb]

12. What!?! youre my mommy!

[matcom]

13. no son.

I am

[JohnKleeb]

17. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

Whoa now, christ here I am converting music and you tell me this :cry:.

[matcom]

19. i know it is difficult but

everything will be fine. your Pug and I love you very much and my mistress will pay for your therapy. You will turn out to be a normal, well adjusted half-man.

trust me

[JohnKleeb]

20. I hope so

Its just difficult ma.

[matcom]

21. careful!

don't sas back or you'll get the switch

[JohnKleeb]

22. I wasn't sassing ma'am

No ma'am, not at all.

[matcom]

23. that's better

now come here and tend to momma's goiter

[JohnKleeb]

24. But ma I got a test tommorow on supreme court justices

[matcom]

26. don't worry

i don't think any of them are pregnant (*fingers crossed*)

you should pass the test just fine

[JohnKleeb]

30. Thanks ma

I think I got it too. Ma I told you about Clarence, he treats his women like dirt, now I know why you don't like me bringing coke in to the house, don't worry, we'll sue his ass.

[yvr girl]

27. So you WERE the CATCHER

I guess Pitt was telling the truth.

[yvr girl]

16. No. I just KNOW your father.

[JohnKleeb]

18. Ok, Ok

Nerrrrrrvous.