Dumbest company name or brand name?

[Bossy Monkey]

Some that leap to mind:
Pet Milk. (Which pet? How did you milk her?)
Roadrunner Bail Bonds. (It's around the corner from me. I swear I'm not making this up!)
Lipton Pasta Sides. (Mmmmm! Pesticides!)

I know there's a gazillion of these; let's come up with the complete list!

Edit: Forgot the Dairy Queen Moolatte. Umm, fellas, did you ask anybody about this or maybe, I don't know, say it aloud?
And the all time champeen, Onan. Their site, I swear by all that's holy, kicks off with the slogan: "Onan provides the power that keeps you going." Well yeah, but I don't go around bragging about it.
http://www.onan.com

Editedit: Also forgot the Midwest's favorite convenience store, Kum-n-Go. Gives a whole new meaning to QuickieMart, doesn't it?

[phrenzy]

1. AIDS

wasn't there some medicine simply called "AIDS"? in the early 80s? That one went away pretty fast.

[Bossy Monkey]

4. There was a chocolate that was supposed to help you diet

Forget whether it was spelled Aids or something cutesy with a Y in it. I'll see if I can look it up.

Edit: The internets feel that it was Ayds. As I recall, they were heavily advertised in the '70s, went away in the '80s for obvious reasons.

[xray s]

8. I think it was Ayds

In the 60's. Yeah...I still remember the 60's! :)

[boilerbabe]

50. it was a diet reducing chocolate thingy

[Deja Q]

2. Schwing Concrete Manufacturing. (and here's a pic)

They are located in White Bear, MN.

With a name like Schwing, you know it's going to be hard like concrete! (Oh, I wish that was their motto!)

[Cannikin]

3. Amigone Funeral Home

http://www.amigone.com/ No shit. Its really is pronounced am-I-gone.

[Bossy Monkey]

5. I've got a picture of a pretty good funeral home but I forget the name

I'll go look that up, too, and have it on edit

Edit: Not as funny as I thought: Square Deal Funeral Home, somewhere in rural SC, Bennettsville probably. Still pretty odd.

[xray s]

6. Fifth Third Bank

What a stupid name. I mean, what happened to First, Second, Third and Fourth Third Bank? Is Fifth Third Bank bigger than Third Fifth Bank? :crazy:

[gmoney]

7. Butt Construction Company

http://buttconstruction.com/

No shit...

[DBoon]

13. H.E. Butts Grovery Stores

in TX, actually seems to be a pretty decent chain

[Dervill Crow]

40. I read that as Butt Constriction Company.

I don't know if it's because I spend too much time proofing medical reports or my eyes are just tired.

It must be bedtime. Or bifocal time.

[khashka]

9. Proctor and Gamble

Ok, it's just the way my mind works, but it seems like shorthand for a gamble with proctology. Ick. And I apologize.

Although, for me, the worst are the allergy medicines Flonase and Nasochrom. Yuck. The first sounds like snot shooting out out your nose like a waterfall -and ain't that a pretty picture? - while the second sounds like some sort of cybernetic/nasal combination that will menace Linda Hamilton for an hour and a half with stupid catchphrases and sniffles. I'll stay stuffed up and keep a hanky in my pocket, thank you very much.

Khash.

[Dervill Crow]

41. How about Fleet Enema?

It used to be Fleet's until JAMA and AAMT decided to drop the possessive forms of eponyms. Now it sounds like something that should never be used independent from running shoes.

[khashka]

45. That's a good one

Although for me having lived in SF and experienced a number of Fleet Weeks....

It's always sounded to me like a personal ad for really kinky Navy boys.

Khash.

[Radio_Lady]

52. Drug name chosen by computer for anti-depressant: FUKITOL

[Mrs_Beastman]

10. I've have to giggle childishly when I see a 'snap-on tools' truck

but that's just my sick mind

[vpigrad]

11. Chaps

That doesn't sound like very comfortable clothing.

[BOSSHOG]

12. Boudreaux's Butt Paste

A very fine diaper rash soother produced in Loooo-zeee-anna.

