my neighbor is very, very, very angry with me

[sniffa]

and i suppose rightfuLLy so...

i've Lived in my apartment for aLmost 3 years now - top fLoor and in a dumpy area... i have a mostLy private (in back - Lots of trees) baLcony that hangs over a brook that runs aLong the property Line.

usuaLLy when i'm drinking, i'LL reLieve myseLf into the brook. i don't think much of it, since i'm just sending it to the treatment pLant.. and, it's my new favorite hobby.

anyhow.. Late friday night, i step out there once again to smoke and make the brook babbLe some more. so, as i'm going a door opens and i see a shadow coming so i stop as quickLy as i can, and zip up.
for some reason, i assume this person is coming for me (i'm a LiL drunk) and i actuaLLy skuLk back into the shadows, in a cowering manner.

after about a minute (most LikeLy Less, but it seemed Like a Long time) i come out from the shadows to see if the guy is stiLL there - and there he is staring at me with fire in his eyes. i gasped, and went back into the shadows - not knowing why; i just had a creeped out feeLing.

then i hear, "you can stand up now!" to which i just ignored because i was stiLL trying to process what was going on. so the guy continues yeLLing up to me, "this is your naaaaayyyyybor. i deeeemand respect! this is your naaaaaybor here - come out here now to taLk to me!"

so i finaLLy come out of the shadows and over to the edge of the baLcony (where the parking Lights are so i can be seen) to taLk to the guy... and then he reaLLy Lets Loose. it was mostLy, "i Liiiiiivvvveee down heeeerreeee!!! what the heLL is wrooooonnnngggg with you!?" (yeah, he eLongated certian syLLabLes Like that)

i was kinda stunned and i just stood there staring as he continued to yeLL. he informed me that i've been doing this for "yeeeeaaaarrrrrssss" and more questioning of what is wrong with me. at some point, i say i'm sorry, and i won't do it anymore.

he apparentLy wanted a fight or just wasn't expecting that, because he then expLoded and reaLLy started yeLLing at me in a threatening manner.

again, i just stared - now i'm dumbfounded, and kinda scared. after about another minute of yeLLing, i said, 'i'm sorry. i wiLL never, ever, do that again" and i figured wouLd be the end of that.

oh no - sorry, wasn't good enough for him, as he continued to berate me, and question my sanity. i finaLLy nodded and skuLked back into the shadows. i can understand someone getting upset; i'd understand it even more so if he was earthy-crunchy who was upset with me poLLuting a man-made ditch with my urine... but this guy was out for bLood Like i was peeing on his porch (he doesn't have one) or something. he apparentLy, was buiLding that pent-up rage against me for yeeeeeaaaarrrrrssssss.

and so that, is why you shouLdn't pee into brooks when you think no one is watching.

[sui generis]

1. well that's a pisser

he sounds like you pissed him off. Urine big trouble with him now.

[sniffa]

15. my aLternate titLe for this thread

'urine troubLe'

;)

[Champ]

86. Hahahahahaha

That made be laugh :D

[meisje]

2. I would have called the police on you!

maybe you should seek some type of help

[sniffa]

5. i shouLd get heLp

i'm thinking of buying a gun... or severaL guns.

[donheld]

76. That's far from necessary

who the hell should care if he pees off the balcony.

[nadinbrzezinski]

3. Be aware doing that in public

can get yuo a ticket, and it is not legal in most states

That is for health reasons

And you are lucky your neighboor did not call the cops

[sniffa]

8. eh, i suppose

it wouLd have been Less upsetting.

i did wonder though - maybe he's the guy who's been fucking with my car (it's gotten keyed, egged, onion ringed, and robbed on 4 occasions).

[WMliberal]

73. that's not really "in public"

doing it almost in the woods in an unlit area, Sniffa has some expectations of privacy. It's not like he's facing the apartment and doing it in broad daylight.
Similarly, this is the difference when you stop off the interstate to pee, you won't get ticketed if you're facing away from the road.

Piss away man. Piss away.

[Redstone]

4. There's an old saying from Arkansas:

When you can't piss off your own porch anymore, it's time to move somewhere less crowded."

Redstone

[Debi]

6. You were only doing what comes natural

to drunken perverts :evilgrin:

[progmom]

7. what a strange encounter

I honestly don't think what you did was so awful, unless you were dripping on him...

[sniffa]

11. see, that's the thing

he's not directLy beLow me; he's on the side. the onLy thing beLow my baLcony is the brook... so even with bad aim and dripping, it's going into the brook or on my porch.. and this is getting too scatty.

