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A man was walking along a sidewalk in a very cautious manner, almost as if he were walking on eggs. Two doctors, also on foot, were across the street. They spotted the man and began to discuss his condition.
"Prostrate trouble," said the first doctor.
"Oh no, not at all. That's a case of hemorrhoids if ever I saw one", said the other.
They tossed it back and forth until one of them suggested going over to talk to the man.
"Mister, this gentleman and I are both doctors," said one, "and if you'll pardon our intrusion, I figured you have a bad prostrate problem, but my colleague thought it to be hemorrhoids. Might you state the problem so that we can solve our little dilemma?"
"Well", said the man, "all three of us were wrong. I thought it was gas."
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A man was driving through the countryside when his car failed him. He looked under the hood and moved a few items around with a hammer.
In the process he knocked off a fuel line and got his arm soaked with
gasoline before getting the fuel line back on. Discouraged, he attempted to start his car.
Much to his surprise it started and he headed for the nearest town for a permanent repair. To celebrate his success he lit up a cigarette, at which time his arm exploded into flames. He stuck his arm out the window hoping the wind at 50 miles per hour would put it out.
He was promptly pulled over by local police and given a ticket for illegal use of a firearm...
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Two little old ladies were attending a rather long church service.
One leaned over and whispered, "My butt is going to sleep."
"I know," replied her companion, "I heard it snore three times."
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