[jus_the_facts]

32. Dammit....you beat me to it....now that just chaps my ass.....

:D

[graywarrior]

14. Beaver Construction

A women's construction company in norther Massachusetts late 80's. I shit you not.

[vpigrad]

39. There's a "Beaver Clinic" in Rock Hill, SC

Surprisingly, it's one of those quack chiropractors. It was robbed when I was in town working. I heard over and over again on the radio "someone robbed the Beaver Clinic." There were a lot of good jobs on the job site that day.

[phrenzy]

15. Bush & Son

[Sugar Smack]

16. "Nads".

Isn't that some kind of Australian face cream?

Nads.

[Bossy Monkey]

17. Much worse than that; hair removal cream

What oh what on Earth were they thinking?

[phrenzy]

18. Sambo's

Forgot all about that one.

[CornField]

19. In Coweta, Oklahoma many moons ago there were three businesses on Main St.

It is one of those downtown areas where the buildings all run together. The three businesses, with identical signs above their storefronts: Holder Insurance, Wright Funeral Home (still in business) and Attorney Raper.

"Holder, Wright & Raper"

[phrenzy]

20. ROTFLMAO

Oh my god - it's been a long time since a net posting made me keel over laughing - but this one got me.,....

LOL

'Holder, Wright & Raper'

[NV Whino]

21. this one is a sort of failed translation

Many moons ago when China first opened its gates. They had a trade show in San Francisco to exhibit goods they would like to export. One was a camera called the "Peahen."

My guess is they were going for "Argus" and something got lost in the translation. Needless to say, I have never sen a Peahen camera for sale in the U.S.

[Bossy Monkey]

22. Kind of brings to mind the Daihatsu Charade

At least the Peahen people thought better of the name before it got to showrooms; I don't know what Daihatsu was thinking.

Edit: Apparently they're still going strong (or at least are still on sale) at least 20 years after being introduced. Maybe I'm the only one who thinks this is a stupid name.

[xmas74]

23. I had an officer once pull over a truck

that was registered to the company Big Boys Erection Toys (and no, I did not make that up).

[aePrime]

24. Siemens

I don't care if it is your last name. If you use that for a company name, you need to turn your ego down a bit.

[Bossy Monkey]

26. Funny, but funnier if it were an American or British company

Apparently the German for semen is Samenflüssigkeit
per this lexicon: http://www.iee.et.tu-dresden.de/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/wernerr/search.sh?string=semen&submit4=Search&nocase=ON&hits=50
Well, that's the search result; I can't figure out how to get just the start page.

[Radio_Lady]

53. My son was delivered by Dr. Irwin Seaman, obstetrician --

Slight misspelling, but still funny.

Now we have an HMO and our primary care physician used to be:

Dr. Bills

My husband gets a kick out of saying, "How much is the co-pay for Dr. Bills?"

[KamaAina]

25. Ham Produce & Seafood

you see their trucks all over O'ahu.



"Pardon me, do you have any beef?"

"No, just ham, produce and seafood."

"How about chicken?"

"No..."

[Red State Rebel]

27. Seen on I44 near Joplin, MO - FAG

I have no idea what this company does, but there are large red letters on the lawn right next to the highway FAG.

I almost went off the road!

[jmowreader]

29. They make bearings

It's a German bearing maker and it's right up there with Timken as far as quality goes.

[Bossy Monkey]

31. You should see the website! "Where do I buy FAG products?"

Laughing 'til I'm crying here!: http://www.fag.de/NASApp/Access/index.jsp?lang=1
They actually nailed down www.fag.com, though it just forwards you to the site above (which, to be honest, is dull beyond belief apart from the line quoted in the subject line).

[CornField]

62. Everytime we travel to Oklahoma, we giggle about that!

Silly us! We thought we were the only ones. :D

[sendero]

28. I have a particular aversion...

... to all company names that are weird misspellings and concatenations of real words.

"Agilent" comes to mind. "agile and intelligent", probably more aptly named "Incompetus".

How about the "Achieva". If you are driving this rolling comedy, you've achieved little :)

[Bossy Monkey]

47. Lucent, Verizon... they drive me crazy, too

Oh for the days when companies just chose names that said: SCREW YOU, WE'RE EVIL: Exxon, Textron, etc. Wait-- I hated those, too. Oh well.