[donheld]

75. I volunteer to give aiming lessons

:evilgrin:

[crispini]

9. Question:

You say "top floor" but is that 2nd or 3rd?

Does he have a patio or a back door near or under your balcony?

Because, you know, he could be getting a certain amount of, well, splatter, or the wind could blow it in the wrong direction, or something. I mean, it doesn't take much piss for someone to be able to smell it... :shrug:

[sniffa]

13. 2nd fLoor of an oddLy shaped buiLding

he Lives in the basement (no patio) on the side of me (not beLow me).

[Jessica]

10. Sounds like he's been holding this in ....

unlike you. :P

[Lars39]

12. You've beein peeing in the same spot for how long?

You're probably missing the odor that's been building up at ground level,
especially if the wind's just right.
Lyming the area might help smooth things over.

[sniffa]

14. eh, it's with the ocean now

the brook snakes through the Low section, to a treatment pLant, and then out to sea.

[demnan]

16. So you think

Actually if you were my neighbor, you'd have been missing the organ of offense by now. :evilgrin:

[sniffa]

19. awesome

wouLd you keep it in a jar?

[demnan]

21. No

I would have it "gutted" and stuffed with catnip.

[Lars39]

18. Go down to the brook and sniff around.

You might be surprised by the smell.

[Done]

17. soooo!!! iitsss yoooou!!!

yeeeaars u peee doowwn on mee, now u upset wheeen i cooomplaain???
:mad:

[Bouncy Ball]

20. Don't stand for that, sniffa.

After you apologized, that was the end of it. He had no right to keep bitching, at that point he was just letting loose on ya.

Asshole. Especially since you weren't getting anything on him or his porch. AND you apologized. Geez. Some people just have large sticks up their asses.

[sniffa]

25. thank you

Like i stated above, he was rightfuLLy so angry.

my porch is fairLy isoLated - covered by trees, and no other baLconies on that side; at night it's more covered. i know it the spLashing was Loud, but i didn't think anyone knew what i was doing.. weLL, now i know: the spLashing is Loud, and at Least one neighbor knows what i'm doing.

[MadHound]

22. Hell, I would be very, very angry with you too

Nobody likes to look up, or hear, their sometimes drunken neighbor pissing over the balcony onto the ground, or brook next to them. Not only is it an envirmental problem, I don't care how close you are to the treatment plant, you could very well be causing things to grow that shouldn't. Plus there is the annoying, unmistakable sound one makes, and if you miss the brook, you're creating a fine little smelly mess on the ground. Besides, don't you think that other people want to enjoy that brook, and your pissing in it ruins a community resource?

Only difference is that I wouldn't have held it in. I would have talked to you right off the bat, and if that didn't work, turned in the video I made to the cops and had you hauled off.

If it's your land, and your private about it, piss away, but in this case, I have to agree with your neighbor.

[sniffa]

27. crap, i never thought of that

maybe i shouLd stop dumping my used motor-oiL in the brook, too?

[stellanoir]

23. Let's start an international

network of "sniffa pee free zones."

We can start a website have a cult of worshipers competing to curry your favor to have you to bless our properties with your heavenly extraneous nitrogeneous waste.

That reminds me of something I read when I used to work for a celeb in "Hollyweird". I had to process her mail and she once got a thousand page diatribe expounding upon the virtues of urine and how it was "the elixer of life."

They were really serious about it. It was hysterical.

But more seriously, write a sweet note to him apologizing for offending him in any way. You don't need that kind of animosity hovering around you.

Make peace not pee.

[Celeborn Skywalker]

24. Sounds like an asshole to me

I could understand him approaching you politely about it, but there's no reason for him to blow a gasket.

[Blue Diadem]

26. You remind me of my neighbors

when we first moved to Michigan and lived in an apartment for a year. It was the longest year of my life. No, it wasn't human pee, it was dog hair and most likely dog pee and crap from her shaking her rugs over the balcony.

They'd brush their dog and throw it off the balcony..it looked like snow. My patio door screen, patio furniture, grill and plants, all covered with white 4" long dog hair. Occasionally we'd be out sitting and suddenly these drips would come through their balcony floor boards. Then the twit would shake her rugs and all her dirty crap would float back towards my table and door. I'm not saying the people were bad, they just didn't think about who might be below them. Ya know, they could never figure out why our apartment didn't stay rented for any length of time.

Sniffa, I hope you learned a lesson. It isn't appropriate to pee where ever you wish to pee. I'm still trying to get that through some teenage neighborhood boys thick heads, who choose to pee in my backyard or neighboring back yard and don't care who sees them..including my 5 yr old granddaughter.

