Neighbor from Hell is pushing me to a breaking point.

[Ripley]

This Demonoid from an Insane Asylum World in the depths of Hell has devil children that have fucked with our property for years. I stuck it out and got over their prankish crap like toilet-papering our 40 foot oaks (note: I have no children, and have made friends with all the other neighbors), broken flower pots on the porch, even the initial carving of their names in our sidewalk as poured when our home was built (smart they aint). Yes, even the plastic bag full of dead doves shoved into my azaleas one year. I got over it. That last thing was about 4 years ago. Kids grow up.

But, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Today I go out and find my old faithful pickup truck I park on the street in front of my home is covered in broken eggs ground into the windows and driver's door and handle.

I'm gonna explode.

I'm on a cul-de-sac in a fairly expensive neighborhood and these muthafucking kids and their Hyena-parades around nude in front of the workmen (workmen on my home told me this) in her home yet has a Roy Moore supportive blue and white 10 COMMANDMENTS plaque on her front porch which was also there when her ex-husband (she drove to Iowa) came by a year ago to pick up one of her 4 kids for visitation and she stood in the middle of the culdesac screaming obscenities at him as he sat inside his Honda with the windows rolled up (that really scared the hell out of me because I thought someone was being assaulted and nearly called the cops), oh yeah finishing the run-on sentence to describe her...Monster from Planet No-fucking-sane-person-should-go - well, I've had it with their shit.

Somehow I managed to write this on a piece of paper and tape it to the inside of my truck window: "I Know Who Vandalized This Truck. One Word: Karma"

I really want Payback. I really want to start a fucking war. I want to get up tonight at 3:00 AM and smear eggs on the freaking truck, SUV and sports car in the street in front of their home.

But that is wrong.

:nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke:

[proud2BlibKansan]

1. Call the cops

I believe vandalism is one of those crimes they will investigate.

[Ripley]

5. I thought about it.

But I'm in the county and I know a deputy. They have so little manpower to investigate violent crimes, this would take them away from that.

I did notify my homeowner's association. They publish this shit in their newsletter.

Assholes.

[Orsino]

26. "Ground-in" material will have captured fingerprints.

Could be useful to have your truck, or their next target, given the official once-over.

There will be a next target, since their tactics have so obviously gotten your goat with no consequences to them.

[Joey Liberal]

2. Get a large Pit Bull

Your problems will stop.

[H2O Man]

9. Very bad idea.

Unless you consider being sued in civil court as ending problems.

[spooky3]

3. report the incident to the police.

Don't get yourself in trouble over this.

[hollowdweller]

6. Only fuck with them though legal means

Catch them doing anything, call the police. Any kind of crap you can catch them in get them in trouble. But don't just go down there and "get them back" That's probably what they are wanting.

[H2O Man]

12. Very good idea.

It's the best option there is.

[RPM]

big dogs and a restraining order

fuck em

[sexybomber]

4. key the truck

Take your sharpest key and do a 360 around it. Maybe even a 720.

[Ripley]

8. Honey your avatar is Buddah.

And you suggest a violent act?

I would never do that. I would think about breaking eggs tho.

[Cleita]

7. I take it you don't have a Homeowner's Association.

Ever thought of going to Radio Shack and investing in some sensors and cameras to catch them in the act? Then the police can't ignore you. Don't get yourself into trouble over this.

[Ripley]

13. Oh see my response above.

Yes, I have an association. The only problem is they are pretty lame. They have been trying for two years to stop people from letting their kids drive (illegally) 4-wheelers and golf carts on the streets of our neighborhood. But the parents obviously don't give a shit, don't stop the kids and the sheriff's dept. is too busy to respond to every call about that.

One kid died a year ago by driving his dirt bike into the side of a SUV when he went through a stop sign. Dumber than dirt. Parents too.

[shesemsmom]

10. Get a sign

beware of the dog. And make police reports EVERYTIME it happens. A pray for a witness some where along the line. BUT DO NOT EGG ANYTHINH because YOU will get caught. It never fails

[onebox30]

11. Don't start a war unless you are willing to take it to a higher level.

I've had this type of problem before. Let me just say that it is better to be feared than loved or respected.

