How do I pill this cat?

[spinbaby]

With all the cat people in here, I thought maybe someone would have a suggestion on how to get a pill down a particularly large and stubborn cat. Mind you, I'm no stranger to putting pills down cats--I've had cats for years and one of ours gets three pills a day for her thyroid condition--but this cat has gotten the best of us.

Anyway, I have:

• One very large, very strong cat who's suspicious of my motives.

• One and one half pills to treat tape worms.

• One piller--one of those plastic syringe things with a plunger to shoot a pill down a cat.

• One towel.

• One helper.

Last night, we attempted to wrap cat in towel and shoot pills down his throat. He turned into a slashing, spitting wildcat. Remember those cartoons with the Tasmanian Devil? It was kind of like that. Both helper and I have scratches but the pills are not in the cat.

Any suggestions?

[cornermouse]

1. Take the cat to the vet and say "help."

[spinbaby]

3. That might be my best bet

Hate to do it, though--miles to the vet and traumatic for the cat.

[Skittles]

8. that''s what I did with a particularly agressive cat

I learned after several deep scratches it was not in the cards for me to be successful

[spinbaby]

14. He's not usually aggressive

In fact, he's usually quite a snuggler. But he's very definite that he doesn't want pills.

[progressor]

2. What always worked for me is...

hold the cat down. Firmly, if it's giving you trouble. Hold its mouth open, drop pills on tongue as far back as possible (it may gag, but it'll live). Hold mouth closed while rubbing it's throat to get it to swallow.

Sometimes they give you trouble and you have to man-handle them a bit.

Don't hurt it, of course. ;)

Edit: The towel is a great idea - woulda saved me many cotton balls and peroxide. Just hold on tight, those little bastards can go apeshit! ;D

[cornermouse]

5. Uhh.

I got bit with that approach. Had two people manhandling a towel wrapped cat, tried to put the pill in, got bit, bled a LOT, hurt a lot too. Never Again!

[progressor]

7. Haha!

Sorry to hear it. I've always been able to bring a cat into submission.

(Once again, without hurting it!)

[Spinzonner]

4. Could be worse

Could be a suppository

[Frozen Hamster]

6. The proper procedure of giving a cat a pill is...

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat left arm and repeat the process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler in to mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink one beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cool water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck, leave head showing. Force mouth open with desert spoon. Shoot pill down throat with rubber band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the f------ cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13) Tie the little bastard's front paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home and order new table.

[progressor]

9. Hahaha!

Good one.

[spinbaby]

15. The other half of this is...

How to give a pill to a dog:

1) Wrap pill in bacon.
2) Make him beg.

[DRoseDARs]

10. Once they've tasted Human blood, they want nothing else...

Remember to sleep with one eye open from now on.

Seriously, just stick the pill in some smallish clump of meat and let the cat eat it on its own. Failing that, grind the pill and mix it with some strongly-flavored food the cat will eat; hopefully it'll mask the taste enough for the cat not to notice.

Works on me, at least. ;)

[flvegan]

11. Crush pills, combine well with either tuna or the smelliest canned food

available for kitty.

[iconoclastic cat]

12. You're freaking the cat out. That's why it's not working.

Try finding the cat when he is asleep, then very gently pick him up and place him between your knees facing out (don't squeeze). Pet him until the shock wears off. Then have your helper cradle the cat's head from the front. Tilt the cat's head back slightly, then gently push your thumb and forefinger between his (the cat's) jaws. Pop the pill down his throat, then gently hold his head back and his mouth shut.

I do this every day to two sick cats. They are now so used to it, they don't even put up a fight.

[Jamastiene]

13. Good luck

As much as I love my Sunday Girl, she fights me tooth and nail (literally) every other day when I have to give her her pill. I have tried a varied approach. One day I will wait until she is asleep and sneak up behind her with her favorite treat and the pill. I move in quickly and throw the pill down her throat holding her head back before I throw it in. That seems to work the best. You have to MOVE QUICKLY and have all your movements coordinated before you begin to move. If you think it through first and find the best angle (from behind is part of it, but are you left handed or right handed? That matters.) It has to be one motion or it won't work.

The first time I did that, I didn't have a treat ready and didn't think to offer her a treat. She did try to drink my soft drinks and my aunt's coffee to keep me from winning, but she eventually slept again. The next time I did it and *then* offered her a treat. She can hear any food related sounds in her deepest sleep. AND she can hear me when I open the pill bottle no matter how ninja like quiet I try to be. I even walked to the other end of the place and went into a room and closed the door. She still heard me. I have to take the pill out well in advance (like several hours) and leave it laying on the counter top. I have to coordinate and plan. I actually wrote this plan out before I tried my first successful attempt at pilling her without needing bandaids after. It helps if you know a football coach, choreographer or a military person who is good with planning and coordinating strategies and moves.

Here's something to tide you over while you take all this in.
http://www.catclinic.co.uk/fun/givepill.htm

[KyndCulture]

16. Take cat back to vet, DEMAND LIQUID medicine...

the life you save may be your own..

[Catshrink]

17. Buy a pill pulverizer...

pulverize the pill and mix it in with a little bit of of his favorite and smelliest canned food. He'll scarf it up and never know what hit him. I do this with my Sammy who is a 25 pound love bug -- the sweetest and gentlest cat alive. Until it's pill time.