[sniffa]

28. oh, i Learned it

and i truLy feLt bad about it - i had never thought about it untiL that moment.

i'm aLso angry at how 'tough' the guy got with me though. i do have a nagging feeLing that i have to go show him up now.

i'm aLso angry now, that if i was enraging him that much, why aren't the other more pressing probLems in the neighborhood bothering him, and why isn't he out threatening peopLe to stop crapping up the area.

[Tracer]

29. Is there something wrong with your bathroom?

Toilet stopped up?

Too far away?

You've got a bladder problem?

C'mon Sniffa Ñ go inside and do it in private.

[sniffa]

35. no, no, and no

i'm just a fiLthy pig.

[TX-RAT]

41. Please tell me this is just a joke.

[sniffa]

43. i'm afraid not

i'm a fiLthy animaL.

[TX-RAT]

57. OK then.

In TX, what you did is an arrest-able offense.
With that said, i must admit, i enjoy a good country piss as well as the next man. the difference is my back porch is in the middle of about 2000 acres. I think your real problem is a simple one, a man just can't resist peeing in the water, the higher the elevation the more pleasure we experience.
It's evolution i tell ya, we can't help it.

[Blue Diadem]

33. Maybe he's not out after other wrong things,

because you are the closest, right out by his apartment and community brook. I understand how you feel, if he could have just said to knock it off and accepting your apology, instead of being so enraged.

It makes me wonder though if at some point, he'd been splattered and you didn't realize it. Windy conditions can carry liquid droplets quite far. Ever held up a hose set on narrow stream on a windy day and had the water droplets travel 20-30 ft?

[crispini]

39. Gawd. Apartment living. I don't miss it. nt

[ET Awful]

30. I think you should build yourself a pee funnel or trough on your balcony

with an attached hose that goes all the way down to the ground, is buried and emerges under the waterline of the brook.

This way he not only doesn't have to hear your pee, but it has no splash danger to him :).

[tridim]

31. At least you're not a "carpet pisser"

I pee outside all the time. It saves water.

[LynneSin]

32. Next I'm going to find out you're pooping in your neighbor's lawn...

..and killing Mrs. Matcom's song birds.

Do we need to put a bell around your neck?

[crispini]

37. LOL.

:rofl:

[sniffa]

38. i figured i'd spice up these neighbor-scat threads

[ElsewheresDaughter]

34. good for your neighbor!

[sniffa]

36. indeed

[GoddessOfGuinness]

40. My brother used to do that when he was a kid...

He was too damned lazy to go downstairs to pee, so he'd tinkle out his window, which was directly over top of mine. My dad had wondered for several years about the little patch of yard where nothing would grow.

My brother turned into a rethuglican. I hope you don't.

[hfojvt]

42. trouble is, we usually say nothing

until we are really angry.
People rarely spoke to me in Iowa. The one time someone did, it was when he opened his door to yell at me for bringing my dogs to pee on his yard every day. In fact, I did goto his house every day on purpose. He had a dog who lived in a six foot cage and was rarely spoken to or petted. So I figured it would make his dog's day to see my dogs. I went there at the end of my walk, so my dogs were peed out, although the male kept lifting his leg anyway.
I just thought, sheesh the one time my neighbor talks to me. One more reason Iowa stands for "Inbred Oafs Without Affability".
I think it was Gallagher who said that "a man will piss on anything except his own leg." I used to go off my front porch on my own rural isolated property. At the time it saved me a 20 yard walk to the outhouse.
If you can, get a DvD of the Seinfeld episode where George pees in the shower and mail it to your neighbor as an apology.

[crispini]

46. You know, you're right.

And this is probably what's going on here.

[demnan]

44. You know, thanks for this thread

I thought my neighbors above were bad for throwing cigarette butts. Makes me appreciate them more.

[sniffa]

45. i thought

you were thanking me for the entertainment vaLue. my bad.

[IntravenousDemilo]

80. In that case, you could have invited us to watch.

That might even be kinda hot -- you know, depending on size, etc.

[Cadence]

47. Gross.

I can tell you this.. I hate my neighbors downstairs. I hate, hate, HATE them. They do everything as loudly as possible, talk, sneeze, have sex, watch t.v. I feel like I'm living with them. I have been down to tell them to be quieter once and they were good for a while but now they are back to being loud at times. It took me four months to go down the first time and I was really, really pissed by the time I did. Now I could go down again but for whatever reason I don't, and I fume and imagine beating them senseless with a baseball bat. Now that's not right and I know that. I'm not a violent person. I would never actually beat them with a baseball bat. I can't explain why I don't just go down again and say shut the fuck up... instead I am building a rage. It has something to do with feeling powerless. That's about all I know.