[nuxvomica]

30. Onan is owned by Cummins Inc.

:rofl:

[Bossy Monkey]

33. Who in turn sport the slogan: Unleashing the Power of Cummins

I swear I thought you were making this up.

[nuxvomica]

34. I moved to my current office a few years ago

The guys who work there had been there for years before. One day, the Onan-Cummins truck came to service (yuk, yuk) our generator. I burst out laughing and said "Onan"? "Cummins"? They've got to be kidding. The other guys started laughing. It never dawned on them before!

[Cooley Hurd]

35. A. Duie Pyle (pronounced "dooey?"):

:shrug:

[Applan]

36. Stiff Nipples- UK air conditionaing company

http://www.aircraftresourcecenter.com/TPC/Funny_Pictures/0001-1000/0201-0300/0233/TPC_232.htm

Actually this qualifies as the best name ever

[Starlight]

42. Oh my.

:wow:

[Lerkfish]

37. Richard Head Toyota, a real dealership in Columbia, MO.

and Don Raper RVs in Indiana

[Bossy Monkey]

54. Does he yell on TV: "'Cause Dick Head is INSANE!"?

No, I'm not going to do the second one.

[Lerkfish]

55. a lot jokes were made at his expans..er...expense.

:)

[MadHound]

64. Now don't forget`

Dick Ewers(pronounced Yours) Tires, also in Columbia.

And damn, somebody also beat me to FAG bearings in Joplin.

[Floogeldy]

38. Fisher's Nuts. Come on! Fish aren't nuts. They don't even have nuts!

B-)

[philosophie_en_rose]

43. Calpis

When I was a child overseas, there was a brand of citrus drink called "Calpis." It actually tasted pretty good, but no one would have it in school. It sort of looked like what it sounds like. :(

The US imports are called "Calpico."

[Emops]

44. For all your tire needs:

[lonestarnot]

46. Whoflungdung Chinese Restaurant

[xmas74]

48. Holden Package

It's a liquor store in Holden, MO. I have met a few people who have gotten out of their vehicles, stood in front of the sign and held their "packages" just for the great pic.

[Historic NY]

49. Mr Zog's Sex Wax

[Radio_Lady]

51. Don't forget the religion that the Onan Company supports: ONANISM!

[Seabiscuit]

56. "Odorono" deoderant. Don't think it's still on the market.

[Bossy Monkey]

59. Heck, I thought The Who just made this up

Should have known, though, since obviously they didn't make up Heinz Baked Beans.

[Seabiscuit]

60. Odorono was a real product in the 50's and 60's.

[DelawareValleyDem]

57. Fluke

makers of electronic testing equipment. It's tough to work that into a slogan - "If it works, you know it's a Fluke" just doesn't cut it.

[bif]

58. The Big BM

There was a local grocery store called Bob's Market. But the sign out front read The Big BM!

[ImpeachBush]

61. Hi Fi Fo Fum - in Toronto

Guess what they sell?

[dbt]

63. Once upon a time in Hot Springs, Arkansas: Gross Mortuary.

I shit you not.

:evilgrin:

[Mutley]

65. First Virginia Bank of Maryland

It's in Ocean City, Maryland.

[antigone382]

66. Humpus Bumpus used books (in Cumming, GA, no less.)

And I'm not even joking.

Also, in Manchester, TN, Gannon Used Auto Sales.

[bmbmd]

67. How about that toilet paper

"Surpass"?

[lumberingbear]

68. Does anyone use "Acme" as a name any more?

Boring, Generic

[Bossy Monkey]

69. According to their site, Acme Markets merged with Albertson's

but they appear still to be operating as Acme. Maybe Philly/ NJ DUers can check in and verify.

I dunno, it means the exact same thing as Zenith. Perfectly nice word to my ears, and that's even leaving aside the Looney Tunes associations.

[HEyHEY]

70. Siemens

[Bossy Monkey]

71. Start with Onan, on to Cummins, then Siemens twice. Thank goodness this

isn't a sex thread!