Don't forget your dating etiquette.....Nancy Reagan tips

[SoCalDem]

http://www.bizbag.com/Nancy%20Reagan/Nancy%20Reagan%20Guide.htm

Introduction



Hi. If you are “twixt twelve and twenty” and a would-be dater, this book is for you. In it, I am going to deal honestly, and sometimes quite frankly, with the joys and pitfalls of teen-age dating in the hope that it may prevent your first corsage from shriveling up into a bouquet of nettles.

A dating manual for this day and age? one of your “sophisticated” chums may scoff. Why, all that jazz about moral decency and lofty ideals is a lot of bunk and hooey! Is it? Well, take a good look, fellows and girls, at the dangers that surround you in today's “anything goes” world. Everywhere a teen turns, he is assaulted by an avalanche of filth that lurks in many forms-pornographic movies, obscene novels, indecent plays, lurid magazines, prurient snapshots, seductive television commercials, suggestive song lyrics, immodest dances, salacious paintings, lewd advertisements, coarse poems, smutty radio shows, depraved newspapers, indelicate lithographs, perverse sculptures, shady stories, gross cookbooks, tawdry cocktail napkins, ribald postcards, libertine bumper stickers, provocative buttons, meretricious gestures, licentious operas, pandering food labels, and shameless zoos.

It's enough to make me sick to my stomach. Actually, after a drive through L.A., I often get sick to my stomach and have to spend a whole afternoon in the little girls' room. As a matter of fact, I think I'm already a little woozy, and I haven't even gotten to the first chapter yet.

Where does this nauseating tidal wave of smut and garbage come from? Well, you won't find out from the “Sex O'Clock News,” but it is no secret that certain foreign powers would like nothing better than to see our country paralyzed and prostrated by a degenerate Supreme Court that sanctions petting sprees and free love as "freedom of choice" and “harmless kicks.” While America rots from within, all the Russkies would have to do is rumble through Washington in tanks with those long, nasty things on top and pick up the pieces. Her youth “brainwashed” by so-called “liberated” codes of behavior, a mighty nation would be vanquished, laid low by deep kissing and petting parties.

But young people all love dates, and there is no finer preparation for marriage than a wholesome, well-rounded social life. I have received thousands of letters from concerned teens all over the country, begging. for advice on this important (and fun!) part of adulthood, and I hope this book will serve as a useful and informative answer.

Hi.




hysterical...much more..

[SoCalDem]

1. Chapter IV ......The Nightmare of Wet Dreams

Chapter IV

The Nightmare of Wet Dreams

Nocturnal emissions, or “wet dreams” as they are often called, were once dreaded and traumatic experiences for young boys of the Victorian era. But today there can be little doubt that these perfectly normal, disgusting catastrophes are merely your body's way of “priming the pump” for the coming responsibilities of manhood and marriage, and a signal to your mother or laundry that you are ready for dating.

Should you have a nocturnal emission, do not worry. A few easy preparations for this can be made in advance. Each night, before your mom tucks you in, make sure she supplies you with two bath towels, an automobile sponge, a mop, a pail of hospital-strength disinfectant, a five-gallon can of industrial cleanser, a hammer, a chisel, and a two-handed paint scraper.

[speckledgator]

2. Priming the pump????

OH MY f**king nerves! LMAO