Post your favorite Ambrose Bierce quotations here!

[Wonk]

Christian, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.


Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy.


Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.


Academy, n. A modern school where football is taught.

[papau]

1. his civil war stories hit me hard when I first read them - a writer that

was never appreciated enough.

[Redstone]

2. "It is a pity that God does not raise up

a strong-toothed meat-hound, to take this itinerant fraud by the reverse of the pantaloons and back him shrieking into Montgomery Street, where he may be run over by a careening swill cart."
(News Letter, March 18, 1871)

Redstone