[sniffa]

49. for the most part

i'm a great neighbor, as far as apartments go - i keep to myseLf, don't probe into any of their Lives (it's much better to just make shit up about them), am very quiet (despite my Lack of adequate hearing), and i'm obsessive about taking out trash so there's no Lingering smeLL.

i.p. freeLy

[On the Road]

48. You Have Brightened My Day, Sniffa

This is the most entertaing post in long time. I don't think it was that bad under the conditions you described, but I also understand why your neighbor was ticked off. He's probably a coward, was holding it in and boiling for a long time, and finally just lashed out. It doesn't speak well for him.

When I was ten, my family had a space heater in the bathroom during the winter. I liked to flick water droplets onto the element to see them sizzle. Then one day I decided I had a nice stream of water going already -- why not try that? Trust me (everyone) when I recommend: never, ever pee into a space heater.

[sniffa]

50. i understand too

i had just never thought about it untiL that moment (and i feeL terribLe about it now). maybe, i shouLd have given him the fight he was Looking for; my sheepish apoLogy didn't seem to be what he wanted.

i'm gLad you were entertained. :D

[On the Road]

58. Not Everyone Would be as Open About It

that speaks well for you. One thing I like about DU is the opportunity to talk about and hear about things that might not be discussed somewhere else. It's something about this place.

You're much better off apologizing than fighting it, IMO. You can let it go much more easily, while your neighbor may still be obsessing about it. People create their own private hells.

[Misunderestimator]

51. I would have gone to you the first day and said...

"Girlfriend, you better stop pissing off the balcony." :D Your neighbor obviously has some issues with repressing his feelings. :hi:

[sniffa]

54. girLfriend, you need to...

:P

i understand repression. i seethe constantLy.... i just never Let it out.

[WI_DEM]

52. I guess the moral of the story is: use the toilot inside your apt.

[sniffa]

55. but then the terrorists win

go inside? in a toiLet? that's not america... that's not even mexico.

[underpants]

53. Let me get this straight-you were peeing off the top floor balcony?

How many floors? 2? 3?

That is funny in one way but I think I see where your neighbor is coming from-it probably smells of urine down there and even if it doesn't it is pretty disrespectful to basicall piss on him or at least near where he lives.

*I* live on the first floor so this isn't a problem for me :evilgrin:

If one of my neighbors was doing this I would say something to them-We are going through something like this with the trash on the third floor collecting their trash on the fire escape (it comes wafting down in pieces).

[sniffa]

56. you shouLd approach your neighbor then

and deemaaannnnd respect.

i'm on the 2nd fLoor.

[underpants]

60. I already did

I din't demand respect I told him to get the fucking garbage off the fire escape and for god's sake at least throw the Christmas tree down and that I would carry it to the trashcans.

They cleaned it up once and then started stacking it back up.

What a mess.

[crispini]

59. This makes me think of something that happened this weekend.

When I lived in an apartment people would come and wash cars under my window and blare their rap and stuff. I never said anything, because I don't like to be confrontational with strangers. Also I could see their point. It's nice to play your music loud when you wash the car on a pretty summer afternoon. Of course, for me, it would also have been nice to NAP on a pretty summer afternoon. But I never, EVER said anything, even though I was so irritated ALL the time.

Fastforward to this weekend. I own my own house now. My neighbor owns two homes on his property next door, and rents out the house in the back. The renters moved in this weekend, and they were blaring the rap from their cars while they moved in, and I was working in the yard. I thought about ignoring it, but then I decided that I was enjoying the day and the front lawn and all that -- but more than that, I didn't want to set a precedent with them. Damnit, I own my own damn house now (and I'm on really good terms with his landlord, the property owner and my neighbor) and so I was going to draw the line.

So I very politely asked him to turn it off, as I was enjoying the day, birds, etc. He did so, and we were fine, smiiles all round, blah blah.

Point being, though, that my knees were quite literally shaking for half an hour after that. I guess you never know when people have issues -- and when people get all not-wanting-to-confront people it just makes it tougher.

Apartment living is weird.....

(edited to clarify a sentence)

[sniffa]

62. that worked out weLL

:D

i onLy wish i had the caLm and resoLve to take on every matter so i can Leave my emotions aside. it's hard.

good for you.

