I just got a forwarded email telling me who I should pray for.

[Bouncy Ball]

It included bush and falwell.

:puke:

There's another email address that gets blocked. And I thought she had a brain, too.

See what I mean, people? I CAN'T ESCAPE. There's no escape. The only thing you can do is out-crazy them.

[ZenLefty]

1. I'll pray for you.

:+

[Bouncy Ball]

2. FUCK YOU.

I'm sorry. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

Wow, so sorry for that outburst.

:D

[ZenLefty]

8. Bless you, child.

O8)

[kick-ass-bob]

3. as will I.

:D

[Bouncy Ball]

5. Fuck you sideways.

:D

[jswordy]

7. H-E-Y, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN! Can I try it????

[Bouncy Ball]

22. Sure, do you know how to do it alone?

[kick-ass-bob]

12. kinky.

:*

[ZenLefty]

11. We must pray for Bouncy Ball's soul.

I bet it's round, like a ball. Do you think souls are round? I always thought they looked like disco balls like on Soul Train. :think:

[kick-ass-bob]

18. I always thought they were more oblong. with a hole in the middle.

:shrug:

You just busted up my thinking.

[Bouncy Ball]

20. That's because he worships Satan.

[kick-ass-bob]

29. then what the hell are those halo thingys?

[ZenLefty]

37. That's the hoop the soul goes through.

1 point if it's thrown from up close, and 2 if it's thrown from a far way away.

[fertilizeonarbusto]

4. Send back a message saying that

you are sacrificing a goat to Satan on Foulwell and Chimpy's behalf. That should take care of that.

[Bouncy Ball]

6. I shall be drinking goat blood

in the name of Beezlebub.

LOL

[texas1928]

9. I have made a rule.

No one sends me those prayer requests. I told them it does not mean I am heartless and not a Christian, it is I just do not want to receive all the bull.

[efhmc]

10. I think you should also pray for them, i.e.; that they be delivered from

following the ways of the Devil.

[Bouncy Ball]

13. I should really email her back with this:

"Congratulations, you are the one hundred millionth person to shove religion in my face this year. Which means you are the one who has made me officially a devil-worshipper. No, not atheist. A DEVIL WORSHIPPER. Congratulations, you are the reason that Satan is now my King. Now go the hell away, I hate you. I can say that now, being a Satan worshipper and all."

[Spider Jerusalem]

14. Hahaha.

You know, I saw a van belonging, apparently, to a church basketball team this morning. On the side was painted....wait for it..."Bouncing The Ball For Jesus". Seeing your post made me think of it. Heh.

[Bouncy Ball]

16. WELL

FUCK ME. Now they're making slogans up about me and Jesus.

:D

Oh it's rapidly reaching the pinnacle of the absurd around here. At least I'll have interesting stories to tell the grandkids.

[Theres-a]

15. sorry about the wierd pic I posted in your other thread

I learned how to post pictures the other day.I apoligize if I offended.

[Bouncy Ball]

17. What weird pic?

???

[Theres-a]

21. this one

[Bouncy Ball]

24. Why would that offend me?

It's just weird, I don't find it offensive.

:D

[Theres-a]

26. the thread was gone so fast,I couldn't reply to my reply,

glad you weren't offended.

[jonnyblitz]

19. was it from a DUer?? it wouldnt surprise me.

:crazy:

[GOPisEvil]

23. In contrast, I got an email from my friend who is getting married Sat.

I'm doing a reading. Written by Buddha. You need to move to Austin. :-)

[Bouncy Ball]

27. You always gotta RUB IT IN MY FACE don'tcha?

The place where on any random weeknight you can find someone fire eating in their front yard.

The place where I saw a guy going down Burnet Road on a super tall unicycle while juggling bowling pins.

The place where a guy has a stolen newspaper holder in his front yard holding his own newsletter about how the world's gonna end because of the "electric waves in the air." (He lives down the street from my friends.)

The place where my friends go walking their dog at night and randomly get invited into people's houses to eat "special" brownies.

:cry:

[GOPisEvil]

30. I'm trying to motivate you!

Stop dreaming - start acting! :D

[Bouncy Ball]

31. I'm motivated every day.

And every time I go to Austin, which by the way, I'll be there again this weekend. Saturday all day I am dealing with my friend's shower (the babies are due NEXT MONTH!).

On Sunday afternoon I'm going to a work-related conference, but let's get together sometime Sunday if you can.

[GOPisEvil]

32. Sunday works.

I think I'm free, although I haven't heard about a post-wedding gathering.

[Bouncy Ball]

33. I'll PM.

[elehhhhna]

25. Pray that Falwell goes to the light.

[Bouncy Ball]

28. I have the PERFECT prayer for Falwell

bush and ALL their ilk, wanna hear it?

I pray that they get everything they deserve.

There, perfect.

[RebelOne]

34. After the election, a fundie, pro-Bush, pro-war friend

sent me an e-mail with the photo of Bush with the halo of light around his head and asked me to pray for him. I wrote back and told her that if I was a praying person, I'd pray for the SOB to drop dead.

[stellanoir]

35. BB

In as much as I hate to harp on this,

SWEDISH FISH are the only thing that will redeem your soul eternally.

Repent now !!!.

But seriously, a one liner that has worked for me for eons when anyone dares to try to lay Biblical crap on me is, "Though I DO appreciate your insights, I don't discuss the Bible with anyone who is not fluent in Hebrew and Aramaic as it tends to lose so much in the translation." Shuts 'em up every time.

Godspeed darlin'.

[Bouncy Ball]

36. Oh I love that I am going to have to use that!

Thanks! I hate Swedish Fish!

:D

[stellanoir]

38. you know

I've never even had a Swedish Fish and can only imagine that they're completely gross.

That's probably why I'm being so OTT about Skinner giving so many of them away. Just think it's really peculiar yet terribly funny.

Aaand please feel free to use that line. I've never gotten a single rebuttal 'cause those people are utterly clueless.

In truth, I once studied with a mystic who was fluent in those languages and the way they are structured, they can be spun in
an innumerable number of ways. His pure interpretations were actually the most poetic and best of classical comedy, tragedy, irony, and profound mystery.

So that line is not at all deceitful as there is no frigging comparison to the King James schlock. IMHO

No offense to anyone who derives faith from the later interpretations. Whatever floats your boat is fine with me. Just don't rudely splash your wake on my deck.

[RevCheesehead]

39. So why don't you just delete it?

I mean, I get e-mail spam all the time. I report it, it gets deleted. But if I get one of those things in the mail, I simply delete it.

But if it becomes a persistent problem, ask your friend to take you off of their mailing list.

[Bouncy Ball]

40. It's a problem.

It wasn't at first (with this particular person), but it has rapidly become one. And I HAVE asked her to not send me emails like that, but it falls on deaf ears.