Animal lovers and good problem solvers help my friend

[caledesi]

Here's the story:

My friend dog (mutt...collie, shepherd etc) was in his yard and a small cat from his neighbor came into the yard and my friend's dog attacked the cat and killed it.

The neighbor (real redneck, gun-toting guy) who owns 3 other cats comes over and has a complete meltdown shouting "you better control your dog." My friend responded with "I am so sorry about what happened, BUT your cat was in MY yard."

Now he is afraid that the neighbor will do harm to his dog poison; shoot etc).

My friend is a control freak and there are some problems (at least to me) w/ his thinking...he keeps saying 'the cat was in MY yard; it's a law here that you must hv a leash on a cat....blah, blah,' - you get the idea.

My suggestion:

Give the neighbor grieving time.
Go to your neighbor and tell him how bad u feel about the incident.
DO NOT talk blame. DO NOT talk about "laws."
Instead, tell the neighbor something like "how can WE solve this problem so it doesn't happen again?"

Your ideas??

Thank you DUers. I know we hv some heavy-duty pet lovers here.

[NashVegas]

1. The Last Three

Don't wait to express an apology.

Your friend needs to get over his own defensiveness first, though, and accept the fact that his dog fucking killed another animal, and one that someone cared about.

If your friend can't drop his defensive stance, ain't too much hope.

[hlthe2b]

3. Yes, but I think compassion towards both parties is in order....

The friend may be horrified by the actions of his pet, but also very protective towards the dog. I'd guess on some level, he is concerned that a major misunderstanding could result in his losing the dog to a court or animal control action, so is in "legal defense" mode.

[caledesi]

9. Good point about the grieving. I just thought if he were calmer,

maybe they could make headway, but my friend def has issues that he better get over it.

[hlthe2b]

2. Well, I certainly agree your friend wants to de-escalate....

He may technically be in the right, since the cat was in his yard, but that isn't going to help anything unless the neighbor tries to take him to court or bring "vicious animal charges" against his dog to animal control. After all, it is very traumatic to lose a loved animal that way and the neighbor is probably dealing with his own guilt, in having let the cat out.

I agree with your approach, but would suggest including a neutral neighbor in the process as a "mediator," if necessary. Compassion, regardless of who was right or wrong is needed, along with mutual understanding of animal behavior. The dog was not necessarily proving himself to be other than a loving animal, but rather one that still maintains some instinctive predatory tendencies toward small animals.

[Mend]

4. The average life span of a cat

allowed to roam is three years. Dogs will guard their territory from predators and cats are predators....just ask the bird lovers about loose cats. He can express sorrow over the neighbor's loss but that is different from accepting responsibility for something that will happen in these circumstances. The world is not safe for roaming animals.

[amazona]

5. give the neighbor a lot of grieving time

...like maybe a thousand years.

Do not under any circumstances ever, ever, EVER even to give an apology step foot on that neighbor's property.

The way to solve the problem so it doesn't happen again is to get a restraining order against the gun-toting neighbor if he keeps on ranting about this. Otherwise, just keep your distance. If you never go on his property, and he never goes on yours, then you are unlikely to wind up shooting each other over a freakin' cat.

Gun-toting rednecks are not going to be educated by us about the irresponsibility of allowing their animals to wander. They are grown-ups and dangerous ones. Keep Your Distance. If the psycho neighbor continues to allow his other 3 cats to wander, yes, they will likely be killed, if not by the dog then by feline leukemia, wild animals, passing cars, you name it. But, guess what. It is not your responsibility to get yourself shot to protect three cats that are not even yours.

Stay away from rednecks toting guns. And I say this knowing there are those who would call me a redneck.

No good can come of fantasizing about sitting down and talking it out California-style. Let it die, and hope the redneck gets engrossed in more immediate problems, slobs by the nature of things often have multiple problems competing for their attention, so you might as well let this work to your advantage.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[NashVegas]

7. That's Just So Wrong

If there was no problem between the neighbors - redneck or not - before the incident, there's no reason to cement hard feelings into place.

Restraining orders, etc., if unnecessary, only guarantee you've got an enemy living next door.

[caledesi]

10. I know plenty of nice, sane rednecks, so I prob shouldn't hv used

that term

[Floogeldy]

6. I'm not sure I would keep a dog that would kill a cat

My dogs have always gotten along well with cats.

[amazona]

8. not fair to pass him on to someone else though

I think you would have a problem giving away a dog known to have killed a cat and it would be a bit unfair not to disclose this problem in case the new owner had other pets or a problem with neighbor's cats in his neighborhood.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[hlthe2b]

11. Don't ever get a greyhound, then.....

They are known for this, because they are trained on the rabbit at the track and greyhound rescue groups will make sure adoptees understand this. I think those who have never raced may also have the tendency....

Chows often go after cats too. Some breeds will. At the same time we see the gentle giants who will literally nurse a kitten or other small mammal-- a fawn recently was in the news....

Dogs are very very special creatures, but on some level there is instinctual behavior that is more or less pronounced in certain breeds...

[auburngrad82]

12. I wouldn't trust my dogs with a cat

They've never been exposed to cats. Our neighbors have a cat that they let wander but I don't let the dogs out if I see the cat in the yard. Better safe than sorry.

Our dogs are fenced. The biggest reason they are fenced is to keep them from wandering and getting shot or turning into car bait. The other reason, almost as big, is to keep other people's animals out of our yard.

I do not take my animals out of the yard off leash and we spent a lot of money on fencing. We've done our part. If an animal gets into the yard and is attacked, I will feel bad about it but I would not consider it our fault. The person who lets their animal wander has to take the bulk the responsibility.