[Zhade]

61. I had a scary 7-11 moment a couple of nights ago.

Me and my roomie had gathered our goods, and were about to get in line, when some guy EXPLODED at another guy, yelling at him to "wait his turn". When the alleged offender apologized, the guy got even angrier, his face red, and he started shouting about how he was going to punch the guy out. This went on for a few minutes, with a growing line and no one saying anything.

Crazy McNutso then said something like, "there are plenty of assholes in the world, and you're one of them." Since I'm an idiot, I muttered "more than one asshole in this store". Thankfully the guy didn't hear me - he looked like he would have stabbed someone if he'd had a knife.

Then he started babbling about how he was going to go to Vegas and knock out Mike Tyson, and how his ancestor invented the radio (his ancestor wasn't Marconi, so it's fair to say the guy was wrong).

This guy was clearly out of his gourd. The clerk looked scared until the guy left.

And that's my Scary 7-11 Story!

[phusion]

68. Don't you love 7-11?!

I was in a 7-11 here in Albuquerque when this guy standing in line was stabbed in the arm for no apparent reason. After stabbing the victim, the perp ran out of the store and around the corner.

The clerk told the guy to sit down and call the cops. Then he rang up everyone else in line like nothing happened. :)

[Zhade]

71. Sadly, that might mean he's seen it all before.

Humans can suck at times.

But I must confess, I do like 7-11, though I'm sure I'll learn they suck Republican ass or something.

[RedCloud]

63. What the "L" is wrong with this thread?

Believe it or not we are animals and sometimes we need to take a whiz. Nature permits us to take leaks. Whiz is often good for grass and other plants, plus you could be marking your territory.

Once while drunk out of my gourd in New Mexico, I had to take a whiz. But the bathroom was full and a line. So I got far away from the place. I bumped my drunken head on some adobe and cursed it for not being made out of some scratchy cut you to pieces crap. Then I start to whiz out by the full moonlight. The deranged neighbor had his doberman out who came right up to me (trespass) and starting barking at me while I was merely taking a whiz. Can you imagine? A dog upset with whiz? Well I was outraged and drunk and I turned to see if somebody was coming and without thinking I gave the barking doberman a golden shower. Well he got really pissed and so did I! What right did that dog have to keep bugging me on someone else's property? Anyway, he went away, dripping wet away.

Humans 1 Dobermans 0

Continue to micturate in secret sniffa!

[byronius]

64. At least you agreed to stop. That makes it all right, sort of.

[maveric]

65. Why dont you piss in your toilet?

Your profile tells me that you live in Boston. What brook runs through the city?
Why relieve yourself outdoors?

[sniffa]

66. woah, one question at a time.

ok, you; shoot!

[MissB]

67. Buy him a box of cornflakes

and let him know you won't be pissing outside again.

He is an ass for not saying anything the first time or so.

[chickenscratching]

69. god! haven't any of you seen waterworld!?

there's nothing smelly, or untasty about another persons urine. i LOVE it. we need more people like sniffa around for people like me that don't have the money to pay the water bill and must go at it waterworld style. OK?

[Logansquare]

70. That is disgusting. I mean you, not your neighbor.

I would have called the cops on you. Aren't you glad you have an online community to teach you what is normal behavior?

[HEyHEY]

72. I agree with you, we should be allowed to pee wherever!

I peed in Seattle last weekend. IN a bush on Queen Anne

[Joe Chi Minh]

74. If it was winter...

with snow on the ground... why, you might have had "eyes like piss-holes in the snow", into the bargain, and what would he have said to that!

[Deja Q]

77. While there is nothing wrong in engaging in natural acts,

I can think of better things to do near the woods, and pee is best left for toilets. :D

[donheld]

78. Sniffa how old is this fool?

[Left Is Write]

79. I'm laughing right now -

because on another board, I just opened a thread entitled "I'm pissed off."

At any rate - I'd probably be annoyed if I were your neighbor. You're already at home...why not use your own bathroom?

[medeak]

81. ever thought there might be kids around?

jeeeeesus.

[name not needed]

82. It's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on

:)

[redqueen]

83. Was he drunk?

With all the elongated syllables and irrational anger, he had to be either drunk or mentally unbalanced.

I can't say it would bother me that much. Unless it was stinking up the area... but even so you apologized and said you'd stop, so wtf?

[goodboy]

84. man, it's not like you pissed on his head! don't sweat it. (nt)

[sparky_in_ma]

85. Be very careful

If he captures you he may take you to the vet and be put down.:-(