[R. A. Fuqua]

14. I am so sorry.

I would invest in a small, hidden outdoor video camara--hopefully you can catch them on tape doing something wrong. If you do, the tape can be used to prosecute (and also to humiliate them).

[flvegan]

15. The wonders that glue and etching fluid can do...

<whistle>

Heh heh heh...paint thinner...heh heh heh...

[Horse with no Name]

16. Find a large bully

Rent this kid to hang around your house a few days for a week or so.
Have him terrorize (but not injure) these kids so they won't be back.
Kids have a way of dealing with their own.
Good luck.

[foreigncorrespondent]

17. I would call the cops...

...and report it, if I was you.

I know how hard it is to have a difficult neighbour. I have one. An elderly man who is very loud, and always dropping the f-bomb every few seconds.

About a year ago, we had my sister and her kids stay here one weekend. And while she was here a family friend and one of her two sons came over for dinner. When she was leaving we decided to walk her out, and we were talking quietly while walking. But this old guy came across and abused us for making noise (when I'm not around.) He has also cornered my mother and had a go at her about noise, but mum is intimidated by him, and says nothing. He has never come up and said anything to me, but I think I intimidate him because of the security uniform I wear to work.

One day I am gonna get jack of him waking me up in the early morning hours, and will walk over and tell him to shut up for once. I don't think he realizes just how damn noisy he actually is.

So anyway, don't lower yourself to their standard and begin doing what they have put you through for years. Just set up a few security camera's around your house and film them vandalizing your property, so you have the proof you need to seek retribution through the courts.

[smoogatz]

18. If you're going for revenge, go big.

Go to your local building supply. Take a fistful of hundred dollar bills. Order cement mixer full of cement. When neighbor from hell is it work and kids are at school, bribe driver to fill all three of their vehicles to the cieling with cement. When neighbor from hell and brats return home, videotape their reactions. Send tape to "America's Funniest Home Videos" or "Jackass" or current equivalent. They will never, ever fuck with you again. You will, of course, have to replace all of their vehicles and possibly do a short stretch in the county jail. But it'll be worth it.

[Massacure]

20. LMAO.

Too bad that would be a felony.

[HamstersFromHell]

19. As owner of a car that's been vandalized before...

there's one thing one of our mailing list members came up with that works pretty well.

Convertible owners have it bad, in that if you keep things in your car and it locked, they'll cut the top or rear window to gain access.

Go to the local gun store and buy a holster.

Place it in plain view inside the vehicle.

The power of suggestion and a bit of uncertainty does wonders for a potential criminal mind. Do they really want to mess with your vehicle and perhaps find out where the gun is?

The list member said it's completely eliminated criminal acts against his car.

One maybe less effective but perhaps worth trying. Sticking in a front window of the house or truck an old sign I once saw in the window of an antique shop in the country: "This store guarded by shotgun 3 nights a week. You guess the nights."

[Ripley]

23. Haha!

Good suggestions! However, I think the drunk prick teenager who is the spawn of Satan's worst nightmare didn't look inside my truck.

He puked, ate a raw egg, then puked it on my truck. These people are stupid fucks, but they will hear from me some day.

[Erika]

21. Get a camera installed. It's worth the $

Also gives you proof.

[gardenista]

22. Call the cops. This is harrasment.

And, install a camera. It is worth it for the peace of mind it will give you to know that you don't always have to be on your guard. The camera will catch it if anything else happens. You go on with your life, and they go on being assholes. (But probably to someone else.)

The cops should get a report of the egg and all the other incidents. Then there is a precedent for when you catch it on tape.

[rstlne]

24. If you really want to start a war...

Buy a ton or two of manure and have it delivered to you're neighbor's address, Tell them to just dump it in the driveway.

[Cleita]

25. That old prank that we used to play in the fifties when we were teens?

LOL. It won't work today.