If the SciFi Channel had done Lord of the Rings...

[Bossy Monkey]

Watching the cinematic traffic accident that is their adaptation, if that's the word, of Philip Jose Farmer's Riverworld series. Not too many months ago, I made a similar mistake watching in its entirety their mugging of the Earthsea series. Apparently, I'm just a glutton for punishment.

If you've been wiser and avoided this crap, or if you haven't read the books, what they do is make random, pointless changes to plots, characters, storylines, etc., mainly in the interests of foreshortening and getting in younger, better looking people wherever possible. Sort of like American International Pictures drive-in offerings in the 60s without the artistic integrity. (OK, that was just mean.)

Ha! It's taken so long to do the poll that the movie's practically over. That's ok though; trust me that you haven't missed anything.

(If SciFi has really done an adaptation of Lord of the Rings, just don't tell me.)

[Fenris]

1. I think Mansquito would make an appearance.

[Bossy Monkey]

9. "Mansquito!" Worst SciFi Channel promo ever, and that's saying something!

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

10. Worse than "Frankenfish"?

If someone can write, convince a studio to film, produce, and direct "Frankenfish" and "Mansquito", I could get a movie made. Couldn't guarantee on the quality, though.

[democracyindanger]

2. other

The months of "Making Of" specials will run longer than the actual series.

[Bok_Tukalo]

3. Weird. They did Dune so well compared to Lynch.

And I'm not getting it for some reason. When was it supposed to be on?

[Bossy Monkey]

6. Just ended. 7-9 ET.

And it's possible I wronged them; it may not be theirs
Listed by Time Warner as being released in '03 and rated PG, which should mean it was an actual movie. I'll check IMDb and be back momentarily as chastened as necessary.

Edit: No chastening necessary. IMDb user comment: Stab out your eyes before you watch this travesty! : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0310952/

[regnaD kciN]

15. As long as you didn't notice the "outdoors" scenes with...

...the painted back and side walls.

:eyes:

I'm not a Dune expert, but I assume the miniseries was a lot more faithful. However, the Lynch film was a fascinating-to-watch mess. The Sci-Fi series just looked cheap and cheesy, if you ask me.

[Jeebo]

4. I hope they don't ever do Asimov's "Foundation" trilogy...

I don't understand why nobody has made any "Foundation" movies yet. That's the BEST science fiction/fantasy series EVER. If the Sci-Fi Channel would make the same kind of hash out of it, I hope they're not the ones who finally do it.

Ron

[RubyCat]

5. I switched over to watching Rocky I on AMC about a hour into Riverworld.

Then I switched back for the last 5 minutes of Riverworld. They were talking about Mark Twain. Then there was a council of druids meeting.

[Guy Fawkes]

7. Here are some of the characters:

Legolas: Bruce Campbell (Ash: Evil Dead
Aragorn: Michael Gross (Burt Gummer: Tremors)
Arwen: William Shatner

[Bossy Monkey]

12. Shatner's price has gone up lately. Is Walter Koenig still alive? n/t

[mcscajun]

8. "Aragorn throws over Arwen for Eowyn"

That'd be Sci-Fi.

"We can't have the lead go off with an elf! Our demographic shows a clear preference for human-human storylines. Besides, Eowyn's the Blonde."

[Nikepallas]

11. It would have such a low budget for special effects that it would look

and feel like a camp version of Dune.

[Bossy Monkey]

18. Hey, they had a dragon in "Earthsea"! Admittedly, it didn't look

anything like what Ursula K described, or believable or anything like that, but hey, they got a dragon in, darn it.:D

[4_Legs_Good]

13. Thanks for the Peter Jackson option and Dune

I seriously don't think the Sci-Fi Channel could have done a crappier version that Jackson, but who knows.

I did find their version of DUNE to be satisfactory. Better, in most respects, than the Lynch film. The Lynch movie was utterly briliant as far as set design went as well as the incredible atmosphere, but the acting was simply horrific, as was the dialogue.

The only real Lord of the Rings is the one everyone but me will hate until the day they die.



Anyone who disagrees or posts that flying moose link can bite my shiny metal ass!



david

[Bossy Monkey]

14. I couldn't actually go through with seeing the Jackson movies

I'm sure he did as well as anybody could; the trilogy just isn't adaptable into a movie. Gandalf needs to be by turns infinitely wise or infinitely angry; Aragorn noble and strong to the same degree. People just don't come in those varieties.

As to Bakshi (or is that Rankin-Bass-- KIDDING! I'M KIDDING! Don't beat me!), I saw it when I came out, which is to say when I was 10 or 11 and also hadn't read the book. I thought it was silly, muddled and confusing, but as I say, I was very young. I'm sure I would have a higher opinion now, or anyway a much better informed one. Animation certainly has a higher potential for capturing fantasy than does live/ cgi.

[4_Legs_Good]

17. Heh heh heh

To be honest, I thought the Rankin Bass "Return of the King" was better than Jackson's!

As for the Bakshi film, most people still hate it. If you watched it now you might love or hate it. Personally, while most people despise the rotoscoping, I find it very cool, and a new artform that never quite blossomed. The Flight to the Ford sequence is, IMO, one of the most glorious pieces of film ever made, and that one 3 minute clip is about 10,000 x better than the entire Jackson trilogy.



I think the Bakshi film captured the atmosphere of Middle Earth, not to mention that Peter S. Beagle's screenplay used actual dialgoue from the books rather than trying to re-write it for a Hollywoodland audience.

There are some changes he made for which he's been cruicified, but all in all I think it's an incredible film, and one of my favorites of all time. If only a second part had been produced.

*sigh*

I guess, though, that I'd rather have Peter Jackson do the live action version than George Lucas!

david

[Az]

16. I have the Earthsea travesty on my DVR and can't bring myself to watch it

But I can't erase it either. Aaaaaaaagggggg!!!!!

[Dukkha]

19. I've seen the new Battlestar Galactica

Boring Beyond Belief! :boring: